-Heyy this is my first Nanny fanfic and my first fanfic in aaaaages. I'm not sure if I lost touch, but enjoy. ;0 I also want to thank Alba for lending me her wits with Niles' dialogue. XD-
I do not own anything of The Nanny.
Chapter 1
It was mid-day, and all Niles was left with doing was the same old chores. Ms. Fine had taken the children out and Mr. Sheffield was locked in his office, buried deep in the papers that were probably just magazines of Sharper Image. Nothing to listen in on, no special requests to be dragged out on. He could say that it was a perfect and peaceful day––until Ms. Babcock was there to break the silence.
"Hello–fucking–'lo," she seethed as walked in and slammed the door behind her.
"Oh right when I think God gave us a pleasant day," Niles muttered as he continued to sweep the floors.
"Not in the mood for your sarcastic remarks, bellboy," she said grumpily as she slumped on the couch.
"Aww, what's the matter? Did someone wake up on the wrong side of the pasture field?"
"Ugh no... I got invited to a wedding."
"As best man?"
"Yes."
"Ooh." Niles winced at her humiliation.
"I mean seriously I think people are just blind... a man with breasts surely doesn't make any sense."
"Hmm, Boobcock." He joked to himself as he went on with sweeping.
"Yeahh, one thing you won't ever get to see and another you don't have," she attempted in cheering herself up.
"And two things you do have."
"Oh, screw you, Niles," she hissed once more. "Anyways I left my Prozac in the kitchen. Fetch."
"Woof," he played as he set aside the broom and went to grab the bottle of pills that made her function like a human.
He found them lying on the table, and quickly swiped it off and returned to the living room to throw it at her. "Now you fetch."
The bottle hit the side of her head as she let out an "Owww!"
"Bad dog," Niles snarled.
Remembering that she also needed a glass of water, she stood up holding at her head, not trusting Niles to do anymore for her. By the end of the day, she'd be soaking wet, with a light smell of turkey sandwich. C.C. marched off into the kitchen to attempt to drown out her misery on medication. Niles being satisfied, left her on her business with her Prozac and later on with Maxwell.
--
The day passed on normally; Maxwell and C.C. deciding on the new play's cast, Fran intruding after she arrived back, Niles serving, and the children just off doing their own things. The Prozac had a miraculous effect on C.C., for she was as bright and optimistic as the chances that Sylvia would come marching in to ask Niles for a nosh––and that, was a more than a hundred percent likely.
C.C. was right about ready to head home until she was struck with nausea and drowsiness. "Aw fuck, not the side effects. Hey, uh Nanny Fine," she called as she passed by her. "Where's the bathroom?" Surprisingly, coming and going out of this house each day for the past few years, she still didn't know where it was.
"Oh, use the one upstairs, ma's in the first one," she nasally answered.
C.C. shuddered at the thought along with Fran as they parted and she went up the stairs. After locking herself in there for a good twenty minutes, her nausea was gone, but her drowsiness struck back stronger than ever.
Crap, I really need to get home and get to bed. But at this rate, I can't go own my own. I'll collapse on the streets. "Niles!" she called weakly as she headed for the stairs.
Niles came from the kitchen and found a very sleepy––and somewhat delusional––Ms. Babcock. Her eyes were locked shut and her head seemed to have weighed a ton as she slowly came down the stairs.
Seeing her pleased and unaffected by any of his remarks and insults throughout the day put him in the mood to take this opportunity to mess with her a bit.
"Ms. Babcock?"
"Santa?" She replied deliriously.
Niles turned around with a wide grin on his face, mischief spread across his face. Keeping a far distance, he called out, "Yes, child, 'Tis Santa. Come now, follow my voice…"
"Okie dokey Santaa."
Fran came out of the kitchen seeking Niles. His attention shifted to her as she called for him. "Hey Niles, ma wants to know if—" her jaw dropped and Niles turned around immediately when they heard C.C. tumbling down the stairs, head first on the hard floor.
Niles and Fran stood there frozen with the silence buzzing furiously.
"That did not just happen." Niles prayed as he rushed over to C.C., and Fran followed.
"Oy… this is schlect."
"Oh my god, it did happen! … YES!"
"Niiiles! Help her!!"
"Oh alright, let me get the phone." Niles stepped over to grab it from the base.
