A/N: Inspired by the below "rule," this is just a drabble of sorts.

You Can't Kill Me, I Quit (Seifer Rule): The good guys never seem to get the hang of actually arresting or killing the bad guys. Minor villains are always permitted to go free so they can rest up and menace you again later - sometimes five minutes later. Knowing this rule, you can deduce that if you do manage to kill (or force the surrender of) a bad guy, you must be getting near the end of the game. -From the "Grand List of Console Role Playing Game Clichés"

Disclaimer: They belong to Square, if that wasn't obvious.

How to Take a Knight Hostage

"So, he's out cold right?" Zell asked jabbing a foot in the ribcage of the blond male on the floor. They had managed to temporarily defeat Edea, but she had more or less melted through the floor to the room below. Her unconscious knight, the currently out cold Seifer Almasy, had not been transported with her.

"Why don't we tie him up and put him in a closet?" Selphie suggested glancing at the other four teens. Zell seemed up for the idea, Irvine shrugged, Quistis sighed, Rinoa held a hand to her chin, and Squall simply began to walk away. "Hey, Squall…"

"Whatever," the taller brunette called over his shoulder as he headed back towards the elevator.

"So, you're good with the closet idea?" Zell asked already heading towards a conveniently placed pile of rope. Squall turned to look at the younger blond, shook his head, and sighed. "So…" Zell trailed off standing halfway between the pile of rope and Seifer.

"…Just leave him, we need to deal with Edea," Squall replied.

"We can't just leave him Squall. He'll escape and probably cause even more trouble. What if he ends up unearthing some ancient device that starts a near apocalypse?" Quistis asked walking towards the young commander. "Zell, go get that rope, conscious or not, he's coming with us." Zell nodded, almost excitedly dashing towards the pile.

Within three minutes, Zell, with Irvine's help, had bound Seifer's ankles and wrists. As an extra precaution, a sleep spell, and silence was cast on the knight as well.

"Alright, can we go fight Edea now?" Squall asked his companions glancing amongst the group sparing barely a second to glance at his rival. The group nodded and began to make their way to the level below. The journey likely would have taken a lot less time had they been able to take just one trip in the elevator. As it ended up, Selphie and Rinoa rode down with Squall first while Zell, Irvine, Quistis, and a thankfully still unconscious Seifer rode down second.

"Hyne, can we cast Float on him or somethin'? He's frickin' heavy," Zell complained as he and the cowboy dragged Seifer down the hall.

"Sounds good to me," Irvine replied glancing to Quistis as she trailed them. "Course, we could just find a room to stash him for the moment. We're pretty close to where Edea should be, aren't we, Squall?" The younger gun-bladist was about to turn around when he realized they had in fact reached their destination.

"Yeah, Irvine, we're here," Squall replied. A shout of "Finally!" and another of "Good," were followed by the sound of a thud. Squall glanced back to see Zell and Irvine looking sheepishly at Quistis who had her hands on her hips and an authoritative look in her blue eyes. "Well, if that sleep spell didn't knock him unconscious then smacking his head on the floor should've done the job."

"Guys, I realize you're probably angry with him, but don't go cracking his head open," Rinoa scolded kneeling beside her ex-boyfriend. She carefully checked Seifer for injuries and deemed him alright before going back to stand between Selphie and Squall.

"Don't worry, Rinoa, Seifer's head is just like his ego, practically impossible to break," Zell assured with a smile. Rinoa simply crossed her arms and glanced to Squall. The other brunette also stood with his arms crossed and watched as Zell and Irvine dragged Seifer to a nearby closet. The taller blond sunk against the back wall like a discarded marionette. "Alright, let's go get this done," Zell said hopping up to the entryway where Squall, Selphie, and Rinoa stood.

Irvine shut the door of the closet just after Quistis checked over their captive to ensure he truly wasn't injured and would remain asleep. The six teens then finally proceeded into the auditorium of Galbadia Garden to face their former Matron.


After nearly an hour of fighting, a float spell to transport a heavy captive, and five potions later, the group made it back to Balamb Garden. A comatose Rinoa was taken to the infirmary, while Seifer was placed in a one of the more high-tech detention rooms.

Thirty minutes later, the blond awoke to a clicking sound and the Velcro rip of something from his bare upper arm. What the…where's my coat?

"Well, his blood pressure is normal and I guess we can test him now for any head trauma," the voice of Dr. Kadowaki reported as Seifer glanced to the elder woman. Her gaze turned to another person occupying the room and Seifer saw none other than Quistis Trepe kneeling on the bare floor of wherever he was.

"…where...how…Trepe?" he mumbled glancing between the two women.

"Hmm, well at least he seems to recognize you, Quistis," the doctor said with a smile. She helped Seifer to sit up before she proceeded to check his vision, reflexes, and memory. She asked his date of birth, height, age, even his favorite color before deciding he had no serious head injuries. "Well then, I'll leave you to fill him in on everything, alright, dear?" Kadowaki asked looking to Quistis who nodded. With that the elder woman left the room.

"So, how are you feeling?" Quistis started smoothing imaginary wrinkles from her skirt. Seifer shrugged and glanced to his hands finally realizing he was hand-cuffed. "Precaution," Quistis explained as he lifted his bound hands then lowered them back to his lap.

"Where's my coat?" he asked in the most innocent voice Quistis had ever heard from him. She pointed to the other side of the room. He nodded and glanced to the cuffs again. "I'm cold?" Quistis shook her head, stepped over his outstretched legs and dropped the coat on his shoulders. Seifer glared at her before leaning his head back against the wall. "Ugh, why does my head hurt?"

