Accidents

by iPWN

Zim and Dib have been on good terms for a few years now, meaning they've just been drifting apart. That was until Zim went to Dib for help, but when Dib introduces Zim to alcohol all goes bad from there on. at least check it out before you pass this

Warning: It's a Zim X Dib/ yaoi = boy love

Disclaimer: I don't own a damn thing. Wish I did. But I don't.

Title: Accidents

Summary: Based off the movie "Knocked Up". I'm not snatching everything, but I am snagging a few key elements from the story. Zim and Dib have been on good terms for a few years now, meaning they've just been drifting apart. That was until Zim went to Dib for help, but when Dib introduces Zim to alcohol all goes bad from there on.

Character Description (I do have original characters coming up next chapter)

Name:

Age:

Height:

Relation:

Appearance:

~Hair:

~Eyes:

Personality:

' ' = Thinking

" " = Talking

Italics/Bold= emphasis on word

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Title: Accidents

Chapter 1:THAT night

Dib Membrain. A name associated with fame and success. The son of Professor Membrain, a man of great respect and known for his countless contributes to the world. The question on everyone's mind at the moment is 'Will his son be able to fill his fathers shoes and run the company just as well?'

Dib listened to this play over and over. Rewinding and just listening to the way the narrarator talked. Listening to the things the woman said and the things he had said about himself. He recorded the show for no particular reason really. Just to do it, but after a while he realized he couldn't stop watching it. Especially the segment entitled "his legacy". His as in Dib's father of course. Who else would this town so devotedly worship.

He didn't know what possessed him to record the episode. It was nothing new. Just the same old praises about his father and the same old "how great he is" speeches. The show was a special about how Membrain got started and what he plans to do in the future. Kind've a where are they now thing. Maybe he recorded it due to the fact that this time they talked about someone other then Membrain. They talked about his family and personal life for once.

For a while Dib thought he lost his own father. They didn't speak. Didn't even look at each other. But that was before Dib 'saw the light', as Membrain likes to put it, and told his father he was now interested in real science. Membrain was more then happy to take his, now sane son, under his wing.

From that point on Dib's life has been nothing but lies. Even toward things he knew could never be humanly possible. He would now just smile politely and calmly lie-- well, explain it in a scientific way.

Now in his early twenties, Dib concentrated on things that, accordingly to his father, really mattered. Like....science. He even talked Dib into a social life away from "The Swollen Eyeball" or any other social circle he was in before. His friends weren't exactly the cream of the crop, but they were enough to satisfy Membrain. Even Dib found himself enjoy their company.

The same geeks from his elementary who used to avoid him now talked to him on a friendly basis. They don't even seem to mind any alien talk Dib may randomly burst out with. They just assume it's a passion Dib can't seem to fully let go of, and they let him believe whatever makes him happy.

Dib may have changed, and time may have passed since Dib's "revelation" about science vs. paranormal studies, but one thing remained the same in his mind. His obsession, Zim

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Zim changed as well. He noticed the change in the humans attitude toward things Dib once found fascinating. Now Dib would look at them with a look of disgust. This change in his once mortal enemy confused and annoyed Zim to no end. For weeks he felt it was all some type of ploy to get him to drop his guard, but nothing ever happened. Not a damn thing.

After time Zim soon lost interest in concurring the earth. He still kept in touch with the tallest through information gathering. A mission they've been telling him to do for years, but Zim always insisted that destroying the plant would satisfy The Tallest more then some word of paper. He felt it was the least he could do since he realized his attachment to the planet. It was stupid really. Zim caught himself, dare I say, enjoying things on the planet. Small things. Like the exotic colors of everything. Zim found himself on his roof watching the landscape more and more these days. With no real reason to destroy the planet anymore, information retrieval was all he could do. He blamed his lazy behavior on his earth lifestyle and tried living his life like a semi-normal human. Well, in his neighborhood he really was normal.

Everything in his life was starting to seem peaceful for once, that was until he received the last message he would ever receive from the tallest. A message that would change his life forever and make him run to the only person he could ever relate to. His obsession, Dib.

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Dib sat in front of his TV rewatching the video he recorded earlier. He was close to drifting off when a knock on the front door brought him back to his senses. Pulling himself from his dingy couch in the living room, he shuffled his way over to the door.

