A/N: LONG LIVE THE REQUEST YEARS! Isn't that better than just one measly year, hmm? And the requests just keep POURING IN! One in particular struck a cord, among others.
This was a challenge from Akren Alumni. Don't believe me? Here's the word-for-word:
I CHALLANGE YOU and with your fav variation of naruto he would love 2 of these girls...I CHALLANGE YOU TO GET NARUTO TO FIGHT FATE TIME AND EVEN DEATH ITSELF for the ever loveable and sorrowful tale of max caulfield and chloe price...watch a playthrough of life is strange because its an amazing game but the whole time i wish i could rip open the screen and blow some heads off for these 2 adorable ladies and a bunch of memorable other characters that just deserve better...that and i think you will just have such pleasure with mr jefferson...this man could rival the primeminister from akame ga kill on being a truly vile and evil and inhumane amalgamation of hate... just think on it or watch a lets play of this game the ending of the game is arguably the cruelest part...i admit i chose the easy ending after having a near perfect playthough i choose to be selfish but i wanna see what you can do with this plus i dunno i just lost 3 friends to a car accident and life is just bearing down on me and i figured if your taking requests you might like this one anyways glad your still around dude CHEERS now im off to sleep...
...HAPPY SOON-TO-BE FALL TO YOU ALL!
LIFE IS RAMEN! This chapter is meant to be silly, so don't think too much, neh?
"There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange mixed affair we call life when a man takes his whole universe for a vast practical joke.
~Herman Mellville.
Life is Ramen
Life is Ramen.
Ramen is love, ramen is life, ramen is the food of the gods! All hail ramen! Any who dare claim otherwise shall be sacrificed on the altar of the Log!
Ahem.
Sorry.
Had to get that out of my system.
Ramen withdrawal's a pain in the ass.
Now, I'm sure you're wondering how I managed to blunder my way into this particular mess. Simple. I screwed up. I done goofed, blundered, fucked the duck, however you want to put it. I made a mistake and that mistake cost me a DAMN sight more than I was willing to wager. Now I know what you're all thinking, "Haven't you learned your lesson after last time?" but there WAS no last time! This is the first time I've honestly messed with a deity that could kick my ass seven-ways-to-sunday as well ass open rifts to different dimensions and universes.
So, yeah. In short, I got my cocky little ass kicked.
And that was WITH pseudo-god powers!
To be fair, I'm somewhat certain she was trying to kill me when she blew a hole in my chest and tossed me out of this dimension. Key word being trying. Turns out pseudo-god powers make you hard to kill. Or maybe that was her way of defeating me? Toss me into some universe where nobody can use chakra and leave me there to rot? If that was actually Kaguya's plan then I've got to hand it to the bitch. She's pretty damn clever.
Ohhh, and you've noticed the cursing. Why, you ask?
Simple.
I've been stuck in this backwater universe for a fucking WEEK.
With very little chakra!
YOU try mending a hole in your chest and tell me how you feel afterward, OI!
I used almost all of it just to heal myself in the first place! Do you have any idea what that does to a man's mind, huh?! Add to that the fact that I've never been particularly good at anything resembling seals, so I have no idea how to get back. Which means all my friends, teammates, and by definition my WORLD are probably dead all because I should've DODGED that last attack. Which makes a man think. Somewhere, somewhen in another universe, I guess you could say another me actually took her out.
Hell, I probably MARRIED her in one of them!
Multiverse theory is a bitch.
If ever there was a reason for a man to drink, you've got a damn good one right there!
As to the rest, when and how, well...I have one thing to say in that regard:
Do.
Not.
Piss.
Off.
A.
GODDESS!
Also, I would land in Oregon!
WELCOME TO THE RICE FIELDS MOTHERFUCKER!
(...?...)
"Oh, fuck me bloody!"
Naruto swore viciously as he stalked across the street, trying his utmost to avoid attention in spite of his temper. Of course, the stream of vitriol flowing from his mouth almost guaranteed that he would be the highlight of anyone's afternoon. After all how could you miss a young man wearing a tattered orange-black jumpsuit and cussing like a sailor? Considering said man was presently soaking wet and looking as though he were all of an instant from ripping someone's head off and you had a rather familiar portrait.
His plight was only made all the worse by the fact that he'd failed to find his way back to the Elemental Nations.
Again.
So yes, he was having a bad time.
Nearly seven days had passed since he'd first found himself in this god-forsaken hell. Two of those had been spent in a comatose state as Kurama struggled to keep him alive. Another, in a state of severe depression as he realized just how monumentally screwed he was. The remaining four found themselves wasted on futile efforts to undo whatever Kaguya had done to trap him here in the first place alongside fuinjutsu-of which he admittedly knew precious little in regards to-in a desperate attempt to get himself out of this world and fine a way home.
Fuck fate and damn destiny!
He was getting out of here!
That had been the plan when he'd started working with seals. He'd seen Jiraiya do something similar once, though admittedly on a much smaller scale, and as it was his only known way of getting home, Naruto Uzumaki had thrown himself into the task with the same singular determination that defined his shinobi career. And remarkably, he produced results. If you could call messing with the space-time-continuum a result. Or that odd incident where he accidentally went back in time and met himself.
What followed was a series of spectacular failures and a single, solitary success.
