Purring. Lotor was purring and he couldn't help it. Not when that boy was standing there looking delicious. Mouth-watering. Like he usually did when his emperor didn't pay enough attention to him. Lance could hear the purring, he wanted so badly to go over there and touch his lover's chest, feel that rumbling under his fingers, kiss those intoxicating lips. The ex-hero closed his eyes—he had patience—and started remembering.
Lance had pretty good instincts and a very observant mind. He could understand anyone, he could see what they were trying to hide, and he could judge their character. All in a few minutes. He was suspicious by default because of that, but after years of hearing his mother tell him everyone had the right to be trusted until proven contrary, he learned to control his suspicion. Maybe he should not had. While it was easier to make friends that way, he was always at risk of having that trust betrayed, that fiasco with Nyma and the whole adventure with the merfolk were enough proof.
Nevertheless, mama asked him to, so he lived by his mother's words. Not saying anything when a little voice in his head told him Pidge wasn't what he said he was. Not saying anything when that same voice screamed to him how that man was anything but their Shiro, no matter how similar they looked or acted. Not doing anything when Allura decided Lotor was worthy of her love, even if that voice sobbed and cried how that man didn't felt right by her side, how the supposed feelings Lotor had for the princess looked so obviously fake to the paladin's eyes.
That ability made easier for him to see when he was wanted. Like when Pidge smiled softly when he joked about robots, when Hunk made sure he was the first to taste his inventions, when Keith specifically asked him for a sparring session, when Shiro gave him a "good work" pat on the back, when Allura unconsciously thanked him for the distraction his silly flirtation brought with her eyes, when Coran made his eccentrics gestures to tell Lance he was glad for the help with cleaning the castle.
But it also made easier for him to see when he wasn't. Pidge told him to shut up and let her work multiple times when he tried to talk instead of joking. Hunk brushed off his attempts to talk about his thoughts, too focused on whatever he was tinkering with. Keith had a whole organization to choose for a sparring section, he could ask literally anyone, no need to choose. Shiro was colder than before, that man truly wasn't Lance's hero and the boy himself decided to avoid him. Allura was rejecting him more harshly, he had the suspicion it was because of Lotor. Coran thankfully was still Coran, just busier, always looking ways to excuse himself from any conversation.
Overall, that ability only made him notice quicker when he wasn't needed. And it hurt.
Another skill he had was acting. He was very good at it, so it was quite easy for him to put on a happy mask and let things happen. Because if he wasn't needed, it was one less need his teammates would have. It was one less weakness to drag them down. Because if he wasn't needed, he wasn't important. If he wasn't important, anything could happen to him and they wouldn't crumble.
So Lance let the half-truth do its thing, let they believe everything was alright and the he was not hurting.
Lance hated Lotor for some time. First because of suspicion, then because of Allura. Lotor did not look right on the princess side. He seemed so bored every time she turned her back, as if he couldn't wait for Coran to take her away to do something in the depths of the Castle of Lions. No matter how much he smiled and how sweet his words were, there was no interest in his eyes. Maybe for the information Allura had, never for Allura. Of course, the others thought it was jealousy when Lance tried to talk about it. It wasn't, but they couldn't see more than their eyes and pre-made conclusions let them.
When Lotor started helping around, Lance was even more suspicious. Part of him was worried about his family, other part of him was worried they would replace him with the alien. A small part of him asked him if he really could call them family. Lance ignored that last part like the team ignored him. Lotor gained Pidge and Hunk's trust first, tech and food, no surprise there. Coran and Shiro were a more tricky, both men already familiar with war and fighting for survival. Ironically, that was exactly what made them fall for Lotor's charms. Sympathy of someone who has been watching it all directly, the paladin guessed.
Allura was already a lost cause. Jealousy and suspicion accompanied the Cuban. He didn't say anything—she wouldn't listen—, of course, she was free to give her heart to anyone, even if said bastard had no interest in it. Lance kept an eye on them anyway, he didn't want her to hurt—he understood of heartbreak a little too much—when his suspicions were proved right.
Lance was very distant from the galra prince and was determined on staying that way.
