For Emily [NF]
Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto
The young man faced the gate when he realized something was missing. After returning to the village a week ago, he could finally head home. The actual reason he came back was, in fact, ignored even by himself, and Konoha's investigation did little but detect some remorse. Truth was that if he was going to restore his clan the situation demanded he sought allies. Danzou and the Elders would reach their end, if everything went right. This time his lust for revenge would be less apparent; its success depended on too many factors, and little they could do to rid of him. Due to the fact he had "killed two dangerous criminals" and was the dearest comrade of the village's favorite, the 5th hokage guaranteed his safety. Cringing with some disgust, he remembered how long his old teammates had searched for him despite all he had done. He walked through the threshold. One person in particular he had hurt - not just intentionally.
The blond ran across the road where he caught a glimpse of silvery, spiked hair peering over a book.
"Sensei! is it true? Has he really.."
Kakashi looked up from his very absorbing novel, eyeing the blond boy impassively.
"Are you prepared for disappointment?" his teacher unexpectedly questioned him.
"Why? Is he okay?" Kakashi stood there for a while before answering.
"He is. Maybe you should go visit him, he has currently returned to his residence."
Naruto stood there, not really processing what Kakashi had told him, not sure he could really believe that person was back…and uninjured.
With a thud Kakashi closed his book, putting a hand on his student's shoulder.
"Don't let him get away, Naruto – with anything, that is."
With that his head tipped up to the sky, and a few seconds passed before he continued, "I have to go, see you later" and in a puff of smoke he vanished. Naruto slowly turned around, suddenly feeling alone. Now that the person was back, he did not know how to face him, or what he could say. In that person's absence, Naruto felt like he had been losing purpose, as none of his future goals really concerned him in their essence. The feeling caused by such sudden resolution had only increased his anxiety. No longer did he have any hope of making that person wish to stay...his attempts had failed since the beginning.
The black-haired ninja entered the manor to realize it was absolutely clean. Tsunade must have had it taken care of when he was under interrogation. It still seemed dark, and a cold feeling gripped his heart.
No one is here to wait for me.
"M-my…"
He had not expected this to be so painful; since a child he already was resolved on what his family's destruction necessitated. Why…couldn't he just have the strength he needed? In the past, he had searched for that strength in Konoha. But something there started to change him, deviating his path from revenge. How could he retain his hatred if it was replaced with love? Such feelings tore his mind, afraid to lose the purpose given to his empty life. Itachi had not given him the purpose, the former's death only instigated his ambition even further. What he always wanted…did not matter anymore.
Sakura tapped her fingers impatiently as she watched Sai scribble on the paper in front of him.
"Sai, what's the point of this?"
Sai then took her hand, looking at it. Intrigued, she did not say anything.
"Don't you think you should take care of your nails more? They look like those of a beast."
An irritated flush rose to Sakura's face as she swapped his hand away.
"What! Mind your own business and tell me what you're doing!"
He gave her a blank look and continued writing something in a script she could not decipher. "I'd tell you, but I can't. You'll find out eventually."
Though she felt unsatisfied, this time Sakura decided to let it go.
Later that evening Sakura decided to go to Tsunade. Sai had given her the impression she needed to know something, and the lingering suspicion gave her the feeling it was important. The office door was already open so she entered without knocking. Tsunade had her back to the entrance and the stars were already visible from the large window. From the silence she understood this had to do with one of her teammates.
"Sakura…"
The apprentice straightened up as soon as the 5th hokage uttered her name.
"That boy is back."
Sakura remained deadly silent.
"That's all."
He kicked the post a few more times before taking a rest. The coolness of the evening made his training far more pleasant, especially when feeling this frustrated. It had been a while since he had suffered like this. The weight in his chest became heavier the more and more time passed. He knew he would have to face it sooner or later. His thoughts became more jumbled as he missed the post, so he decided to take a break, wrapping a towel around his bare shoulders when he heard a light knock on the front door. Knowing who it was, he hesitantly began to walk towards the hall.
