The Break-Up: Chapter 1 [of 13]
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*
Naruto ran his lines through his head one last time. With the principal watching him the way she was, it was the hardest time possible to remember what he had to say. It didn't matter though, he reassured himself. He was allowed to appear distressed.
"It's really very rare that anyone is allowed to apply for bonus points," the principal said sternly.
"I know." But I have to get them. "But I – I know this is awkward – my marks in the upcoming exams are probably going to suffer."
He calculated his downward stare at the nameplate on the desk proclaiming TSUNADE – not so short that it was trivial, not so long that it was melodramatic. He was a good liar; he knew that mere seconds could make all the difference.
Tsunade, the principal, frowned, though not angrily. "Is it related to some kind of trauma?"
Naruto nodded.
"Well, you'll have to fill out a report, and also give me details and evidence. I know it's a thoroughly unpleasant process, but I'm sure you can appreciate the necessity. A death certificate, veterinary report – whatever relates to your particular… grievance."
He nodded again. He didn't speak. He had to seem reluctant to explain.
"So . . . what is your grievance?" Tsunade asked. "I'm sorry if this is too frank."
"A – a break up," Naruto said quietly.
"Sorry?"
"A break up," he said, louder, but shakier. "With my boyfriend of three years."
There was a substantial pause in which the conflicting impacts of this statement hit Tsunade, all the relevant facts visibly leaping out at her and directing her thoughts: just a teen love crisis. Three years. With another male.
Naruto hoped that the plan was working.
Over the past year, his marks at school hadn't been brilliant. Not abysmal, but far from perfect, and sadly, just under his target average. He had a specific choice of course at a specific choice of university, but unless he blitzed his exams in three weeks' time, he could kiss that choice goodbye. Desperate, Naruto knew he would have to start looking for alternative ways of getting into this course, besides marks.
Exploiting the Bonus Points system had been Sasuke's idea. Bonus points worked on the basis that if a traumatic event that may affect one's performance took place just before any examination, that person was entitled to 'consolation' points, so to speak. The simplest way to get such points for Naruto without killing a family member was for him to be involved in a horrific break up – apart from the obvious fact that he and Sasuke had no intention of actually breaking up.
So it was their job for the remainder of their time at school to convince everyone that it was real.
"I see," Tsunade said grimly. "Well, I won't deny that it is unusual, but you may well have foundations for receiving bonus points."
Naruto did his best to look downcast.
*
After half an hour of silent paperwork – which would have been less, had Naruto not been intent on drawing out the process to show his 'stress' – he was finally free, and relieved that he had made it out alive. Once outside, he made sure to shuffle mournfully until he was well out of sight of the school.
He wasn't entirely happy, mind: he knew this charade wouldn't be easy. The prospect of a double life didn't appeal to him, but the slightest slip could screw up his future. Everyone would hear about this break-up by Monday, so this afternoon was potentially his last chance to be seen with Sasuke in public. He intended to make the most of it.
Sasuke messaged Naruto his location, and Naruto finally spotted him lying on his back in the only part of a nearby park not shaded by trees. As he walked closer, he saw that Sasuke's eyes were open, but if he was staring at something, it was not clear what. His eyes were unfocused, so it was hard to tell if he was asleep or awake.
Naruto's test was to wave his hand above Sasuke's face, high at first, but gradually descending until it was inches from making contact. Just when it looked as if Sasuke wouldn't move even if he were slapped in the face, his arm lashed out and he grabbed Naruto by the wrist.
"About time you did something." Naruto grinned. "You looked like the breathing dead."
Sasuke used Naruto's wrist to pull himself upright. His usually-immaculate hair had bits of grass in it. "Cloud watching does that."
"Cloud watching? Why, Shikamaru, I'm sorry – I got you confused with my boyfriend!"
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Don't mock me. He was on to something when he patented the activity."
"No, I think you'll find he was just on something,"
"Oh, it's hilarious because you're implying he takes drugs. Well done."
"So it's okay for you to mock me, then?"
Sasuke pretended to think. "Yes, I'm good with that."
It was this sort of banter that always began their conversations. It was a long-standing tradition between them and they would be horrified the day it was lost. Couples who were only civil to one another and couldn't handle a joke between them were – in Naruto's words – "just retarded."
"So it all went well, I take it?" Sasuke asked.
"Exactly the way you said it would," Naruto answered. "But now the hard part begins."
"It's only three weeks. We've had worse times apart. And besides, we'll still get to see each other."
Naruto looked at him sceptically. "From opposite ends of classrooms, seething with fake rage?"
"Oh yes, I look forward to it," Sasuke said scornfully. "We'll get to see each other, idiot, because I've timetabled the days our houses are free so we can visit each other without being seen."
He produced from his pocket the tiniest piece of paper Naruto had ever seen, barely wide enough for two letters of his untidy scrawl, but on which Sasuke had fit an entire three-week schedule for both of them.
Naruto looked at it closely. "But your house is always free. Why don't we just go there every day?"
"Because no one who's just suffered a bad break up goes out every day," Sasuke said seriously. "You have to effectively appear to be sitting in your room brooding every night. Plus we both need to study."
"Ah, of course, can't forget the study." Naruto laughed, but Sasuke was unamused.
