Author: PlasticBagFreak
Fandom: D.Gray-Man
Title: Dreary and Dull
Characters:Allen Walker, mentions of others
Summary: You don't know what you have until you lose it.
Warnings: Nothing really except possible OOC-ness of Allen

A long time ago, Allen Walker had brown hair; plain, dull, brown hair. Allen had hated that hair colour. He hadn't hated it as much as his arm – the same arm that had brought him so much pain and rejection – but he had hated it all the same.

At one point, Allen had wondered if maybe his hair was the reason his mother had abandoned him, but that ridiculous idea was quickly dismissed. No one would reject a child for such a frivolous reason.

Then Mana found him and for a short while he had been happy with his hair because the man had accepted him and loved him. But this was short-lived as through Mana, Allen had met a lot of people with much more exotic hair colours. Well, not that exotic, but the blond, black and red hair colours certainly seemed much more exciting than his own boring brown.

One day, Allen had told Mana that he wanted a different hair colour. The man had merely given him a gentle smile, placed a hand tenderly on his head and said:

"I think brown hair makes you look very handsome."

And that had been that. Mana's simple comment had left Allen in a very bright mood for the rest of the week.

It was only a short time after that conversation that Mana had died. Allen wouldn't talk and instead spent all his time after the funeral at the man's grave. Mana's death had hit Allen very hard; of course it had - the man had been a father to him when no one else would. Allen had looked up to the man and more than once wondered if maybe he was dreaming, if maybe this kind man didn't really exist.

When the Millennium Earl had confronted him with his offer, Allen had been all too ready to accept. The man was offering to bring Mana back, how could he not say yes? All he had to do was call Mana's name and so he did.

The result had been unexpected; Mana had been turned into an Akuma. His former father-figure had been furious at him for turning him into an Akuma; he had even slashed at Allen's eye and left him with a curse enabling him to see the souls of the Akuma. Allen hadn't cared though, Mana was back and that was all that mattered. Unfortunately for him, his abnormal arm had disagreed with him and transformed into an enormous, silver claw. The claw had dragged him to Mana and despite his own pleas, gave into Mana's request and destroyed him. Mana was gone and so was the mysterious Millennium Earl.

After that, an odd looking man called Cross Marian had introduced himself. He was apparently an exorcist, a General at that. The man had asked him if he wanted to be an exorcist – if he wanted to bring salvation to the Akuma using his innocence (which apparently was what his arm was). Allen had agreed and left with the man (and soon realised just how sadistic the stranger really was).

It wasn't until days later, when Allen finally had access to a mirror in a hotel room Cross had rented (and conveniently left Allen to pay for), that he noticed something different about his hair.

It was white.

His hair was pure white. Allen asked Cross about it and the man had told it was probably because of the shock he'd experienced, before proceeding to literally kick the boy out of the room.

Allen had always wanted a different hair colour, but at that moment in time, the boy wanted his simple and dull brown hair back. He wanted the hair he had when Mana had been alive.

Allen wanted brown hair because his white hair was a constant reminder that Mana was dead and Allen wanted him alive.