This was definitely going to be annoying.
The young woman shifted uneasily as she waited for someone to answer. Finally, the door cracked open and a pale face appeared with an impenetrable expression. She seemed surprised it was actually him and immediately preceded to hand him something from her pocket.
"This is yours," she said grabbing his wrist as she placed a light metallic object with a visibly worn-out cloth in his left hand.
"Naruto told me to give it back to you, even if…y-you know, he smiles, but I noticed…"
The young man did not move as the object rest in his hand only thanks to Sakura's support, unsure whether she had anything else to say.
"He wants your acknowledgment more than anyone…despite of that…he promised…"
The black-haired ninja's face became even darker, but his ears strained.
"Out of everyone, he desires your happiness the most."
Not giving her any reply, he turned around and walked back into the hallway, dropping his old headband on a ledge as if he never wanted it. Gone half way, Sakura could hardly see anything but the Uchiha crest of his black kimono.
"He should think of his own happiness, and so should you," he then uttered to her.
"But we're your friends!" she barely gasped.
"Enough. Get it through your heads. There is nothing you can do for me. Nor I for you."
Her lip curled and her arms began to shake. Muttering something in a low voice she turned around to leave.
You're the idiot.
The next day the rumor that the last known descendent of the Uchiha clan had returned having defeated the murderer of the clan, but no one dared to approach Uchiha quarters, except one person.
"What do you want?" The Uchiha glared at the dark-haired boy in front of him who returned a merchandised smile.
"I bring a message from Danzou." He watched Sasuke's eyebrows furrow slightly knowing he had his attention.
"He says whatever your plan is, it's best to drop it, or you will pay the consequences."
A smirk crept on the Uchiha's face, and before Sai could move he was grabbed nonchalantly by the neck.
"Tell that lowlife he'll be in his grave before that can even happen," and with a rough push the young Uchiha left his substitute on his steps without turning back.
He did not know where he was walking, it was just good there was no one around. Konoha had been entirely rebuilt after Pein's destruction, but not much had changed. Tsunade mentioned that when Danzou was temporarily in power, the news of his affiliation with Akatsuki shook his teammates greatly. Though he was no longer apart of the criminal organization, he could still care less about what his teammates thought. He could not be like them.
The river stretched out in front of him as a familiar dock came into view. Walking further down he finally reached the spot where he would often meditate on his thoughts, often gloomy, when he was younger. But there his father had expressed his most meaningful words of acknowledgment towards him…and also formed a bond he decided to break. Leaning over he looked at his reflection, not noticing the presence behind him as he was deep in thought.
"Sasuke."
Hearing his name, he did not dare to move or turn around, but his heart felt like it had. The voice sounded calm, free from any concern. He still did not move, as the shadow he saw next to him came closer. Only then he realized his body was paralyzed stiff, overwhelmed by a suffocated memory of the past.
"What makes us equal?"
Sasuke's hand shot to his sword in response.
"Only like this?"
Sasuke continued to not speak but slowly turned his head around to face his interlocutor. Surprised in not catching any glimpse of orange, he scanned the other's figure from bottom to top, as if he was not really looking till his black eyes were caught by blue ones.
Tranquillity. In Naruto's eyes there was no trace of fear or preoccupation, but he felt something pouring into his. Then all he could see was water everywhere, as if he was immersed in his own tears. During these years he had not cried once until Madara's revelation turned his life into a lie, from the feeling of having lost everything all over again because of his incapability. No voice came out of his throat as he felt like he was suffocating. A few moments passed when Naruto began to move closer towards him.
"S-stay back!"
At the shout of Sasuke's voice Naruto stopped just a meter in front of him. After Sasuke started wavering a bit Naruto closed the distance between them, holding up his shoulder as if to prevent a fall. In a flash a punch flew straight into the blond's face.
