A/N: dedicated to anthony, my buttface best friend, who inspired this mess when he drew a picture of johnny with an undercut. i'm sorry you're reading this. i really am.
i posted this on my tumblr really late one night and i apologize for being too lazy to go back and fix the absence of capitalization and the likes.
there might just be more of these in store for you soon.
disclaimer: susie hinton owns these guys obviously, let's get real here. i don't own animal collective, or elvis, or my bloody valentine, or johnny hobo, or golgol bordello, etc etc etc. come on now.
one fine evening, edgy sideburns dallas and hipster undercut johnny were sitting in the curtis home, tumbling from their macbooks and drinking PBR. edgy sideburns dallas was sporting some very edgy sideburns, as well as some super snazzy horn-rimmed glasses, 7/8" plugs, bright green dr. martens, and an animal collective t-shirt under his pleather jacket, which he purchased at the local goodwill. hipster undercut johnny had a hip undercut, multiple ear piercings, knuckle tattoos that said, "STAY GOLD," and a denim jacket, covered in pins and patches that read things like, "JOHNNY HOBO AND THE FREIGHT TRAINS," and, "GOLGOL BORDELLO," and, "WOMEN'S RIGHTS," and, "GO VEGAN". they were easily the coolest guys in tulsa.
dallas and johnny were in a gang, you see. but unlike the shepard gang or the brumly boys, they were so obscure that they didn't even have a name. you've probably never heard of them anyways.
"ugh," dallas sighed apathetically, skipping past some elvis songs in his itunes. "i used to really love elvis, y'know? he was tuff. but now he's just… i dunno… too mainstream."
"i know, right?" johnny said quietly, fidgeting with the hem of his flannel shirt. "maybe he should incorporate some didgeridoo into his music. it would add some variety.
"you know, johnnycake, you may be onto something there. you should post about it on your tumblr, and see what people think."
"oh, i dunno about that…" he answered, blushing because someone thought his ideas were clever and/or super trendy. "my blog is finally the perfect combination of skinny girls with dip-dyed hair, unicorns, triangles, short-shorts, kawaii gifs, DIY fashion, wolves, nebulas, grainy pictures, nutella, and gifs of me opening and closing my mouth. i don't think i should distrupt that kind of flow with elvis playing the didgeridoo."
dallas shrugged as foster the people emanated from his macbook. "i guess you're right. i'm just sayin', though, that could be big. elvis goes australian. think about it. it's so exotic." he pulled a pack of american spirits out of his jacket pocket and lit one up. "you want a smoke?"
"no thanks," johnny said, hugging his knees. he gave dallas a sideways glance down the couch. "do you ever just feel alone in the world, dally?"
he took a drag on his cigarette, "i'm kind of a lone wolf, kid."
"no….. i just mean….. why am i so lonely? i'm too young to be this lonely." a single tear fell from his eye. "i just want life to be like a sofia coppola movie, man, that's all i want."
'soft as snow (but warm inside)' by my bloody valentine started playing from dally's laptop. he scooted closer to johnny, and, in an uncharacteristic moment of tenderness, wiped the single tear from his face. "hey, life can't be a sofia coppola movie all the time. besides, if you tried to live your life as lux lisbon, you'd be dead." he tilted johnny's face up to look at him. "you spend too much time reading nebulas with catchy phrases written over them. you don't have to be lonely. you got me."
and then they proceeded to make out to my bloody valentine, and it was glorious. until the curtis brothers returned home from the grocery store.
darry dropped a paper bag full of groceries, trying to shield ponyboy's eyes. "oh, sweet mother of god."