A space-time seal.
Unfortunately, said success had the annoying habit of depositing him in Arcadia Bay rather than back in the Elemental Nations.
No matter when and how he used the damn thing it always dropped him in the water!
Always!
He could be a mile away and it STILL dropped him right back in the bay!
What the hell was keeping him here?!
How the hell was he supposed to figure this shit out, oi?! Arcadia Bay had a nice ring to it, but that falling into it day after day was where he drew the line! If something or someone was drawing him back here, he just had to find out what it was and then cut it out before-
"ExcusemepardonmecomingTHROUGH!"
That was all Naruto heard before his world went sideways; say what you would about the people in this universe but they could be very loud when they wanted to. With his attention diverted, the bedraggled blond didn't even notice identity of the unfortunate passerby until they cannoned into him from the side. Then they both went down in a tangle of arms and legs and the blond soon found he had other things to worry about. With an annoyed grunt he pushed the newcomer off. Ordinarily that wouldn't have bothered him overmuch. But a week of anxiety and stress had taken their toll and a flash of white in his peripherals sent his paranoia screaming into overdrive, thoughts caroming wildly in his head.
Kaguya?!
What was going on here?!
So she'd come for him, had she?!
Had she sent someone to finish the job?!
He wouldn't go down with a fight, damn her!
Old instincts reared their heads and Naruto kicked out with both feet, instantly righting himself and falling into a pointed crouch, reaching for a knife he knew wasn't there. Rage was the fuel that drove his hand forward, his fingers fisting around the hem of his enemy's jacket even as his other hand rose for what would surely be a crippling blow. He expected to find himself face to face with a smug goddess, a wicked woman who'd taken everything from him and now finally come to claim his life.
Instead he found himself face to face with a startled brunette, her brown eyes wide with shock.
She was wearing white shirt.
"Um...could you let go?"
Oops.
Naruto sweatdropped.
'That's it. I'm losing my mind.'
He dropped her and she landed on her rear, narrowly avoiding crashing into the sidewalk.
"Look, I'm sorry, miss...
"Max." the girl supplied, groaning quietly. "Jeez, what are you made of, bricks or something? It felt like running into a wall!"
"I tend to get that alot-
Naruto paused.
Frowned.
There was something...off about her.
One of the few gifts he'd gained since coming to this idiot-ridden world involved sensing chakra. Some wires must've crossed somewhere in the back of his brain; because he could see it in just about every living thing, human or otherwise. And what he'd seen thus far was rather...disturbing. Not because they had some small semblance of energy, but that it existed at all. Most had just enough to live on-yet not so much as to actually be able to consciously exert through their will.
Not Max Caulfield.
She had chakra for days.
If he didn't know better he might think this was a distant future of some sort. A future where shinobi and the concept of chakra were both eventually forgotten. But this girl seemed to be the exception to that. Which meant that this might be an alternate universe of another Naruto which was related to another alternate timeline, which meant-
Ow.
Headache!
Shaking off the migraine, the blond returned his attention the girl he'd inadvertantly knocked down. The coils where there, strong and healthy, which beggared the question; how the hell? She sure as hell didn't look like any ninja he'd seen. Even as he looked on it seemed to shift and shy away from his attention, wavering while he looked on.
As if she hadn't awakened it yet.
Old instincts kicked in.
"Yo." he waved. "Mind telling me who the hell you are and why you have chakra?"
Max blinked.
...what the hell is chakra?"
"Okay, that's it. You're coming with me, right now!"
Max balked as a strong arm closed around her wrist, yanking her to her feet.
"Hey, stop! Where are you taking me?!"
"Walk now, talk later!"
"Hey!"
And so began a rather odd, unorthodox friendship.
Some say life is strange.
Yet the world can be amazing when you're slightly strange. Or very strange. Yet compared to what? We are all a little wierd and life's a little weird and when we find someoen whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutal weirdness and call it love. Life is about change. Sometimes its painful, sometimes its beautiful, and other times, its outright silly. Most of the time? Its both.
So, yes. Life is Strange.
Very strange indeed.
But for Naruto...
...Life is Ramen.
A/N: ...Did I just do that? Yup, I reckon I did. There's a line in there from Doctor Seuss. I thought it fit =D
We'll have to see if Naruto's chakra lasts in this world. I WAS going to do a "Not Going Home" version of this, but to be honest I'm not certain if I want to, seeing as Naruto would literally kick the crap out of everyone in that fic. Eh, I might do that on a lark, see what happens. This one though, this'll be a touch more serious one, with bits of humor and wild silliness, because you can only guess what a crazed, sarcastic blond can do when he's let loose.
Make of this what you will!
So...in the immortal words of Atlas...
...Review...Would Ya Kindly? And of course, enjoy the preview!
(Preview)
Chloe Price balked.
...did you just catch that shit? With your teeth?"
Naruto grinned around the bullet.
Then he bit down.
Hard.
The lead projectile shattered between his molars, ground to little more than metal shavings. Shavings he promptly choked on and spat out, ruining the image. In that moment all was forgiven; the fact that she'd shot at him by accident ignored as easily as the flush rising to her face.
"What can I say?" he grinned. "I'm fucking awesome."
...yeah, you're really not." she giggled.
"Let me have my moment, oi!"
R&R! =D