Realizing what he had done, he caught a glimpse of Naruto before the latter staggered up, sensing something he recalled once feeling. Standing over Naruto while he impassively wiped his bloody lip and left, Sasuke's chest panged painfully in remembrance of the words he was unable to pronounce that day, when their paths separated under the rain.
I'm sorry.
Weeks passed and he barely saw Naruto except in the presence of Kakashi, Sakura, or various villagers. He started to fully perceive Naruto's forestalling; any form of eye contact was evaded and physical proximity was nil. Other than that the "dumbass" behaved as always. Such avoidance did not give him any illusion of feeling stronger, however.
"How long will you avoid me?"
Naruto turned from his ramen in what looked like disbelief or consternation as Sasuke took a seat next to him. They both were wearing jonin outfits, and he noticed Naruto's leanness had increased. To Sasuke's dismay it was also clear how dispassionately Naruto slurped his ramen after he sat next to him.
"Wasn't that what you wanted?" Naruto remarked in a natural tone as he finished his ramen and got up.
Naruto walked out from Ichiraku and before he reached the other side of the street out of nowhere Sasuke grabbed his arm and yanked him into a desolate corner, not hard to find at that time of night.
"Listen dumbass," Sasuke hissed under his breath enclosing his old teammate against the wall, "You got what you wanted, didn't you? Stop acting like the one who's been disappointed."
Surprised Naruto gave him no reply, his irritation rose.
"What do you want me to do, Sasuke? Suck your cock so you can just scoff at me after?"
With a deft movement he pushed Sasuke off, too taken aback to avoid the body motion.
"We owe each other nothing."
Only minutes after Naruto left Sasuke realized the bitterness of those words. He eventually got up and headed towards the ninja academy. There was nothing he had to do there, but he just needed a walk. Down the moonlit pathway, he saw someone by a tree that had a swing not too far off. His heart skipped a beat when he realized who the figure, slightly slouched against the tree, was. He thought he heard something. He turned away, knowing it was his fault.
It was that night Sasuke realized what their relationship had lost. After all the time Naruto spent chasing him, Sasuke could hardly process the thought. Naruto no longer put his trust in Sasuke. It was so obvious and understandable why, but that did not make it any easier to accept.
When it seemed his self-loathing could not get any worse Sasuke remembered Gaara's observation long ago of how they both had the same eyes full of hatred. The empty house was as silent as ever when he re-entered. For a moment he had a fleeting image that someone would greet him with a smile and open arms, caressing his face…he scowled at the absurdity of such fantasy, for such thoughts were pointless. Feeling more tired than usual he collapsed on his bed without changing into his bedclothes. Trepidation was eating at him; a sensation like guilt that made his heart yearn for revenge made him feel helpless and alone. There was something else he wanted.
The next time Sasuke caught sight of Naruto he was walking from the training grounds, shirtless and sweaty from the sparring session. Mindlessly he followed him, seeing Naruto was not heading home but towards the woods. He ended up near a secluded spring where all the sudden the blond stripped his clothes off and jumped into the water. Overwhelmed with odd curiosity, he cursed at himself as he remained relatively immobile to observe Naruto, until he noticed he was seeing double. Moving closer something aroused his concern even more, the impression…no, he clearly saw himself, or rather, a clone with his unmistakeable resemblance. His breath hitched when he saw Naruto approach it, as if desperately trying to convince himself of his presence. Sasuke's hands began to shake at the realization of what he was witnessing. Only now, he understood how much Naruto had missed him. One time he had reproached Naruto for not knowing what it was like to lose bonds, that they were what made one suffer in the first place…Naruto, having none, must have felt such pain when he left…Sasuke gripped his chest, deep down he always knew Naruto loved him, but he never wanted to accept what that meant. How life's fullest moments can turn into those moments of utter misery…everything that Naruto had wanted and fought for, he wrapped Sasuke into it. Could Sasuke…let himself?