"Good, to call am ambulance, right?" Fran asked frantically, hovering over Ms. Babcock.
"No, towing service."
Niles, Fran, and Maxwell sat outside her room in the hospital, Fran biting her nails in worry, and Niles biting his nails in guilt. Surely she didn't fall cause of his attempted trick, right? It was just the damn Prozac, right?!
"So you're telling me," Maxwell started, "that she just fell out of the stairs, just like that?"
"You know some chickens have poor coordination," Niles murmured nervously.
"And you and Ms. Fine were with her?"
"Yes, sir."
"It's bloody hard to believe none of you did anything to make this happen." He accused in his sharp accent.
"We didn't, sir."
Niles' guilt was tripping him harder than he thought. Sure when it came to messing with Ms. Babcock he could be as heartless as possible, but this was just a prank gone wrong. If she made it out alive and well, Niles would sure be running after his head. Oh how he would miss his head.
Dr. Walter stepped out of her room, checking over his clipboard. All attention came to him as he opened his mouth to speak. "Her concussion is quite severe, I'm sorry to say, but it's nothing to worry about. However, there may be slight memory loss… As for the sudden drowsiness, though there are very low chances of these side effects, was caused by her dosage of Prozac…"
"But she's going to be okay, right doc?" Fran asked worriedly.
"Of course. Would you like to visit her?"
"Everyone wear gasmasks," Niles mumbled as he stood up lazily.
"Oh Niles, would you quit the bloody remarks? She's in the hospital for god's sake," Maxwell responded bitterly.
Niles frowned a guilty expression as the three of them came into the room. C.C. heard their footsteps and stirred as she rubbed her eyes awake.
"Oh good, Ms. Babcock, you're awake," Fran greeted endearingly as she took the chair beside her.
C.C. stared at her blankly, not quite recognizing her. "Who are you?" The expression on her face looked so innocent and puzzled, no attitude in her tone.
Fran looked at Niles and Maxwell back and forth. "Slight memory loss, eh?"
"C.C.," Maxwell started. "What is the last thing you remember?"
"Christmas?"
Niles made a silent "oooh" as his face winced.
"And what year is it?" Fran tried.
"…1959?"
"Holy–" Fran nearly had a heart attack. Dr. Walter's jaw dropped as Maxwell immediately turned to him.
"You said it was slight!"
"Well, I–I thought," the doctor began to babble out of astonishment.
"…carry the one," Niles began murmuring under his breath tossing his fingers around in front of him, "oh my god, she thinks she's five."
"Her brain must've regressed so far that she thinks she's a little girl again," Dr. Walter frantically explained.
C.C. looked around the room, her eyes filled with curiosity and amazement. "Woow," she admired like a child. "This hospital room is way fancier than when I last saw."
Maxwell looked at her pitifully. "How long will this last?"
"I-I'm not sure," Dr. Walter stuttered. "For the most, about a week or so."
"You're accent's funny," C.C. commented as she giggled at Maxwell. They all just gave her a stare. Fran's face lit up with an idea.
"C.C. honey, does that guy over there look hot to you?" she asked as she pointed to Maxwell. He squinted at her, not knowing what she was doing.
"Ewwww, no, he's old," C.C. replied as she cringed.
Fran put her hands around her waist and nodded impressively. "Well I like the new C.C. just fine."
"Ms. Fine!" Maxwell whined. "How am I going to work without a business partner?"
"Oh! Oh! Me!" Fran raised her hand and bounced like a little child. Maxwell looked off at Niles with a look that said "I'm bloody doomed" and Niles just shrugged.
C.C. smiled unknowingly, not quite understanding anything these adults were talking about, but she just had a gut feeling that it was funny. She stared around the room again, and then spotted Niles standing next to her bed. Her face brightened as she grabbed his sleeve.
"Daddy!"
"Daddy?!" The four of them gasped in deep confusion.
"Well I'm famisched." Fran stated as she held her hands out in the air and turned away.
Niles looked distastefully at C.C., her expression totally oblivious. "Oh, I don't know what's worse. The fact that she thinks I'm old enough to be her 'daddy' or the fact that she thinks she's a girl."
Haha, hope you enjoyed it. Feedback and reviews would be really, really appreciated.