"You up for a beer tonight, Detective?"
"Hmmm, maybe another time," she responded, not meeting his gaze.
"It's just one beer. Ryan said Esposito's been lonely since the break up. Lift his spirits, you know? And Steve says that new fall ale you love so much came in this week..." he trailed off, hoping he had her.
"Okay okay, but can I meet you there? I would love to change, and I know how long you can drag out 'one beer,'" she teased, making haphazard quotation marks in the air.
"I knew you'd say yes."
"Don't get cocky, Castle."
He physically bit his tongue to hold off the sexually charged response he felt compelled to speak. He wasn't sure if it was the slight wince of pain or the fact that she knew him so well that betrayed his thoughts.
"Something you want to add?"
"Uhhh nope, see you shortly, Detective."
Three hours and four beers later, Esposito and Ryan had made their exit, leaving Castle and Beckett together in the round booth in the corner.
"Okay so maybe it was more than one beer."
"Three more than one, Castle."
"One plus three equals four," he stated matter-of-factly, bringing a grin to her face. "My my, look at you smiling at the dumbest Castle line ever. Maybe you've had a little too much beer," he teased.
"I am not drunk, Rick. Just feeling...good."
"Maybe we could feel good together then," he blurted out, the beer or the mood-or both-causing him to render his thoughts aloud.
"Okay."
He didn't even have time to sputter out an excuse for his overly forthright words before she delivered that ambiguously terrifying response. They sat there, eyes locked, non-verbally sparring with each other about who would speak the next crucial words.
"Okay?" he tried.
"Okay."
Well shit.
"I need some...air...care to join me?" he asked, reaching out his hand, hoping she would grab it.
"Okay," she agreed, taking his hand and allowing him to lead her out the staff door in the back.
Ten seconds later he had her against the brick wall outside, his arms confining her movement but strategically not touching her. The small area of space suddenly heightened every sense they possessed.
"Okay?" he said, a command and question both at once.
"Feeling good together...like this, but closer," she purred, pulling him to her so that their hip bones were aligned and touching.
"Don't tell me I have been trying so hard for all these years and it only took a few beers," he sighed, leaning his forehead against hers.
"Four years plus four beers is more accurate."
"Kate," he breathed.
"Nothing has to change," she stated confidently.
"Everything will change."
"See that's what I realized. The being together, the working together, none of that has to change. We will still be the same...just more."
"Much more I hope, Kate. So much more."
"Well of course some things will change," she teased, brushing her nose against his, "but I realized we have been together…rather, we are together...in almost every sense that counts." She paused but continued,"I just refused to do the one thing that scared me the most-"
"Acknowledge it," he interrupted.
"Precisely," she said, nearly inaudible.
"I was hoping you would come to realize that eventually," he confessed, bringing his hand up from her arm to push an errant curl out of her face. He smiled at her and continued gently, "Just because you acknowledge it doesn't mean things change. The second you start caring...that's when you begin to have something to lose. And I am so far past just caring about you, Kate."
"Me too."
A breath later she reached her arms around his neck and they both pulled in for a tight, assuring hug. After a few moments he pulled back and grazed his lips to the corner of her mouth gently.
"Shall we share a cab ride home? I would be a bad boyfriend if I didn't make sure my inebriatedgirlfriend got home safely," he pushed, gauging her response. She was silent with no tell on her face.
"Rendered speechless?"
"Not quite," she smirked, "that only happens when..."
She walked off mid-sentence, leaving his rambunctious mind to fill in the details of her allusion.
"Dear God," he gulped.
A/N: Thank you to my beta 14ulysse for the edits and encouragement! Without her, I would never work up the nerve to publish anything. :-P