"It wouldn't do any good for anyone if you were to slack off and do worse than usual. Remember, our plan only works if your marks in these exams are consistent with all your other ones."
"Otherwise the bonus points won't help anyway, right." The system didn't mean you automatically got a hundred percent. "Fine, fine."
Naruto leaned in to hug Sasuke, who neither responded nor pulled back. He appeared to have his mind completely elsewhere, but then he usually had that look.
"You should go," he said.
"Huh?"
"There's still one last thing that needs to be done. You have to go home."
Naruto made a face. He knew this would come up eventually. "Are you sure we have to lie to Iruka too? It'd be so much easier if – "
"If the first he hears about it is when the Department of Education calls to confirm? Naruto, you know he has to be included in this."
"But you've told Itachi what's going on. I didn't think family members would be a part of all this."
"Naruto." Sasuke looked at him unsmilingly. "Iruka has to be a part of this because everything has to be worked out through whoever's in charge of you. Adults only trust other adults. And Iruka's a teacher. We can't expect that he'll play along."
Of course, he was right. This discussion had happened before. Lying to authorities didn't bother Naruto in the slightest, but he did feel guilty when it came to his friends and family. Nevertheless, he went over his latest series of lines with Sasuke to make sure this next lie would be told as smoothly as the last.
The time crept on. Naruto became aware with increasing depression that the afternoon was drawing to a close, and their lives would very soon become chaotic performances for three weeks. By Sasuke's schedule, they wouldn't have a secret tryst for over a week, which was devastatingly long. Finally, Sasuke insisted that Naruto had to go home, otherwise there wouldn't be sufficient time to successfully talk to Iruka the way they had planned.
They kissed, their last kiss until next weekend.
"Well, it begins, then," Naruto said, grimacing. "See you on the other side."
*
Iruka, Naruto and Sasuke had both agreed, would be a lot harder to fool than Tsunade. Despite Naruto's frequent visits to the principal's office, Tsunade's relationship with him was still nowhere near a familial one, and Iruka sometimes knew him better than he knew himself. He would have to play on that.
He took a few deep breaths as he approached home. As he entered his house, he wondered if it would be too melodramatic of him to slam the door behind him. He decided it would.
"You're home late," a voice called from the kitchen, at the end of the hallway. Iruka always seemed to have hypersensitive hearing.
"Yeah, I had some – stuff – to work out."
Iruka poked his head out of the kitchen sharply, as Naruto knew he would. He had been just hesitant enough to arouse suspicion.
"Work out? Why? What sort of stuff is going on that needs to be worked out?"
Now for avoidance. "Just school stuff. Nothing major."
"What was it, then?"
Anger. "Nothing! So I'm home a bit late! How does it affect you?"
"Naruto!"
And finally… "Don't! Just don't – I just don't want to have to think about it any more!"
… the crack.
Iruka rushed out of the kitchen and grabbed Naruto by the shoulders, holding him steady. "Naruto, Naruto! Look at me. Did you really think I don't know you well enough to know when you're pretending?"
Oh, the beautiful, beautiful irony, Naruto thought, but he remained mute. His supposedly all-knowing guardian continued.
"You know that I'm never too busy to help you, right? I promise, it'll be better to let it out and open up to me, whatever it is."
It would have been a brilliant moment for Naruto to shed a few tears on command, but he hadn't mastered that particular skill. When he practised, he had a slight tendency to screw up his face in a way that could only be resemblant of someone giving birth.
"S – Sasuke," he said in a choked whisper.
Iruka's eyes widened as he jumped to conclusions. "Has something happened to him?"
Naruto shook his head.
"Did he – do something?"
At this, he looked anywhere but at Iruka's face, which of course told Iruka that the answer was yes.
"He didn't… " Iruka appeared as lost for words as Naruto was trying to act. "You haven't – broken up, have you?"
Naruto allowed his face to screw up, just a little bit. "I need to go," he said quickly, attempting to move, but knowing Iruka would keep him in place.
"No, Naruto!" Iruka's expression darkened, his grip on Naruto's shoulders tightening. "My God… three years, and he – it's impossible. No, of course it's not impossible. Why didn't I do something? I knew an Uchiha could only be bad news! I just knew this would happen."
"What?" Naruto's act slipped slightly. "You knew what?"
Iruka looked worried. "Just that – well, I could never say anything, because you were so happy. I thought nothing was more important than that, but I should have realised… Sasuke is someone you should have never been involved with. He wasn't right for you – he's not right for anybody. I knew right from the beginning that he was going to hurt you, but I hoped against hope. I didn't want to be right. He's the worst type of person."
Naruto blinked, almost forgetting to look upset. Actually, he was in total shock. Iruka – didn't like Sasuke?
"I have to go," he said again, this time actually meaning it, but like any responsible parent whose teenaged child had just experienced a painful break-up with their partner of three years, Iruka refused to let him be on his own.
"No, Naruto. You're staying here with me. I'm not going to make you talk. You don't have to do or say anything if you don't want to, but I'm not letting you be alone right now. You have to know that I'm here for you, and unlike that boy, I always will be."
Iruka said boy with such venom that Naruto winced. Iruka had always seemed so accepting of Sasuke. Could it really have been a lie? This was a decidedly unpleasant thing with which to be confronted.
What other challenges would come up as a result of this break-up? Naruto wasn't sure he wanted to find out.
*