Avengers Christmas Special
New York was under a deep snow. All was in peace and in silence. Everyone was inside their houses. The temperature was -3°C.
But that doesn't mean the Avengers weren't having fun.
The Avengers Tower was illuminated from top to bottom. The music volume was high and the guys were partying a lot.
Mistletoe, champagne, food and happiness were present in the Tower.
Tony Stark was laughing with Clint Barton, Natasha Romanoff, Steve Rogers and Bruce Banner in a corner. Tony was showing them his new artefact.
"What does it do?" Steve asked.
"This can make everything smaller. I called it The Miniminionlizer".
"Why is the word "minion" on it?" Natasha asked raising an eyebrow.
"Because I like the minions… and they're tiny. That's the purpose of the artefact, so I decided to call it like that".
"Then why not only "Minionlizer?" Clint asked.
"Because the artefact drives you tinier than a minion" Tony smiled.
Steve, Natasha and Clint looked at each other concerned about Tony's answers. Bruce only smiled.
Thor was eating like a pig and drinking like it was the end of the world. Loki was disgusted.
"What?" Thor asked when he realised of Loki's sight.
"You are disgusting, Thor".
"Why?"
"Because you can't eat like a decent person, that's why" Loki said rolling his eyes.
"Bah, you are jealous because you can't eat anything of this amazing midgardian food".
"Please, it looks terrible, it can't be compared with asgardian food".
Loki's stomach growled. He was hungry, but he wouldn't beg for food and less to those avengers.
Actually, Loki couldn't understand why he was there. He preferred to stay in his cell, in Asgard, than to be chained to that uncomfortable metal chair.
Maria Hill was having a very funny conversation with James Rhodes and Pepper Potts.
"I'd fancy to drink some water, if you don't mind" Loki sighed. Water wasn't exactly midgardian food…
"Sure, I'll give you a glass of water" Thor smiled.
"Hey!" Tony exclaimed. Thor frowned. Loki sighed again. "What are you doing?"
"I'll give water to my brother. Is there a problem?"
By the moment, everyone was in silence, an awkward and tense silence.
"Yes, because you forgot our deal. We agreed that Loki wouldn't have his muzzle but aye the handcuffs".
"He's thirsty, Stark. Don't be that heart…"
"Heartless? No, my friend. The only heartless here is your brother, not me".
Pepper stroked Tony's arm and smiled with tenderness.
"It's Christmas, honey. Don't be that cold. I know Loki is not precisely a candy, but at least let him drink something".
Tony sighed. Then, an idea came to his mind.
"Yes, you are right. I'll be back" Tony ran out of the room and everyone was confused. Loki rolled his eyes again.
When Tony came back, everyone laughed excepting Thor and Loki.
"What the hell is that?" Loki asked with an eyebrow raised.
"This is a Yankees Drinking Helmet. You like helmets so, enjoy". Stark put the helmet on Loki's head and smiled.
"Yankees?" Loki asked.
"Yes, Yankees. A New York baseball team" Tony's smile got bigger. Loki glared at Stark.
After that moment, everybody started to talk again. Loki was sucking the straw noisily on purpose.
"I'd like to know what are we celebrating" Thor said while was eating a triple chocolate Pop-Tart.
"The birth of Jesus Christ, son of God" Natasha answered but a bit skeptical.
"Jesus Christ Godson? I never heard about him" Thor shrugged.
Natasha contained his laugh.
"He's not a simple son of a god. God is God. Not a god. THE God. I think I explained myself well".
The Avengers faces were funny.
"I don't understand. The God? My father is the big god in Universe".
"Well, he's the God of Everything".
"What? He believes he's Allfather? Where does he live? I'd like to have a word with him" Thor said, very angry. Loki shook his head.
This tosser… Loki thought.
"He can't be seen, touched, smelled or felt. Actually, he might be here and we wouldn't know" Natasha explained.
Thor looked terrified.