"Who is it!?" He yelled with exhaustion and irritation relevant in his voice. When he received no answer he mutted a low, "Kids", and turned toward the stairway to make his way to his bedroom for some much needed sleep. Another knock. Now he was pissed, causing him to swing open the door harder then you would've in a normal mood. The force of the door swinging open made the person on the other side jump back. "Zim?! What the hell?!" The tone of Dib voice wasn't making it easier for Zim to get his words out.

Dib took a deep breath to calm down. Something obviously had to be wrong. Not only did he and Zim no longer talked anymore, but Zim without anything to say just didn't seem to add up.

"Is everything ok?" Zim put on the fakest smile he could, one Dib saw completely through, but Zim pushed his way into the house anyway. "Excuse you." Dib said to deaf ears.

"Dib-Human, I need to tell you something that I think would interest you." Dib sighed loudly and fell back into his sofa. Kicking his legs up on the foot stool he spoke in a tired and irritated tone.

"And this information couldn't wait until, I don't know, MORNING!?" Zim moved to stand in front of Dib.

"No!" This is important!" Dibs eyes were now closed as he slowly dozed off again.

"Unless the human race is in danger, I don't really care."

"That's the problem!" Dib's eyes snapped open as he studied the alien in front of him.

"What do you mean?"

"That's the problem." He repeated. His voice straining as if his words pained him to even mutter. "They aren't." He said barely audible. "No one is in danger, no one is coming, no one is going to do anything!" Zim was visibly shaking now. But Dib could tell it was not out of anger. Dib sat strait up and kept his voice calm and his questions simple, to not enrage the already distressed alien.

"What happened?" When he received no answer he asked again. "Zim," he said firmly. "What happened?"

"I just heard the truth. That's all. I just finally heard the truth." Zim's voice started to waver at this point. "I found out that my mission wasn't real. It was just a plan to get rid of me--they didn't even think I was going to survive to ever call them again. They said that. They....laughed as they said that. They laughed when they were done. They laughed!" Zim took a deep breath to calm himself. "So you don't have to worry about Earth's well being anymore. It's unless to My Tallest. They don't want it. They never did. It's just a burden to them. I mean, why would they want a planet like this?!" Dib could tell he was no longer talking about the planet but himself, so he slid himself off the sofa so he was standing in front of Zim. Slowly, with outstretched arms, he walked over to the emotional Zim. Resting his hands on Zim's shoulders and looked the other boy strait in the eyes.

Now he understood why Zim had come over so late to tell Dib something that could've waited until later. It wasn't because Dib would enjoy the information. Zim needed comfort. He was betrayed by his own kind and the only person he could trust now was his own enemy.

"How could they be so cruel to you? You didn't deserve what they did. No one deserves that." Zim closed his eyes to take in the moment. This had to the first time Dib was ever to nice to him and he was going to savor the moment. Dib on the other hand realized what he was doing and stepped back. Never has he been so close to Zim and in his personal space without some type of violence to follow. But Zim just stood in the middle of the room, not moving at all. Obviously in thought.

"Let's go out!" Dib shouted catching the alien off guard.

"Ex-excuse me?!" Dib laughed at the reaction.

"Well, do you want to?"

"I-I-I don't know. Why me?"

"Who else would I ask. You're here, you woke me up, I'm not sleepy anymore, so we should go out somewhere. We never hang out, so why not now." Dib said as he walked in the back room. A light blue blush rushed to Zim's face. He couldn't believe what he thought the human was proposing at first.

"What makes you think I would want to spend an ounce of time with you?"

"You're here now aren't you?"

"Well, I-"

"Exactly." Reappearing in new clothes Dib smiled at the reaction from Zim he was expecting. "And that's why....." He grabbed his favorite jacket out the closet next to the front door. ".......we......" Then he snatched his keys off the coffee table. ".....are going out for drinks."

"Why must we go out to consume your stupid earth beverages?!"

"Because I don't have the good stuff here."

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After a short drive the two pulled up to a bar. It was a small place, and by the looks of the building it wasn't to popular. Or so Zim first thought. When the two entered Zim was taken back by the amount of people inside. The moment Zim opened the door he had second thoughts. The front door opened to a staircase that led down to another door at the bottom. A door that led to a room that only made Zim feel claustrophobic.