Not long after being evidently unsatisfied with the presence of the Sasuke clone, Naruto got out of the water, seeming forlorn. Also the clone climbed out of the water, and seeing a nearly perfect copy of himself he flustered at the thought of Naruto seeing him in the public baths whenever he did not feeling like preparing his own. Somehow he wished he was that clone…so he could tell Naruto whatever he wanted, without worrying about how much got between them…
It was an idea. A time where Naruto received one of his own "ingenious" pranks would be too good to pass up…but there was also something he wanted to try…perhaps he could use genjutsu in a way Naruto did not realize Sasuke substituted his clone. The plan sounded somewhat difficult, but nothing he could not handle. The possibility that Naruto misplaced his affection for him, making it seem like more…was something he needed to clarify.
So he decided. Approaching very cautiously, he took the opportunity now that Naruto was distracted. A good distance away from his clone, he was reaching for clothes behind a rock, and when the right moment came, Sasuke took the fake one by surprise, trapping it a particular illusion that would keep it put until further notice. Fortunately with all the bushes in the area this operation was not difficult, and his twin hidden quickly before the blond finished dressing.
Naruto seemed surprised (well, it was still "Sasuke" standing there buck naked) when he saw the clone had made was still there.
"Aren't you going to release the jutsu? Seriously, before I feel like punching you," Naruto said a little fidgety, but it seemed as if the clone was not even connected to him. In fact, the eyes seemed set in a different expression from usual, unlike what he was used to. Without noticing he was walking into a large tree, the clone pushed him on it with a sole arm movement. Now entering into his personal space, the imposter was leaning next to Naruto's neck, breathing deeply.
"Do you want to touch me?"
Naruto's jaw almost dropped in disbelief. His clones of Sasuke never talked before! He could consider himself a pro when it came to kagebunshins, but he never applied his "art" seriously enough with mere ordinary copies, that weren't meant to fool an enemy or seduce a man. Not that his clone was not nearly perfect…but art skill aside, what the…
Now the clone slipped his hand down his chest, rubbing it carelessly and slowly down his side before sliding up again, all the sudden inside his jacket…
"Do you want me to touch you?"
Something was definitely wrong here. The scent, the voice, the feeling of it all, it felt so real. He would have forced his clone to cut this bullcrap, but there was something so enthralling about the situation he was too dumbfounded to properly react.
"I do."
Sasuke was actually taken off guard by such a blunt reply, but veiled his surprise with another question.
"How come you don't ask me to then?"
For the first time in what seemed like forever, he heard Naruto laugh.
"Asking Sasuke something like this? I got to be kidding myself."
"Do you want to always stay with me?"
Naruto seemed more affected by this question and rapidly changed expression.
"Enough now. Disappear before I make you," he said solemnly.
Sasuke knew he had hit something, he wanted to continue.
"Why can't you just tell me?"
"What the hell! You're my very own clone, you don't need to ask personal questions!"
"Do you love me?"
And with that Naruto pushed Sasuke away from, who was half expecting a kick in the testicles and therefore was prepared for anything. It would be kind of dumb, however, to hit what he considered a copy of himself.
"I'm leaving. Hope I won't have to deal with some sick memory afterwards," and he turned around as Sasuke continued.
"You should tell him."
After slapping himself, groaning as he furthered away, "Just what I needed! A humiliating conscious in teme's form!" Naruto stormed off.
Okay, so he had played a bit dirty. That dobe made him do the dumbest things. Since when he had time to lose in such trivial matters? He was supposed to be sending communications to Team Hawk! Slightly exasperated, Sasuke decided he had to get over with this so he could concentrate. Tonight.
Naruto felt nervous. No memory of his clone's deviancy occurred to him except that he experienced himself. If anything it was all a blank after he had gone to change his clothes.
Maybe I should go to the doctor (Sakura or Tsunade) for a check-up...but they'll probably laugh at me saying the shock of Sasuke's return has gone to my head.
