"Apparently, you have a super hero complex."

John's eyebrow rose skywards at that. Coming from Rodney, that was quite a comment.

"Oh, really?" Rodney gave a nod of affirmation and John's other eyebrow joined its friend somewhere high on John's forehead. "And how is that?"

His eyes trained on the board in front of him again, studying Rodney's move. The guy was getting better, unfortunately. His eyebrows crept slowly down his forehead and inched together as concentration took over.

"You blame yourself for everything that happens here because, for some reason, you feel like you should be able to protect everyone."

John rewarded him with a derisive snort.

"What the hell are you talking about, Rodney?"

Rodney glanced up at him as though he'd asked him the most ridiculous question ever. John was absolutely not used to having these types of conversations with Rodney and it was more than a little disconcerting.

"Well, you blame yourself for everything. Ronon said that you're blaming yourself for what happened to Doran, even though there was nothing you could have done."

John gulped down the lump in his throat before rising what he hoped were incredulous eyes to the scientist.

"I do not blame myself for what happened to Doran." He moved his Bishop and picked up Rodney's Queen much to the annoyance of the Canadian. "There's no point."

Rodney made a non-committal grunt in the back of his throat before his face lit up and he moved his pawn in what he thought was a good move. John smirked behind his fingers that were rubbing his lip.

"You've been avoiding her ever since we came back from that planet where she..."

"I have not been avoiding her!"

And he hadn't been. It was just that he rarely saw her when he was around other people. He frowned at that. In fact, now that he thought about it, he hadn't seen her for almost two weeks since they'd returned from their latest mission. He hoped that she was finally realising that he was right and that she needed time to grieve for her son. Something that Rodney said tugged at his mind and he frowned as he looked back at Rodney.

"You were talking to Ronon about this?"

Rodney shook his head as he popped some popcorn into his mouth.

"No. He was talking to one of the nurses about it... Keller I think."

John rolled his eyes at Rodney's inattention to Keller's title but he fixed him with a curious stare, letting him know his interest was piqued.

"What were they saying?"

Rodney returned John's stare with an exasperated glare, while John simply raised his eyebrows.

"Didn't I just tell you? What, should I just bring a tape recorder to our games now?"

John levelled him with a stare and Rodney shook his head, looking away to the chess board once more, sighing heavily in annoyance. John kept his own irritation at bay.

"Was that all they said?"

"Well, I wasn't exactly listening was I? There were plenty of other things for me to be worrying about, like getting my blood sugar level back up!"

John closed his eyes and shook his head, wondering not for the first time how he ever managed to put up with Rodney's snarky ways. In a way, it was disconcerting knowing that even Rodney had noticed something amiss with him and Teyla. They hadn't been right ever since... well, honestly, ever since he'd found out she was pregnant a year before. And then there was What Had Happened though John could hardly find fault in that; she'd needed it and he'd needed to help her. There was something else keeping her from him and he didn't like it; he didn't like not knowing what was going on in her life.

And what was interesting to John was that suddenly other people had taken an interest too. Even the President knew just how much of a grape vine there was wrapped around the city of Atlantis but John had never paid it any heed – until, that was, one of his best friends began partaking in conversations involving him and Teyla. It was rather... unusual.

"Where were you when they were talking about this?"

"What's big deal? Will you just hurry up and move already."

John pushed his thoughts away and concentrated on beating Rodney. In a few moves, he completed his task and dusted his hands off elaborately in front of the blustering Canadian.

"How... that's the second time tonight you've done that... how... I thought I was..." He pursed his lips and creased his eyes. "You cheated, didn't you?"

John laughed and shook his head, moving to reset the board.

"No, Rodney, I didn't cheat." He smirked. "I'm just better than you."

Rodney grunted and John smiled again. He liked these little chess matches with Rodney; they kept his mind occupied, kept him from thinking about things that maybe he shouldn't. But there was always a moment when his concentration lapsed and his mind began to wander. He'd come to terms with the fact that there was absolutely nothing he could have done to stop Doran from dying; as he'd told Teyla numerous times, it was just one of those things. But he couldn't help but feel the least bit guilty at the emotional state he'd found her in on his return to Atlantis. He'd felt that he should have been there for her when she'd laid her son to rest.

But he hadn't been and he knew that there was nothing he could do about it now.

He'd vowed to them both he'd be her friend, her ally and that's what he needed to do. And blaming himself for everything wasn't helping matters between them. But that lead to thoughts as to why she wasn't speaking to him, why he hadn't come across her in hallways or balconies or in the mess because he knew she was in Atlantis. He wondered if he'd done anything wrong, if he'd said something to anger her.

He shouldn't really bother about it so much anyway. But he did – because it was Teyla. She didn't hold a grudge. Not against him, anyway.

He sighed as he countered Rodney's move, submerging himself in strategy and endless forward thinking, blocking out thoughts on Teyla – he knew those would come later in the night.

As he let his mind wander for an instant he smiled.

Maybe, when it came to her, he did have a superhero complex, after all.