"Where have you taken me Earth-Smell?!" Dib chuckled and scratched his arm nervously.

"It's a small club I go to sometimes. From the outside it looks like a cheep bar, but downstairs is where the club is."

'Well that explains the name, A Whole In The Wall'. Zim thought moving closer to Dib to avoid touching the strange humans "Is it a secret?" Dib laughed at the childish voice Zim was using.

"No not a secret. Just not as flashy as most places. You can find it if you look it up though. They only go through all the trouble to avoid complaints of noise and things like that."

"Then how does a loser like you know of a place so discreet?" Zim said eyeing the other humans.

"A few of my friends come here, and they dragged me here one day. Ever since then, I find myself stopping in from time to time." Zim eye the human as is he was a completely new person.

'Since when did Dib have friends?' Feeling a bit uncomfortable with Zim staring at him and not saying anything, Dib suggested they get a seat in the back. They slipped into the both seated across from each other. Being away from the rowdy people hanging close to the bartender made Zim fell a little more at ease.

"Thanks." Zim muttered, knowing the human didn't catch it over the music. Dib, without not making eye contact with the alien, knew if Zim didn't say it out loud then he was thinking it, so he answered without even knowing Zim thanked him in the first place.

"Don't worry about it. I know how you are in crowds. You get all jittery and....blah." Dib waved his arms a bit to get his point across, but Zim only gave him a blank stare. "Never mind." Zim, for the first time in months, laughed. And not a cruel laugh at another pain but a laugh of enjoyment. Dib, feeling a little more confident, waved at a waitress. She smiled and held up a finger to ask him to give her a minute. Dib nodded then turned his attention back to Zim. Noticing the unconformable look on his face Dib spoke.

"Don't tell me your still scared of humans."

"I have NEVER been scared of you beasts! You're all just disgusting filth ridden beings! There's nothing wrong with not wanting to be toughed by such creatures. It's smart." Zim grunted before turning away with his head held high.

"Whatever you say."

"Don't judge me Dib-Stink, if I wanted to I could-"

"What'll you have?" Zim jumped at the voice a scooted back in the booth until his back was pressed to the wall. The woman's smile faltered for a second , but was back bigger then before. "Well," She leaned in a little to close for Zim comfort. "What should I get you boys to drink?" Reaching over the table Dib waved his hand in front of Zim to gain her attention and dragged it to himself.

"Well, miss..." Dib searched for a name tag but found none. "Uh, miss but how about beer." After writing a quick note on her pad she pointed the pen to the jittery alien.

"And him?"

"Oh, don't mind him he's a little touched in the head. He'll have the same." She smiled again.

"Ok, two beers coming right up." As the woman waked as to fetch the drink Zim shuddered.

"What's up with you?"

"Nothing is up with me! I just don't like her." Dib rested his head on his folded arms. His sleep deprived night now catching up to him.

"You don't even know her."

"I don't need to know her to know I don't like her. She's human and that's enough!" Peeking from under his folded arms and shushed the alien.

"Would you cool it. You're making a scene. Even thought that's not exactly anything new to you huh?" Dib said the last part quietly to himself, and laid his head back down. Thankfully Zim didn't catch the last remark.

"Cool what? You're making no sense Dib-human."

"How long have you been on Earth?! Over twenty years? And you still suck at slang? You need to leave your house more." Zim mentally flinched at the mention of years.

'Has it really been that long?!' To him it felt so much longer. "I don't need you to tell me what I need or do not need."

"I wasn't trying to tell you, It was a suggestion. Just trying to help." Zim antenna perk up at the thought of the human trying to help him.

"Well don't."

"Whatever." Just as Zim was about to argue back, But the waitress returned with to glasses.

"Here you go boys. Enjoy your night."

"Thank you. You to." Dib said with a polite smile. "Now Zim, try some."

"Are you idiotic Dib-Smell, did you forget-" Zim stopped before he could finish. Dib, still a little sleepy, didn't seem to hear Zim talk at all. "Forget it, hand me one of these beverages." Zim growled.

"You'll like it." Dib took a long swig of his own after sliding Zim his. "I know I sure do." Tipping his head back Dib prepared for on last gulp, once he down it a sizzling and groaning sound snapped him out of his sleepy haze and everything about his stupid idea seemed to click.

