I do not own any of these characters, they are the product of the very fantastic imagination of Stephanie Meyers, creator of Twilight. I'm just boring until this story ends.

Please review and enjoy (hopefully). If you are a Beta Reader, take pity on me and HELP. I know I suck at the punctuation and first/second/past/present thing.

Thanks! Enjoy!

Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk

Chapter One:

I sighed leaning back against the hard café chair staring out the window with blind interest, tapping my foot out of my sandal letting my toes rub gloriously on the cool marble tiled floor. Letting out a long sigh as I tapped my pencil to the rhythm in my head, and closed my eyes Maybe I can see it…c'mon. It happened like that sometimes, I could see the lyrics scroll across the blackness of my closed lids, poetry floating in waves, satisfying the swollen lump in my throat every time I was blocked. Please…please, I need this.

I waited, my toes curling then tracing the concrete line between the tile in anticipation of the moment the words would come. And they are coming, they always do; ever since I was a little girl strumming angry toneless chords from my fathers favorite guitar on the back porch steps. She'll never love you the way I can, you'll see, she'll break your heart 'way you broke mine and I hope you die…Now, mind you I was nine years old and Terence Campbell asked me to be his girlfriend after kissing me under the monkey bars before lunch. Then took it back after I laughed hard enough to snort milk from my nose and over his tray during lunch. By dismissal he was holding hands with Erica Beatty and my life was over.

Taking another deep breath I let it out slow my head drifting gently to the side muting the sounds around me. Quieting the long dismissed memories of stupid head Terence Campbell and his intolerance for lactaidinal emissions, the jingle of customers entering and exiting the café and the dull hum of life outside the cool storefront glass I was now leaning on, Please, I know you're there, just…the corners of my mouth turned slowly up, the ache in my throat rejoiced as my fingers spread wide on the table, straightening the paper in front of me then reaching for my pencil. My hand went to work an obedient servant, scribbling the words as they stenciled into the blackness and I smiled more…it was perfect.

Summer rain, dripping down your face again
Summer rain, praying someone feels the same
Take the pain killer, cycle on your bicycle
Leave all this misery behind

Light pierced the darkness, my lashes untangled with the effort and I was offended by the synapses firing in my brain telling my eyes to commit such a heinous crime. I rubbed the offense away and squinted down at the paper now decorated in my scribbled handwriting, it was like reading hieroglyphics sometimes. Not this time though, the lyrics were clear and they were good, I nodded responding to the conversation in my head. Biting my lip I continued, words and melodies streaming in like an endless band of ribbon uncoiling from the Gods right into my consciousness. I giggled at that and wrote the line in the margin of the paper, shaking my head at how silly this process was sometimes. My toes danced happily on the floor, lifting and twirling the sandal in a not so graceful waltz.

My love giving me head, feeling very guilty, breaking the bread
Losing my attention, I'm taking the world on
So batten up the hatches, here comes the cold
I can feel it creeping, and it's making me old
You give me so much love that it blows my brains out

I wrote until letters and notes waned gently into silence and when I was done, I was exhausted but so very satisfied. Raking my fingers through my hair, my hand massaged as it trailed down along the curve of my neck, dropping my head forward with a low groan as the world became animated again. I was suddenly aware of table number five needing a refill on their coffee and table two's order was finally up, Salmon and asparagus burger on toasted bagel.

"Bella! Let's go baby you're break is over, Angela's getting swamped over here!" Rubbing my eyes once more I tucked the pencil behind my ear, quickly folding the paper and stuffing it in the pocket of my apron as I stood up, shuffling my foot back into my sandal.

"I'm coming, I'm coming! Gosh I just sat down Harry give a girl a break!" He chuckled, shaking his head as he turned back to the grill calling over his shoulder "Yeah well you keep talking to yourself scaring my customers away you're going to be on a permanent break missy." I could hear the teasing smirk in his tone and I ignored it, I always did, shaking my head as I answered the response in my head I do not talk to myself. I grabbed the fresh pot of decaf and table two's order from the counter before Harry could summon me with his harmless bark. Spinning around I nearly collided with Angela, she laughed as she ducked, stuffing her tips into her pocket.

"Um, yes you do…all the time Bella." I blinked then stared at her wondering how she could hear my thoughts, my brows knitting together for a brief moment before I shrugged and kept moving, the guy at table two looking like he's ready to lunge at me for his burger. I smile at him, stammering softly over my words and I lay his food out for him "I'm sorry about the wait, we're a little crowded at lunch time." He didn't respond and I was grateful, I warmed his coffee after offering him another apologetic smile then moved on, glancing around at all my tables, doing a mental checklist for each.