Naruto felt annoyed at this thought. Why was nothing going as he hoped? Team 7 worked so hard to bring Sasuke back, and they barely even talked between each other unless forced. Their lives seemed unbridgeable. He was unsure what caused him to suffer more, to keep trying as it yielded nothing or to not expect anything at all… Too many thoughts, it was better to go home and sleep than to continue brooding.
When he reached his apartment he encountered the origin of all his problems that day. And always.
"Sasuke! What are you doing here!" Naruto yelled louder than necessary.
"What, you can't see a teammate?"
"Not one whose face I'd rather not see before sleeping!"
"Never thought my face could disturb your sleep."
Naruto raised a quirky eyebrow and walked passed him to proceed to opening his door.
"Well I guess you know now," he replied sarcastically.
As the blond put his key inside the lock, a hand slammed onto the front of the door.
"We need to talk."
"Ohh, really?" Naruto rolled his eyes when he then heard voices coming up the hallway, and he did not want to continue the conversation any longer.
"'Night then," and he opened his door to enter, but suddenly he was pushed in and heard the door abruptly closed behind him. Before Naruto could retort Sasuke whirled him around and slammed him into the back of the door, crushing his body against his. He felt Sasuke's lips press hesitantly against his.
When Naruto registered what was happening, he grabbed Sasuke from behind his head forcing him to come down onto the floor, doing nothing else but rubbing those hands through his hair.
The young Uchiha felt his heart flutter when the blond brought his right hand down to caress his face. How long had it been since someone touched him so gently? Soon he began to feel a bit dizzy, not taking in enough air as Naruto wrapped his tongue over his. His mind shook in surprise as excitement washed all over him, when the blond pulled back, looking a little ruffled and perplexed, his eyes questioning what on earth they were doing. At this point the brunet could not care, he was tired of words - they never needed them anyway.
Sasuke could not describe what he felt for Naruto, all he knew was that he always - secretly - wanted the other to desire him, for Naruto to be only his. This sick feeling…of possession, would probably only hinder his ambitions if he let himself go. The peace of mind he felt with the blond ironically hurt him as well, because Naruto wanted to give Sasuke everything he had…and maybe even more.
"Once, I hated you."
"I did as well."
"Why?"
"Because I wanted you."
The brunet's breath began to ease down a little and he tried, futilely, to conceal his feelings. He never felt worthy of such words, nor did he ever want to admit them, but somehow he had demanded them anyway.
"Someone like me, will never make you happy, Naruto."
"I can take care of myself...and you."
"..dobe…"
His lips wavered over the brunet's, parting them slowly as he sucked on the other's lips.
"N-Naruto.."
"I'll never let you be alone, I promise…"
Sasuke mentally recoiled at how heart-felt those words he knew but never was prepared to hear.
"Mind showing it now?" Sasuke let out before the other could say anymore.
Naruto smirked and sat himself directly above Sasuke's groin.
"I'll see about that," the blond smiled teasingly as he rubbed his rear deliciously against the brunet's growing erection. Trying to seem impassive, Sasuke's hands came slowly down Naruto's back, almost groaning in anticipation while Naruto was already panting in his ear. Feeling increasingly hotter, he sped up his hands guiding the blond's movements. Naruto wrapped his arms tightly behind Sasuke's neck rolling the brunet over so that he was on top and they could frot against each other. He frantically began to pull at his clothes uncovering the golden skin underneath as he watched Sasuke hover over him back and forth, sometimes in such excruciating slowness he felt the forms precisely through the cloth. Sasuke suppressed a moan when Naruto shifted to unzip his black pants, shoving Sasuke's left hand down with his own right one, savoring the friction as they rubbed together. Naruto's face twisted in pleasure when Sasuke squeezed with extra pressure, each time making him swallow hardly. He took his hand out of Naruto's boxers, now slippery with pre-ejaculation fluid, and thrust it easily into his own, having his pants been untied without him realizing, and to reveal himself almost totally. Seeing Naruto's body jerk beneath him, he began rubbing both hands in circles on the other's chest, who was still squirming out of his remaining clothes as he started to tug off Sasuke's shirt.