Cheep club = cheep drinks = watered down drinks = water = pain.

Depression + pain =

"ZIM STOP!!" But it was to late. Zim was face down on the table, nails digging into the wood trying his best to hold back a scream. "Zim." Dib whispered. "What the hell were you thinking!? You green idiot." Zim lifted his head to insult the human back, but the only thing that came out was, well, vomit. Trying to avoid to throw up Dib jumped back and knocked over his drink, resulting in Zim shooting out his seat to avoid the spilt beer.

Both stood staring at each other in shock until Zim swaying as if about to fall. Quick as a flash Dib shot forward to catch him. At this point the waitress returned, her friendly smile gone and a look of concern. "Is everything ok?"

"Do we look fucking ok!?" Holding her hands over her heart the woman jumped back at his outburst.

"Do you want me to call someo-"

"No! I got it." Dib bent his knees to lift Zim up bridal style. "Please, can you just..." Dib took a deep breath to calm himself. "...Help me get to my car?" She nodded and yelled to a man behind the counter, telling him she'd be back.

Dib made his way to the car with the help of the waitress, and thanked her with a fairly large tip. A fifty to be exact. Once Dib reassured her he could indeed drive, he got on the road a headed for Zim's place.

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The ride home was a pretty quiet one. Both contemplating over what happened at the bar. Dib knew Zim was trying to hurt himself, probably over the issue with his so called Tallest. The human mentally beat himself up for not seeing this coming. Zim was an emotional wreak. Worse then a over trusting girl after a bad break up.

Dib glanced over at the woozy alien next to him. Seemed by now the alcohol was beginning to take affect. Swaying a bit Zim reached out to latch a clawed hand to Dib right arm. He didn't mind the clingy alien, since he knew he would never be able to get Zim this cooperative and QUIET ever again.

"You ok?" Dib asked, keeping his eyes on the road. Zim nodded but Dib knew better. Zim was obviously drunk, but Dib couldn't really talk since he was a little himself. Watching the road swirl, at times it felt as if he wasn't wearing his glasses at all. "If you gonna throw up, open the window." He knew the statement was useless since Zim was in his own little world.

"No." Drunk and still hard-headed.

"Fine." Dib stifled a bubble in his throat he felt rising. "Throw up in your lap. I dun care."

"No." Dib pulled in front of Zim's house and rested his head on the steering wheel. After Steadying his thoughts he turned to the alien.

"You kin get out now."

"No." At this point Zim wasn't even listening to the things Dib was saying. He just felt No was the best thing to say if it involved something Dib was saying to him. He already could barely talk and was half asleep anyway. At this point in the night he could care less.

Sighing heavily, Dib slid out the car and walked around to the passengers side. Opening the side door he pulled him out. Zim made no movement to stop the obviously irritated human, and allowed himself to be led into the house. The yard gnomes in front seemed to be offline since they weren't attacking, and Dib was thankful for that. Violent, crazed, lawn ornaments was the last thing he needed. Once the two of them were inside Zim plopped down on the couch.

"Don't lay on your back. You can choke on your throw up." Zim let his eyes slowly slip closed, and with a scratchy voice spoke.

"I'd welcome it." Dib smiled at his rival. He knew Zim didn't want pity, but he did feel sympathy the idiot. Kneeling down he rested his elbows on the couch by Zim's head.

"I'm gunna go home now, kay?" As soon as those words left him mouth, Zim's hand shot out and once again latched on to Dib's arm. "Can you let go?" Dib whined and tug lightly on his arm, but it only resulted in Zim digging his nails into the fabric. Scratching the flesh underneath. "Why not?" Zim turned to face the human.

"Your drunk." Zim stated. "You're talkin' wrong." Dib's free arm held a hand over his mouth. He thought he was hiding it pretty well. Or at least good enough to where another drunk couldn't call him out.

"Well, so are you." Zim ignored him and sat up, but stared at the floor.

"You can't drive." Dib moved into Zim's line of sight and rested his elbows on Zim's knees and his face in his palms.

"Din't know you cared." Looking up Zim glared at the boy in front of him.

"I dunt."

"Dunt? You're so drunk." Dib poked Zim where his nose would've been if he was human.

