You know what? There are two things I really, really hate in this world.
One is my sister's best friend. Two is the dude that turned me into a MYTHICAL BEING.
Yeah, that's right, I don't exist.
Well, I shouldn't.
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Sorry, you're probably a bit confused. I'm Saera. Well, it's Sarah on my birth certificate, but that's so boring.
I'm a vampire.
Last night, I turned this mundane into one of us.
Well, it wasn't just me. Everyone helped.
But Raphael went mad at us. He grabbed the bloody guy and dragged him off somewhere.
Don't know where.
Don't really care.
Hah, that rhymed…
You know, I really don't suit being a vampire. I'm too bloody cheerful.
Hah. See, another joke – 'bloody', you know, 'cause I'm a vampire…?
Fine. I thought it was funny.
Anyway, everyone else is so emo. They just walk around going "ARGH! SUNLIGHT!" It pretty funny. They get really annoyed at me when I start cracking up.
But anywho.
I think I need to find this guy I turned into one of us. I feel pretty crap about it. 'Cause if he's anything like me, which he seemed to be, he's gonna hate it. He just, like, walked into our cubby hole (everyone else calls it a den. I reckon it's more like a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse) and was all, "Hey, Raphael, when I was a rat" – yeah, I was confused too – "I think I was bitten… am I gonna become one of you?"
And then Cal said, "You are now." And pounced. It was kind of witty, but kind of sad.
You know, I meant to run off, I really did. I didn't want to help. But I was stuck there by the smell of blood…
Stop Saera. No more emo talk. I swore I'd never do that.
So anyway, I'm going to try and find this guy. What was his name? That would be a good way to start…
S something. Sam? No. Sebastian? Hmm, no. Seth? Nooo…
GOD. If only he'd been wearing one of those stick-on name tags. You know, that ones that are like, "Hello, My Name Is S______"
But people write stuff on there like "Hello, My Name Is Edward Cullen's Girlfriend."
I mean, really. It's hard to like this Edward Cullen character when you know it's complete crap.
But yeah.
S… S… S… Saul? NO! Sean?
God, this guy is so bloody (hee hee) annoying. I'm trying to give him some support and he has such an annoyingly common, impossible-to-remember name!
Grrr.
Or, apparently, hisss, if you're going off Stephanie Meyer. Vampire's don't hiss! We're not kitty-cats!
And when I meet a vampire who calls themselves 'vegetarians', I'm going to do something to them too horrible to write, 'cause someone will find it and die of shock, and I'll probably have to go to court or something…
Anyway!
Back to S-Man. Hah, that's his name now. S-Man. It's pretty catchy.
He was kind of weird. He had, like, this look in his eyes. It was like, "I'm not happy. Don't expect me to smile."
I reckon his girlfriend had just dumped him and he was going totally mood-swingy about it. He was a teenager, so I guess that's expected.
Well, I'm a teen too. But that doesn't mean I can't laugh at other people about it.
I hate teenagers. I mean, I was going to this guy's party, the High Warlock of Brooklyn, or something, and there were these Shadowhunters there.
I mean, as if that isn't bad enough. But they were teenagers too. And there was one random mundane hanging out with them. It was really funny, his girlfriend or something was there with him, and he was about to drink the magic cocktail and she told him not to, but he drank it anyway…
And turned into a rat.
There was a commotion at our Mickey Mouse Clubhouse after that party. I had gone out to town with a couple of vampires from a different coven. They said it was some Shadowhunters… and a rat.
S-Man said he'd thought he'd got bitten when he was a rat.
Oh. My. God. S-Man is the guy at the party. What was his name? His Shadowhunter girlfriend had called him by it…
S…
S…
Simon!
That was it! When he first came in, I thought he was gay, but then I saw how he looked at the red-haired Shadowhunter and I realised he wasn't.
Or at least, he was a really good actor and in denial.
Simon.
Yeah. There's no way he's gonna manage being a vampire.
I mean, really: The evil vampires hunted in the moonlight: Raphael, Saera, and Simon?
Pssh. I better find him.