"Sasu-ke.." he broke out into a low voice, "..I don't know how you want to do this."
Sasuke pulled off the rest of his lower garments and chucked them away, not knowing what they should do either, just wishing to continue touching Naruto's body with his own. Following mere instinct, he crushed their erections together, causing both of their breathes to break into soft sighs. How much had they wanted this? It was not already enough that his body burned entirely for Naruto, when it was not even supposed to? Sasuke did not care for males, but he could not say he really cared for any females in that way either. Both ways that they craved for each other's body did not seem normal. It just seemed inevitable. Naruto already attached his mouth to Sasuke's nipple, licking and sucking it softly while his warm breath ghosted over the brunet's chest. They rocked into each other Naruto wrapped his legs behind Sasuke's back, becoming more painfully erect whenever the heads touched. Sasuke felt close to oblivion each time, gazing into Naruto's half-lidded eyes.
After some twisting they momentarily detached themselves and Naruto sat up. From there Sasuke climbed back over him, rubbing his lower body as lusciously against Naruto as possible, biting lightly into the other's neck making hickies wherever the blond seemed more sensitive. Somehow Sasuke ended up stroking the tip of Naruto's member with his entrance repeatedly, spreading the wetness there - there was something extremely exhilarating about it which he could not understand. The circles became rougher as the urge became more intense that Naruto entered little by little, and by the fifth time Sasuke came down hard enough for him to get in half way, causing his hands to squeeze the brunet's arms in attempt to pace himself. It barely helped feeling his fingers dig into the soft skin of Sasuke's toned body but he just grunted and held quite still.
There was something awkwardly serious about what was happening but Sasuke was not sure why it made him so nervous. Slowly, he started to move up and down on Naruto pulsing erection, his own burning arousal now wrapped in a tanned hand, giving him an occasional stroke that seemed to push Sasuke towards the edge, but not quite. His full attention was on what was penetrating him, Naruto's hollow breaths and sputtered gasps the only thing really distracting him. He felt like he could not back out now, not when they had gotten this close but…it was much more engrossing than he expected; there was nothing he could compare it to in his realm of experience of pleasure or pain. The grip that had been held on him loosened and he felt Naruto's fingers trail down his back with agonizing intensity, causing him to curve back into the blond's chest. Just when he felt like he was going to break apart, a shock of pleasure jolted through him, like a wave down his spine from right there. Sasuke faltered a little before moving off again, this time lashing into Naruto's lap without any warning. Hardly aware of what was happening, Naruto's thrusts met hungrily Sasuke's, losing whatever coherency they had left. Barely able to coordinate his movements, Sasuke could still realize everything and lose track of it all at the same time, the hand caressing his hair, the mouth licking his shoulders, the pre-ejaculate dripping down his abdomen and inner thighs as a thumb teased his slit… A few seconds later, regaining some of his awareness as he leaned back, Naruto quivered at the lust he saw on Sasuke's face, releasing his hand on the other's back and manhood. He started kissing the other earnestly, caving in on him as his hands drifted down to the brunet's sides and pulled him downwards. It all became slightly surreal the moment Naruto was totally bent over him, jamming himself inside over and over again, damp hair hanging over his face while pulling Sasuke's leg's over his shoulders for better entrance. The young Uchiha could feel that the boy was filling him more and more, and he could not turn back. Naruto had broken inside of him, taking everything that made him suffer away.
"Naruto...p-lease…"
"Sasuke…"
"Sto-.."
"I love you so much..!"
Sasuke felt his heart burst.
Some week later, Sasuke left. A mission involving an enemy with highly advanced genjutsu was perfect for him, and he would be finished in no time. His…boyfriend was very reluctant to see him leave especially since it was the first time from when he had returned to the village. They barely said anything to each other, and only just as he was about to leave both of his closest teammates seized him in a backbreaking embrace, telling him to come back soon.
Tch, over-emotional comrades. Sasuke smiled.