"Shaddup. I talk better then you." Now it was Zim's turn to poke Dib where his nose is. Dib laughed while shaking his head to moved Zim's hand. A smirk tugged at Zim's lips, but instantly dropped before he bluntly said, "I gotta pee."

"That's attractive." Dib said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I know." Swaying as he stood, Zim yanked at Dib's arm as a sign to follow him. "Come human."

"Wait." Dib pulled back. "You're atully invitin' me?" Zim repressed a laugh.

"Actually, I am. Problem?" Dib shook his head.

"Nuuuuu." He whined as he pulled on Zim's shirt like a child not getting his way. Zim only smiled at the groveling human.

"Good. Follow." Just as Zim ordered, Dib obediently followed. They went into the kitchen, and to Dib's surprise, stepped into the fridge. After shutting the door Zim order the computer to take them to the 'Living Quarters'. They went down a few levels underground, and when it stopped Zim finally let go of the human and stepped out first. The elevator led strait to the bedroom. Or what Dib guessed was a bedroom since the circular thing in the middle of the room looked like a type of bed. What made the human nervous was the countless wires and cords hanging over it. Something that seemed strange was the fact that this room looked untouched. Completely clean, not a thing seemed out of place, the carpet didn't even have indents to show that something once put pressure on it. "I rarely sleep. If I do, it's at my work desk." Zim yawned loudly. "I've never been this....tired." Dib , hesitant at first, walked into the room.

"You had a...." He searched for the right words as he took a seat on the bed. "....eventful day." Zim gave a light laugh. He turned away from the human, removed his boots and gloves, and stored them on the closet. Dib only watched as Zim got ready for sleep. After a few seconds Dib caught what he was doing and whipped his head in the opposite direction. Finding the light across the room very interesting. Anything to distract him from the alien on the other side of the room. Unfortunately, the sudden movement gave him a head rush and caused a moment of dizziness. Letting his head fall into his hands Dib groaned.

"You see Dib-Smell, your head's so big it's about to fall off. Catch it!" Sitting up, Dib peaked up through the hair that fell over his eyes at the alien standing over him. Flipping his hair out his face he tapped the side off his head.

"Full of brains." Zim walked around to the other side of the bed a laid on his stomach with his head on his folded arms.

"Nuh-uh. Full of air and bone." Dib laughed at himself. Zim closed his eyes, but opened them as he reached for Dib's arm once again. "Down." Dib laughed again, but laid down facing the alien anyway. He couldn't believe his luck. Zim was being Nice to him, and for once in his life, Dib didn't have to lock himself in his room to figure out just what the other was planning.

"Zim?" Zim made a sound to show he was listening. To tired of talking with a sore throat. "Why don't we get along?"

"Human." Zim didn't have to form a whole sentence for Dib to understand what he was getting at. Dib was human and Zim was Irken, nuff said.

Dib knew Zim was drunk, tired, and most likely still in pain from the drink.

"How's your throat?" Dib reached his hand up and ran a finger down Zim's neck, then back up to his face. He traced the line of Zim's jaw. Swatting Dib's hand away, Zim opened his eyes, eyeing human laying next to him.

"What are you staring at?"

"You." Zim leaned up so he was laying sideways with his head resting on his hand instead of the mattress.

"Why dun you like para..pra-p......aliens anymore?"

"I do." Dib fiddled with Zim's shirt as he thought about how to word it right. "I just wanted to make my dad happy."

"Thas dum." Growling, Dib buried his face in the pillows and murmured a response that Zim couldn't hear through the cotton. "Wha? Wha chew say?" After realizing he was only suffocating himself, he pulled his face out and took a breath he was unaware he was holding.

"I said, sumtimes you do things you dun like to make someones else happy. And I dinnunt wanna lose my dad. Gaz and dad are all I got. And..." Zim listened as Dib went on about his family, but not making a lick of sense in the process.

"What about me?"

"So I-.....Wha?"

"Me. You said all you got is Dib-sister and....the big one. What about me?"

"But you dun care about me." Zim scoffed and turned over so his back was facing the human.

"I could." Scooting closer Dib rapped his arms around Zim's waist to hug the green boy from behind.

"So now I got Dad, Gaz..." Leaning up so he was closer to Zim's antenna, he whispered. "...and you." Reaching out his arms and grabbing hold of the edge of the bed Zim tried to pull himself away from the human behind him.