Quistis actually smiled despite him once again glaring at her. "Hmm, I thought the few painkillers Kadowaki gave you would have taken care of things," she began the smile still on her lips. "See, there might be a few explanations: you hit the floor when you passed out, Zell and Irvine dropped you, twice, all the sleep spells…"

"Whoa, whoa, wait a sec, dropped me?" Seifer repeated leaning forward so his cuffed hands were now on his bent knees. Quistis just nodded. "Meaning…" he trailed off as Quistis casually shrugged.

"After you passed out and Edea melted through the floor, we tied you up, dragged you with us, and put you in a closet for a bit," she explained in the calmest voice. Seifer opened and closed his mouth several times trying to decide what part to ask about first. "Squall was content with just leaving you, but I thought it'd be better if we brought you back to Garden, you've caused enough trouble as it is."

"I…right," he replied before a new type of headache made him dizzy. "…where's that…buzzing coming from?" he mumbled laying his head on his knees. Confused and oddly worried, Quistis got to her feet ready to go get Kadowaki. "…hey, Quistis," Seifer said as her hand hovered above the room's keypad. She turned back to him as he was again sitting up leaning against the wall.

"What it is, Seifer?" she asked trying to meet his eyes. He seemed incredibly tired now, as though he was struggling just to keep his eyes open.

"…Lunatic…Pandora, what is that?" he asked looking up at her. Where did that come from? She wondered as she returned to kneel beside him.

"They say it caused the first Lunar Cry, why?" Quistis asked.

"She wants it," Seifer replied as he shivered. His tenchcoat had fallen from his shoulders and Quistis placed it back on his shoulders lingering when she held the lapels against his chest. "Trepe, you can let go now," Seifer whispered when she didn't move after several minutes, her gaze fixed on his necklace. "Uh, Quistis…Quisty?" he tried reaching up to grab her wrists.

"Why'd you join her?" she demanded gripping tightly to his jacket and glaring at him. He remembered this look, she'd given it to him a lot in class and he'd received the same look from Squall at the parade: disappointment. They both seemed to think he was stronger than this; no one could control Seifer Almasy. He had no response for her, he couldn't think of the reason himself. Maybe it was because he hadn't seen Matron in so long, maybe he'd been so disgusted that Squall had passed the SeeD exam and not him, maybe he'd done it just to show them all up. If I'm not good enough to be a SeeD, maybe I'll just be your enemy.

"I don't know," he replied before there was a sharp stinging pain on his cheek. She'd slapped him, hard. She was no longer gripping his coat nor was she even within an arm's reach of him. He reached up a hand to rub his reddening cheek and glared at her. "Look I wasn't thinking, alright? Are you happy, Instructor? I was an idiot just like always. Is that answer enough for you?" he asked in a low voice. She shook her head as she stood by the door, arms crossed.

"First off, I'm not your instructor, Almasy. I told you that in Timber before you ran off towards the TV station. Second, I think you do know why you did it and I never considered you stupid, just impulsive. You're as dense as Squall sometimes," she finished, looking towards the door.

Her last statement confused him, but he figured now might not be the best time to ask about it. Instead, he took a deep breath and looked to her as he clearly stated, "I quit." She scoffed before glancing at him with her 'instructor glare.'

"And what are you quitting exactly, Almasy? Are you done lying? Are you finished being someone's puppet?" she returned, not moving. He sighed again before answering.

"I'm done being a knight and I'm done trying to make it as a SeeD. I can't exactly try to go dig up that Luna Pandora thing from in here and I won't waste the time competing with Leonhart anymore." Quistis seemed surprised, but quickly bolted from the room only to return a few minutes later, a pen and notepad in her hand. She placed the notepad by his right side and placed the pen in his right hand.

"Write it," she told him as she directed his cuffed hands above the notepad. He felt like he was writing his last will and testament rather than a note of surrender, no, no he was quitting. Quistis watched as he scribbled something on the page, as he soon decided to just balance the notepad in his lap. At least then the thing would be somewhat legible. When he finished, he dropped the notepad back on the floor and held out the pen to her. She took it before reading over the page. He'd just 'relinquished' his role as the Sorceress' Knight. "I will agree to help the SeeDs take down the Sorceress Ultimecia if my freedom is guaranteed when the fight is over," Quistis read. She continued looking over Seifer's list of demands before reaching the last sentence. "'If any of these guarantees cannot be made, I agree to have the Gardens offer a counter-agreement which I will discuss with a liaison from one of the Gardens that I choose.' So who exactly did you planning on appointing liaison?"

"You," he replied seriously.

"You realize that even though I've known you since I was little it doesn't mean I'm going to let them go easy on you right?" He simply shrugged.

"If I don't get executed after all of this is over, I've still won something," he replied. Quistis then gave him another infamous look, her 'care-to-elaborate' look. "I didn't truly get defeated, I quit."

"Sure, Seifer, whatever you want to think," Quistis said as she got to her feet. "Well then, I suppose I agree, for now. So Seifer, good luck with this," she said waving the notepad towards him.

"Trepe you know I hate it when people…"Seifer began before Quistis finally left the room. "…wish me luck." He leaned his head back against the wall trying to block out the nagging voice that told him to get up and go get the thing at the bottom of the ocean. He crushed it with memories of a shoreline, a lighthouse, a woman in black, a man with a red vest, and seven children watching fireworks explode in the clear evening sky.


A/N: Though I realize I could make an AU from this little one-shot, I am one of the worst people for updating plus I am working on an AU with Seifer and Quistis as the main characters.