"Here… now? You have to be kidding… right?"
"Guess so" she shrugged.
Loki smiled in that special way.
Tony was talking with Bruce about their new project when suddenly, a cup of wine fell down.
Every single person was in shock.
"What the hell?" Tony exclaimed. There was no person close to that cup.
"Maybe the wind knocked it" Maria Hill said.
"Or maybe it wasn't in a very good position" Clint said, shrugging.
They didn't give it that much importance for the moment. But Thor was a bit tense.
"Are you alright, brother?" Loki said with his smile.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" He said with a trembling smile.
"Oh, I don't know" Loki said. "But let me tell you this. I don't think it was the wind or that it was in a wrong position. I saw that cup when it fell down. It was in a good place. It was something else" Loki whispered.
Thor opened his eyes wide. Loki smiled.
"For real? I don't know…"
"I know what I saw, brother mine".
"The wind. It was the wind".
"Nah. Is there any window opened?"
Thor looked at every single window. All of them were closed. When Thor looked at Loki again, he raised his eyebrows.
"Told you".
The god of thunder felt tinier in that moment.
The time passed. The alcohol was doing its thing while more they were drinking it. And when they were playing "Guess who I am", the Christmas tree started to fall.
"NO, THE TREE!" Pepper exclaimed.
Steve took the closest tray and threw it to the wall close to the tree. The tray was the bigger enough to resist it for a seconds more. Rhodey was the closest one to the tree and he held it until the rest arrived.
"I don't like this" Thor said.
"C'mon, Big Guy. No big deal" Tony said.
"Guys, look at this" Natasha said while was pointing to the base of the tree.
"Shit!" Clint exclaimed.
"Is the wire coiled to the stem?" Pepper asked.
"Damn, you are right! That's impossible". Tony exclaimed.
"And it still lighting" Bruce said and pointed the lights of the tree with a movement of his head.
"I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T LIKE THIS!" Thor exclaimed and he moved apart from the tree.
"Are you scared?" Maria asked with an eyebrow raised.
"Aren't you?" Thor replied.
In that moment, all the glasses exploded. A noisy scream came out from Thor. Loki had to put his hand on his mouth to not laugh hard.
"OH NO, HE'S HERE. NATASHA YOU WERE RIGHT" Thor exclaimed and he climbed to a sofa. Pepper was about to die because of it.
"Thor, calm down. He doesn't do that kind of things" Natasha tried to explain.
"For fuck's sake!" Tony sighed.
"Thor, relax" Bruce said.
Nick Fury, who was in silence until that moment, gave a signal to Clint.
"But that God is freaking me out" Thor said. "Hey, sorry. I promise I won't discuss anything with you. My bad, just stop breaking things" Thor begged, looking at the ceiling.
Natasha made a perfect imitation of the meme facepalm.
A candle started to levitate and Thor sat when he saw it. The candle was close to the blonde guy when then, Clint took Loki's neck and the candle fell down.
"Oh, he had mercy!" Thor sighed.
"Nah, this idiot was the responsible of everything!" Clint explained. He didn't release Loki yet.
"No kidding" Tony said, very angry.
"Stark. I… can't breathe" Loki barely said.
"Let him" Tony smiled.
"What?" Clint asked, quite confused.
"Let him".
"Please, Clint. He's about to faint!" Thor said.
Clint growled and finally let him breathe. Loki glared at him.
"My cups" Pepper was close to cry. "My couch" she said when looked at Thor. He blushed in response.
Tony took his Miniminionlizer and his smile got bigger.
"So… you like tricks?" He asked to Loki. He didn't replied.
"Tony?" Natasha asked, looking at the Miniminionlizer.
"I do. Test this".
And then, he shot to Loki an electric shock.
"NO!" Thor screamed.
Loki was growling. A few seconds later, he started to shrink. And finally, he was as tiny as a new pencil.
"STARK, WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Loki exclaimed, with a funny voice.
