This was a plot bunny that kind of hit me up-side the head when I least expected it. I had originally planned to sit down and finish up Chapter 6 of ITTtL, but… the plot bunny demanded recognition first. Apologies if I goofed on any story points, but I haven't played through the whole game in a while so my memory may be a tad bit fuzzy on some points.
Disclaimer- Final Fantasy X and X-2 are owned by Square Enix and its affiliates.
His Anniversary
As soon as her feet touched the ground she set started running, boots digging into the hard ground of Macalania Woods. Her remaining guardians had stayed on Cid's airship to patiently await her return, knowing she needed to do this herself. Darting past the great towering trees, she gave no mind to her safety. Lulu had taught her some black magic to balance her natural healing skills, and she simply blasted any fiends foolish enough to cross her path.
It was the day after they had killed Sin, the day after Sir Auron had finally let himself rest, and the day after he had left her.
But she refused to believe he was gone, would not accept he was gone. It was a trick, a lie, something that could not have happened. As she stumbled on a protruding tree root and almost fell to the ground she let out a sob, though no tears accompanied the sound. She had already spent all of her tears for now, and could only take a gasping breath and keep running in spite of the pain in her ankle.
Reaching the spring where they had rested after fleeing Bevelle, she slowed to a walk, gulping down ragged breaths of air as she felt the first pang of fear.
'What if he's not here either? What if…? No, he has to be here. If he's anywhere, he's here.' Chanting this last line to herself like a prayer from above, Yuna took the last step that would take her around a large tree and give her a clear view of the spring.
It was empty. The gibbous moon shimmered on its surface, the forest's crystals shone under its pale light, and crickets quietly chirped their nightly melody, but there was no sign of him here.
Dragging her feet to the shore, Yuna dropped to the ground, uncaring of the mud now splattered over her clothes or the searing pain from her ankle at being treated so. Pulling her knees up under her chin, she looked up at the stars as they flickered in the sky, like miniature pyreflies. He had loved looking at the stars, she remembered. One last idea popped onto her head, and she slowly raised a dirty hand to her lips. The piercing whistle rang through the woods and echoed back to her from the ring of trees on the oppostie side of the spring. She paused, looking around wildly for any flash of a yellow shirt or of piercing blue eyes.
She had thought she had no tears left to give, thought they had all flowed down her cheeks and been soaked into the ground of Spira as she had looked for him, all day today; but now, as she sat gazing at the last place where she had so desperately hoped he would be, they broke once again through her cracked and battered dam, and flowed to the ground.
Lowering her forehead to touch her knees, Yuna let herself go, weeping, screaming, and keening until her voice was raw and her cheeks stung from all the salt water. Only the crickets heard her, and they stopped their chirping as if in sympathy to such heartbroken grief.
When she could do no more than to take in shuddering breaths she finally looked up, bloodshot eyes staring past the scenery before her. Putting her hands on the ground under her, she pushed herself onto her knees, then shakily to her feet. She wrapped her arms around herself, imagining the way he last held her before he jumped off the ship. She clung to that memory, and whispered something in a hoarse voice before turning away and slowly walking away.
"I'll come back every year on this day, until the day I bring you back here with me… because I love you."
One Year Later…
Not wanting to take the long way by ship and foot, she had begged her Uncle Cid to come give her a lift to the woods. While surprised- she had refused to go on his ship or even leave Besaid before this- he had quickly granted her request, and had dropped her off at the outskirts of the forest near O'aka's shop.
Lulu and Wakka has stayed in Besaid, their wedding coming up in a month and swamped with preparations. But they knew the date, and what she was doing. They had only given her hugs and in Lulu's case a gentle kiss on the cheek before she boarded the ship.
Rikku had tried to come with her at first, but when she saw Yuna's expression before the High Summoner left the ship changed her mind. For a few minutes Rikku had quietly watched her cousin walk away from her, unnaturally subdued.
She didn't run this time, the gun she had recently tried learning to shoot helped take care of the fiends as well as a few Firas had last time. As she walked slowly through the eerily silent woods she noted diffrences from her journey. Macalania Temple sunk into the icy depths of its lake only six months ago, yet she could already see faint signs of its loss in the forest. Younger trees were starting to brown and wilt, as some of the crystals had cracked and crumbled on the sides of the path. At this rate the forest would fade away within a few years, and Yuna's heart clenched that this place would no longer be here. She needed it to be here, to cling to like she clung to her memories.
It quickened her steps, and in good time she was once again at the spring. Slowly approaching the shore she opened a small pack she had brought with her from the ship. She reached the waters edge as it lapped at the bank, and delicately set down a bundle of flowers she had picked from the Moonflow. It would be night in a little under an hour, and she would wait until the flowers gave off their signature show of pyreflies before leaving. He had so wished to see the flowers as they did this, so she thought it would be fitting to bring some with her.
Settling herself on the ground, she thought over what had happened in the last year. She found herself voicing it aloud, her voice quietly echoing back against the huge gnarled trunks of the trees surrounding the spring.