Sadly, Lotor didn't had the same idea. One night, while Lance was trying to relax and not cry by remembering his family on the pool, the alien decided to approach. The paladin recognized his footsteps; he had decorated the sound of the footsteps of each of the castle's inhabitants. To pass the time, he liked to close his eyes and try to guess who is going where. Lance could even hear the mice going around inside the castle's walls.
Lance had nowhere to run, considering the prince's footsteps, he had stopped in the way of the door. When the other took too long to talk, the boy decided to take matters on his own hands.
"And what do you want, prince?"
"Good night, paladin. Why are you here at this hour?"
"None of your business."
Hostility was a useful shield, the paladin reminded himself. He wished nothing more than to be alone, and was considering telling the man some lie about Allura needing comforting at night, anything really, to make him leave. Allura would be please anyways to see her supposed suitor again.
"It must be hard for you, paladin. To do so much and be so little recognized, I mean."
Blue eyes snapped open, staring at the white-haired alien. Full attention. Lotor was searching for something, Lance could see easily. Easily. Lotor wanted the boy to see it. To see his intentions. To see him. For a moment, the hero's lungs couldn't held any air.
"Have Allura ever thanked you for your attempts of cheering her up? Or have Shiro ever told you how well you do on missions? Have Pidge commented on your intelligence at least once? Have Hunk offered a hug after a rough day?"
His breath quickened. No, Allura hadn't. He wasn't even sure he had actually cheered her up. No, Shiro hadn't. He saw the paladin congratulate Pidge and Hunk though. No, Pidge hadn't. He was pretty sure she actually called him dumb at one point. No, Hunk hadn't. He saw Coran gain one, though.
"Shut up…"
"Have Keith told you how much he cares?"
No, Keith didn't. He hadn't seen the other boy for a long time. Not because he didn't try to, it is difficult to make a knot when one end is not there.
"Shut up."
"Have any of them remembered you of how much you're necessary?"
No, they didn't. He wasn't.
"Shut up!"
Rage. Tears. There was that small part of him, the voice questioning his team, the voice harshly asking him if he really could call them his family. In a few words, Lotor gave that voice enough strength to scream those questions. Lance couldn't ignore them anymore, he couldn't lie anymore. He was so tired. He was so hurt.
"I don't need you to rub salt in it."
He was so tired of hurting.
"I'm not rubbing anything in your injuries, paladin. I am truly concerned about the neglect you seem to suffer."
"Why?" Voice wavering, he was cracking more. Lotor should have felt pleased, but he didn't and that puzzled the human. Why did that bastard look so angered? And why that anger wasn't directed him?
Why was Lotor letting Lance see him so thoroughly? Why was he being so sincere? Why Lance could see every truth that came out of those lips?
"You, paladin… Lance." Said boy widened his eyes, tears falling on the pool. The galra looked ready to destroy something. "Lance, I see you as someone of unspeakable value." Truth. "I see you as a jewel, a rare and unequaled jewel." Also a truth. "I just want to be close to you and… Bask in this otherworldly feeling you bring." Half-truth, but instead of sounding the suspicion alarms, it made the Cuban's heart jump. It was a half-truth told with no harmful intention. Why?
Silence took place for a few minutes. The man turned to leave; probably thinking the paladin rejected him. Said paladin panicked for a second. He didn't want to be alone. Swimming to the edge, Lance called for the alien, surprised by his own voice. It sounded so hurt, so small, so unsure. So different from the usual joyful tone. So distant from the confident tone he always tried to give it.
"What feelings?"
Lotor didn't turn, but did he want to. The boy could see it. Could see the why too. In that moment, the Cuban boy had total power over the prince. Power given willingly. That man was giving one of his most prized possessions, his very own heart, to a mere human. A mere human that could destroy him with some few sentences. A mere human who had detested him from the very beginning. A mere human.
"I love you." Truth.
A gasp left his lips.
"Why?"
He had to know.
"You are you, I need no other reason." Truth.
Leaving the pool, he stood right behind the man confessing to him.
"I don't believe you."
A heartbeat skipped. He couldn't believe himself either. He couldn't believe how much he wanted to give the man a chance.
"Let me make you believe, then." Proposal.