The avengers started to laugh hard, including Maria, James and Nick. But Pepper and Thor were the exception.
"How dare you?" Thor said. He pointed to Stark with his Mjölnir.
"Relax, blondie. He's okay".
"HE IS… WHAT? LOOK AT HIM, HE'S SO TINY!"
"I know" Tony smiled.
"Turn him to his normal size, NOW!"
"Nope, he deserved it".
"I will let you know what YOU DESERVE STARK!"
Another electric shock and then, Thor was in the same size of his brother.
"Damn" Clint said. Bruce nodded. Steve was in shock.
"What the hell, Tony?!" Pepper said.
"What?"
"You can't make people tiny because you want to".
"Yes I can, look how cutie they look".
"Tony, it's not funny. You have to fix them".
"Nope".
"Anthony Stark. It's Christmas and everything must be right. They are not right like that. So, you will fix them right now".
"Or?"
The avengers were totally uncomfortable.
"I won't do your thing" Pepper smiled.
Tony frowned. Then he remembered his thing and opened his eyes wide.
"Hell no!"
And… he made her tiny too.
"TONY, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"
"Shit, I should have created a 'shut up' artefact also. Listen to her voice. Ugh…"
"Tony, you should put that thing down" Natasha said, a bit nervous.
"Nope. I like this. I have a brilliant idea!"
Then he shot to everyone. Maria was close to escape, but Tony could shoot her too.
"Yeah, I'm the best!"
"TONY!" all exclaimed.
"Shh. The noise! Shut up, guys!"
"I'm gonna kill you, Stark!" Clint exclaimed.
"You are so dead!" Natasha said.
"Tony, it's not funny!" Steve said.
"Stark, what the mother fucker shit is this? Stop" Nick said.
"Tony, for your own good. Fix me" Bruce sighed.
"Tony not me, why me?" James and Maria exclaimed.
Stark looked at Loki who was running out of his sight.
"Where are you going?" Tony asked with a smile when he took him.
"Let me go!" Loki exclaimed. He was kicking.
"I can't do that. You are part of my new Christmas ornament. You are the first one".
"WHAT?" all exclaimed.
Tony put Loki, Thor, Pepper, Natasha, Steve, Clint, Bruce, Nick, James and Maria in the tree with a little loop.
"You look amazing, guys. This is the best Christmas ever".
"PUT US DOWN!"
"FIX US!"
Tony was drinking whisky. He was getting used to the shrill voices. Then he seemed sad.
"I'm bored. You are having fun over there".
"If you call this "fun" you are so mad, Stark" Maria said.
"All of this isn't enough to get to that conclusion?" Natasha exclaimed.
"How can you sleep with that guy?" Maria asked to Pepper.
"He's damn good at bed" Pepper smiled. All the guys were disgusted.
"Midgardian women and their midgardian shit" Loki sighed.
"Don't fight guys, I'm coming!"
Tony shot to himself.
"Yeah!" Tony exclaimed when he finished his transformation.
"WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Thor exclaimed.
"I'm bringing the party to you!"
"Every time he says that, start to beg!" Natasha sighed. Steve nodded.
When he finally climbed the tree.
"Damn, that was hard" Stark gasped. He hugged Pepper and kissed her.
"Stark, I have to ask this. And I'm begging for your positive answer" Loki said. "I guess you have a machine or a thing that will fix us when your madness ends… right?"
Tony opened his eyes wide.
"Ehm…"
"TONY!"
The End.
Hi everybody! This is my Christmas special for you! I had this idea a month ago and I started to write… last night.
English is not my native language, so please don't kill me if you see any mistake. I do my best.
I'm uploading it now because I won't have Internet until 27 of December, so-so. I won't be at home so I decided to upload it now so you can enjoy Tony's and my madness.
Gosh, I'm not that good with humour, I think I did it right…
Anyway, Merry Christmas (I know it's 22 of December ;) ) and Happy New Year! We are bringing the party to 2015 :P