Table one, needs ketchup, looks like table three's almost ready for their check. I pulled my tablet from my pocket and the pencil from behind my ear as I made my way to table five, not bothering to look as I filled the coffee cup "Okay, just let me know if you need anything else." It was my autopilot response to customers, as long as I smiled and appeared sincere, they never really cared. I was about to shuffle away, my mind preoccupied with the adding and subtracting of table three's bill. "Uhhh, I could use a towel? Maybe?"

My nose wrinkled in response, "Huh?" then my eyes widened a mortified gasp filled my lungs as I fumbled and stuttered "Oh my God…I spilled the…I'm so" shaking my head, circling aimlessly trying to figure out how not to burn myself with the coffee I was still holding. Angela laughed coming to my rescue "God Bella, gimme that." She carefully took the handle and flung the towel from her apron string over my shoulder. I snatched it down, immediately stumbling over to him, wiping faster than the towel could absorbed the heated liquid. His face twisted as he hissed a flood of coffee rushing like a waterfall over the edge of the table and onto his lap. "Fuck…that's….hot."

My mouth gapped open, I just couldn't believe what was happening, I'm an idiot…What the hell is wrong with you!

"I'm sorry…its just…really hot." He laughed as he apologized and started to slide from the booth, swiping his hands down over his now very stained khaki pants. I shook my head, eyes wide, mouth opened…no words. "No…not…" I shook my head again and wished silently for a set of jumper cables. I needed a jolt. I was frozen and for the time being he seemed to be caught in the same cosmic space time continuum as me, because he just stared with a strange, breathtakingly adorable, embarrassed smile on his face.

"Umm…" his brows arched and he extended his hand toward me, I smiled awkward and moved closer to him wringing the damp warm towel in my hands. Pressing his lips together he laughed, tilting his head silently asking me a question. I had no idea, so I tilted my head in response, wrinkling my nose again. "What?" he grinned wide and cleared his throat, nodding toward the towel in my hand. It took me a moment and when the light bulb went on, I groaned. Idiot!

He arched his brows and laughed tugging the towel gently from my hand. I said that out loud. Oh crap I said that out loud? He laughed more, already busy cleaning himself off, he shook his head a playful glint in his eyes as he looked up again tossing the towel on the table.

"Its okay, I've been called worse."

"No…I didn't mean. I wasn't, I was talking to…myself. In my head." His brows arched again, twisting his lips clearly trying very hard not to humiliate me even more with laughter. "You mean you were thinking?" I offered a firm nod, that was it.

"Yes…I was thinking, out loud, to myself." I took a deep breath and gave up, I wasn't making any sense…done trying.

He grinned wide, turning to the table he started to clean it off with the towel there, looking over his shoulder at me as he worked absently. Folding the towel to the good side he leaned down and wiped the booth seat clean, folding again giving it another once over before turning back to me. "You do that a lot?"

I snorted, shaking my head taking the towel from him, wondering if I should look for Ashton Kutcher or something. "Um, no…I've never done that before. I'm so sorry, I don't know why I didn't look first. Or ask if you wanted more coffee. It was stupid, I don't know what's wrong with me today. I've never poured coffee on a customer before. I can take care of the dry cleaning, I work here so you know, you can just leave the bill with Harry or something if I'm not here." I sighed tossing the towel on the counter, looking the table, booth and floor over making sure there wasn't more for me to do.

"No, I meant…do you, think out loud to yourself…a lot."

"Oh! Oh…" I frowned, already nodding my answer. "Apparently."

He laughed at that, ducking his head down his eyes squinted as he read my name tag. "Well…Bella. It's been a pleasure listening to you think out loud…to yourself. Well…" he hesitated his smile turning to a tease as he pulled his wallet from his back pocket. "minus the scorched groin and everything." I couldn't help my lips from pulling at the corners, my laughter barely held at bay. Coffee burns on my nut sack, sounds like a rap song. Wait…I squinted at him to see if he could hear that, touching my lips for a little extra insurance that they weren't moving and they weren't. Okay, good.

He smirked as he pulled bills from his wallet, tossing them on the table, shaking his head.

"You're doing it again."

I squeaked.

He laughed, running his fingers gently through his hair as he made his way past me tucking his wallet back into his pocket. I turned toward him, stammering my cheeks so hot I could feel beads of sweat lifting to the surface of my skin.

"No, I'm just…I was thi." He cut me off with a laugh; his hand paused on the handle of the café door.

"I know, I know thinking out loud, to yourself. You should try and talk to people sometimes. I hear it's all the rage."

I blushed more, not trusting my crazy brain or my incompetent mouth anymore. Staring worked, dumb, silent, staring. I could hear his laughter over the jingle of the bell as he opened the door, I closed my eyes and I swore I could hear his laughter as he made his way up the street.

"BELLA!"

I jumped, not sure how long I'd been standing there with my eyes closed concentrating on the sound of laughter that I knew was too far away to actually hear. Harry was glaring at me, waving his greasy spatula around toward the room filled with filled tables.

"Customers? You do still work here right?"

"Right…sorry Harry."