A/N: More randomness! This is based off the email "Words Women Use", which I absolutely LOVE!! It's really awesome :D Anyway, there's not really a pairing, but it's just Naitlyn. Not really any romance, mostly just humor. Enjoy, and plz review!
Disclaimer: I don't own Camp Rock, Caitlyn, Nate, or 'Words Women Use'.
Caitlyn... well, what can I say, sometimes I think she speaks a different language. Like for example, when she says fine, believe me... it's not.
"I can't believe you just said that!" Caitlyn shouted at me, her eyes shooting fire at me as she threw her hands up in the air in frustration.
"Me?" I replied, annoyed and partly astonished. "What about what you're saying?!" Caitlyn shot me a surprised look.
"Ha, keep on dreamin'." She spat, glowering at me.
"But you know I'm right!" I protested, and she raised her eyebrows, crossing her arms.
"Fine." She said briefly, turning her back on me and walking away. That was the first time I'd learned that when she said 'fine', it was a lie. It was just her way of saying, 'I'm right, and you need to shut your pretty mouth up'.
Yeah, good times, huh? Not really. Oh yeah, and when she says 'five minutes'... ha, that's a joke, too.
"Come on, honey, we need to leave now, we're going to be late!" I shouted towards the bathroom, where she was busy getting ready.
"Mhhmmm, I'll be right there." She replied distractedly, "Five more minutes."
An half an hour later, she was still there.
"Only five more minutes!" She'd yelled again, and I sighed. Five more minutes, or two more hours?
Five more minutes only actually meant five minutes when I was watching TV, and her show was coming on.
"Hey Nate, I get the TV in five minutes," Caitlyn yelled from the kitchen, and I'd chuckled under my breath. Sure, I'd all ready learned what 'five minutes' meant. I'd have the TV to myself for at least another forty-five minutes. I relaxed, sinking back against the couch, putting my feet up onto the coffee table. "Okay, it's been five minutes." Caitlyn said, coming into the living room and taking the remote from my hands. I looked up, staring at her in surprise. "Feet off my coffee table!" She commanded, and I quickly removed my feet and placed them on the floor.
"But honey, I thought when you said five minutes..." She cut me off with a laugh.
"That's only when I'm getting dressed, silly." She smirked, switching the channel.
Oh, and when Caitlyn said, 'nothing', I knew that it meant 'something', and that I needed to be on my toes and tread very cautiously.
"What's wrong, honey?" I asked, seeing an upset look on Caitlyn's face. Now I know I should have just stayed far away and let her calm down.
"Nothing." She replied shortly, turning away from me. I moved closer to her, wrapping my arms around her. That's when she elbowed me, right in the ribs. "Leave me alone!" She yelled, leaving me stunned. "Why are you always so worried? Just leave me alone!"
I'd learned later on she wasn't really mad at me, she'd just had a stressful day and I'd gotten right in the line of fire. I'd learned that when she said 'nothing', to just back away and drop it. Oh, and 'that's okay'... that was one of the most scary, horrible, dangerous, nerve-wracking statements she could make.
"I'm really sorry, Caity." I apologized, giving her an apologetic smile, hoping she wouldn't be too mad. I really had tried hard to make it, but I hadn't been able to escape the mob of crazy, insane fans. And it was our anniversary. I hoped she wouldn't kill me in my sleep or anything. She glanced at me, giving me a brief smile.
"That's okay." Was all she'd said, and I'd breathed a sigh of relief. It's okay, thank goodness! I went to bed with a smile on my face. Now I guess I should have known better.
A week later, I'd woken up and all my skinny jeans had been shredded and she'd taken my expensive guitar and cut up the strings.
Be warned: if your girlfriend ever says, 'that's okay', run for the hills. Don't think it's a good thing... just run.
And if she gave you loud sigh, it means she thinks your an idiot.
"Well, see, technically..." I'd began, and Caitlyn had raised her eyebrows, crossing her arms and listening to my technical analysis. When I'd finished, she bit her lip, buried her head in her face, and gave a loud sigh.
"Idiot." She'd mumbled under her breath.
Sometimes, she'd thank me. After all these horrible, dangerous statements she'd used, I didn't know how to react or what to expect. When she'd said that the first time, I'd actually fainted. Which now that I come to think of it, wasn't that good of an idea.
"Ahh! You remembered!" Caitlyn shrieked, throwing her arms around me and hugging me happily, the joy evident in her eyes. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I froze, staring at her in shock. Before I knew it, my world had gone black, and Caitlyn was shouting, shaking me...
Heh... kind of a little embarrassing. It was just not what I'd been expecting at all. I was more used to words like, 'whatever'. Which is a woman's way of saying that's she's getting ready to bury your body.
"Let me explain!" I begged, ready to drop onto my hands and knees, if it made her listen to me. She glanced at me, shaking her head.
"Whatever." She'd snapped, and I'd frowned.
"No, it's not a whatever!" I'd argued, "I can fix this, I really can!" Caitlyn turned to me, smiling.
"Do you have any idea what 'whatever' means? It means, go to heck!" She screamed, slamming the door in my face.
So, for all you men out there, hopefully my close encounters will help you out somewhat, and you won't have to learn the hard way, like I did. Because, it's rather scary when a woman uses those words, so take my advice, always say things like, "yes ma'am" or "no, ma'am", just to be on the safe side. It's much safer that way. You'll live longer.