"I've mostly been spending my time in the temple. As High Summoner the people enjoy coming to me and telling me about their lives, what they lost and what was saved, and also what has been rebuilt. I like the last part the most, knowing how the people of Spira have started recovering from the scars Sin left on us. It makes me feel as if somehow it was all worth it, all the pain, and hardship. I knew it was worth it from the start, I was always willing to die for the people of Spira if it would give them this peace even if only for a little bit, but… it still hurts. Part of me wishes that I had died in that final battle, like all the High Summoners before me. There's really nothing for me to do now, and while I enjoy being able to live my own life something is missing." The sun's waning light finally slid out of the clearing, and the first pyreflies gracefully floated out of the bundle of flowers floating on the surface of the water.
Until this point Yuna had been smiling, the fake plastered smile of the summoner. As the pyreflies danced in the air before her she let the mask slip away, and the lingering sorrow she still felt even after a year was clear on her face.
"You're missing." She whispered it so softly not even the trees could catch the sound to throw the harsh truth back at her. Closing her eyes to push back the first prick of tears, something she hadn't felt since last year at this same place, she continued her thought.
"You were the one who finally let me dream of living, of having a life where I could do as I pleased and be myself. But, because of that, I always imagined you in that life. You were there, beside me. And as I let myself run away with this dream of mind, I imagined us getting married, having beautiful children. We would have a little boy and a little girl. The boy would have my eyes, but look just like you besides that. I would call him Braska, in memory of my father, and you would agree. The little girl would be named Ailsa, and she would be so adorable, with her brown hair up in pigtails and her shining yes so cheerful like yours, like the sky on the sunniest day." A tear finally slipped through her eyelids and slid down her cheek, unchecked.
"We would be so happy." She opened her eyes and reached out a hand as if to grab a pyrefly as it weaved its way though the cool night air by her hand. She let it drop as she continued talking, a voice that had been so full of wishes and hope now bitter and full of pain.
"But now, here I am, alone. I don't blame you, I could never blame you. It's not your fault. It's mine, for being so childish and silly. I knew my destiny, and I let myself get carried away with selfish dreams that could never be. However, every time I think of that life, and compare it to what I have now, my life seems so stale and ugly. You were the sun that kept all of us bright and alive on our journey, and now that you're gone everything is so much darker and bleak."
Standing up, she painstakingly imagined his face, the love in his eyes as he had kissed her that moonlit night. She smiled softly even through the tears gently traveling down her face and told him about one more thing that had happened this year.
"I've been courted so many times this last year, men who want to be the husband of the High Summoner. But I won't accept any of them. The only one I'll ever willingly marry is you. So, until I bring you here with me one day, I'll keep coming here."
She turned away and left the clearing with her head bowed, her last words echoing over the water.
"Because I love you."
The Next Year…
Jogging over to the water at the edge of the spring, Yuna crouched down and gently lowered her armful of pyreflies into the water. She had timed it just right this year, the pyreflies beginning to swirl around her still lowered hands as she pulled them away.
Standing up, she took a step back and took a deep breath.
"I can't stay too long this year, but if everything happens as I hope it will, the next time it will be the last. Because you'll be right beside me." She shook her head and smiled.
"I guess I should explain. About five months after I visited you last year Rikku came and showed me a sphere. It was you, I think. So, I've been traveling with her and my other cousin, Brother, on their airship. We do sphere-hunting on the side, but the only reason I've really joined is that I can try to find any other spheres of you, and if I do see if I can't find you and bring you back to me." Watching the pyreflies swirl around her, she noted that the Guado hiding in the woods had respectfully left the area at her arrival. She felt bad that they had had to leave their home, but there was really nothing she could do. Trommel felt it was their way of compensating for all the pain they had done Spira, and she couldn't convince him otherwise.
But he didn't need to know about all the flaws in their Calm. Taking a deep breath, she smiled softly at the flowers.
"I've started to get over the pain, a little bit. I can smile, sometimes. You can't see, but I've gotten a makeover from Rikku." She glanced down at her outfit and flushed at how revealing Rikku had made it. "It helps me try to distance myself from the heartbroken girl who lost the man she loved. Instead, I try to think of myself as Sphere Hunter Yuna, member of the Gullwings. Oh, that's what Rikku and Brother call us by the way." Glancing behind her, she knew that the communicator she had left down the path would soon be filled with the sounds of Brother screeching for her. She appreciated his concern, but hoped Paine or Buddy might have knocked him unconscious like they sometimes did to give her some more time.
"About the sphere. If it is you, then maybe you're still here, somewhere in Spira. I try not to think that if you were here you would have come back to me already, but... maybe you can't. I refuse to think you're really gone. I don't go to Guadosalam, because if I saw you there, hovering in front of me but too far away for me touch, it would kill me again, you know?" She smile faltered, but unlike the first two times she had come here the tears didn't come. She refused to cry again here unless they were tears of joy.
"I still miss you, and my life is still missing something without you, but hopefully by traveling down this path I will find some way to bring you back to me." Settling an expression of determination over her face, Yuna turned away, her half-skirt swinging around her legs with the abrupt motion.
"I will find some way to bring you back to me… because I love you."