A slow breath intake. There was so much in the man's voice. Made his head spin. Made his heart full.
"Is that what you want?"
A love struck sigh came from the prince. Lance knew those very well.
"More than anything." Truth.
A hand touching Lotor's back hesitantly. At least his heart wasn't the only one beating a samba.
"I am very broken."
A warning, an insecurity, a shameful admission.
"So am I." Truth.
A tired chuckle left his lips. He was so tired of hurting; healing seemed somewhat impossible. He was so tired of hurting, a bit more pain wouldn't change that if things didn't work.
"You better not let me forget you love me, Lotor."
A plead.
"I'll remind you every minute we have together, my beloved jewel."
Hugging the prince, Lance felt appreciated. Safe. Warm. Lotor was making him feel like a rarity. He felt needed. And he loved it. The galra arms were rapidly taking first place in his list of safe places to be. Lance didn't want to let go.
They decided to keep it a secret to the others; they would have time to tell them after everything was settled. Lance was floating in a cloud of bliss. He still could not believe that alien was his. His. Lotor was his. Lotor wanted him. Lotor needed him. Lotor chose him. Lotor was his. He was Lotor's. All the secret smiles, all the playful looks, all the insinuating puns. The jealousy had changed; Allura was the one too close, the one being too touchy, the one being too friendly. She looked wrong by Lotor's side. Lance was possessive, he never denied himself of that knowledge, jealousy flaring when someone else stayed too close for too long. The prince seemed to have no problem with that. Good, Lance wasn't ready to share his man with anyone.
They took small steps, Lance was still cautious. As people with broken hearts are. He opened up little by little; glad the prince was willing to wait for him even when Lance could see how much said prince wanted to pry. Lotor was willing to stay by his side and wait for him. Lotor was willing to open up to him. Why wouldn't he? Lotor needed him. Lotor loved him. Him. Not Allura. Lance. Lotor loved Lance and had no shame on showing how much. They opened completely to each other, they bonded so strongly they could feel each change of emotions the other had. They could understand each other more than the universe in its vastness could.
Lotor needed him. Lotor loved him.
Moreover, it took some time, but in the end, Lance could confidently say he needed Lotor too. He loved Lotor too.
"Loyalty, my universe, is not only that should be mutual, it should be earned."
"I trust them with my life."
"Would they do the same?"
Silence. They wouldn't because they didn't need him. They had each other. They could go on without him.
"I would. I would give you a gun and let you make the decision; my life is yours to take."
"Spend it with me; that would be enough."
"As you wish, my pretty."
He couldn't let Lotor sleep before telling him one more truth.
"My life is yours to keep."
"I will. Until this universe and the next are no more."
The first kiss came after a particularly tiring mission. Lotor didn't waste no time, he was suddenly on his paladin's room, giving the boy the kiss of their lives. And the nigh of their lives. Lance looked at him with so much affection, so much pride, so much desire. Lance touched him with so much reverence, so much consideration, so much care. Lance whispering "I love you" and so many sweet words with so much need in his voice was something he was easily addicted to. Lotor prayed to whatever deity—human, galra and altean—to not let him wake up and see it was all a dream, he begged the universe to take pity in his lovesick heart and let him be with his lover, his boy.
It wasn't. Lance woke up feeling warm and content, the smile on his beloved's face enough to fill his now fixed heart with so much adoration it overflowed in the form of warm happy tears.
The loud purr of his emperor made Lance get out of his daydreams. He knew that face, closed eyes and sweet smile, Lotor was remembering good things.
"What are you thinking about to smile do fondly, my emperor?"
Lotor opened his eyes to stare at him. With an arm, he brought Lance closer until he had the human sitting in his lap. The man did not waste time on snuggling in his lover's neck.
"You, my precious jewel."
"Yeah?"
"And the faces of Voltron when you betrayed them." A sly smile lazily formed on Lance's face. His handsome leader looked sinfully good when smirking.
"You can't betray someone you're not loyal to, my everything."
If someone doesn't need you, you shouldn't need that someone; it'll lead only to heartbreak. With a long kiss, Lance thanked the deities it only took him eighteen years of his life to find someone who needed him.