"Let go, I gotta bathroom Dib-human."

"Irkins pee?" Zim sat up so his legs were hanging off the bed, but Dib still had his arms rapped around his waist.

"If it goes in, it comes out."

"Oooooh."

"Dib," Zim was feeling light headed. Thinking it was to much human contact Zim tried to pull himself out of Dib grip. "I feel weird. Leggo, bathroom." Dib laughed as he pulled Zim back down so he was half laying down and Dib could hover over him upside-down.

"I dun think so. I think it's..." He poked the aliens exposed belly. "Something else."

"My squiggly spoosh feels funny." Zim whispered.

"Thas called being horney."

"Wha." Dib laid his head on Zim's shoulder snuggling into the crook of his neck.

"Dun you remember sex ed." Reaching up Zim ran his hand through Dib hair. "Hmmmm." Zim smiled at the humans reaction.

"Skipped it. nasty heyuumans."

"Nuuuuu. It's fuuuuun." Zim shuddered at the feel of Dib's breath on his neck.

"How?" He said barely able to focus on anything other then the light brush of Dib lips as he spoke.

"Guess."

"I hate guesses games." Zim gasped as he felt Dib's tongue creep out and taste his skin. Even on his own planet Zim wouldn't even think to do the things he was doing now. Reproduction this way wasn't heard of anymore. Irkin's evolved and found a easier way to breed. "Stop."

"Why?" Dib asked, knowing full well he wasn't going to at this point. Zim got up to leave once again, but like the last time Dib pulled him back. Only this time Dib picked him up, set him down on the center of the bed, and straddled his hips.

"You're human."

"That again." Grabbing onto Zim's pants he yanked them to his knees.

"Stop! Dun look!" Zim covered himself with his hands, but Dib laughed loudly at the cute way Zim whined.

"Is the almighty Zim shy?" A wicked smile spread across his face. "Lemme see."

"No!" Zim rolled left and right trying to push Dib off him. "Dun look." He whined realizing Dib wasn't going anywhere.

"Why not?"

"I'm weird."

"I know." Removing his own clothes, he stared down at the alien under him. "I like weird." Just as Zim was about to protest Dib covered Zim's mouth with his own. Once Dib realized that he was going to get the response he wanted he pulled back for he could see Zim face clearly. With a sigh of defeat he tipped the aliens head to the side with a index finger, and lightly brushed his lips over the smaller boys cheek. After a few minutes, Dib pulled away and apologized, but Zim roughly slapped his hand over Dib's mouth.

"Don't." Standing up, Zim pushed Dib back so he could lay on top of the human and lowered his mouth over the other's. Maneuvering himself so he was comfortable, Dib let his hands slide up Zim's sides. Pulling back from the kiss, Zim hissed at the contact. Never before had he let anyone touch him like this, and surprisingly it wasn't unbearable. In fact he wanted more.

"No." Zim whined removing Dibs hands and placed them on his Antenna. "Touch here ok?" Dib nodded numbly.

It's been years since Dib has had sex, and he wants ashamed to say he was, excuse my French, Extremely horney. Ever since he came to term with the fact the he was bi he's been finding it hard to find a guy or a girl.

This moment was the moment Dib would never admit he dreamed of for years. He almost felt as if this was a dream.

And all through that night it felt like a dream to both of them. The question was would this dream turn out to be a nightmare.

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Yay *happy dance*, I finally started this story. It's been sitting in my head for decades and I've been putting it off forever.

Sorry to those who read my other fanfics. I've been so busy with finals, and finding a job, college, and drama with friends, and a comic me and my bff do together that my stories have been on the back burner. I promise that I will update them so soon as possible though.

Oh, I gotta say that if my grammar looks crappy-er then usual in some parts, that's because they're drunk. I wanted to slur their words but keep it understandable and simple for me. X3

Let me know if this story is any good so far, cause I liked the idea at first, but it's not turning out like I wanted. I feel like I rushed it. *crosses fingers* it'll get better!! I'm staying positive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Review!!! Why? Because I wont update until I get at least three reviews for each chapter. The more reviews I get, the faster I'll update, or I'll just think people don't like my story. (nothing new people)