A/N: I give up. I'm demoting myself from fic retirement to fic semi-retirement, because I still can't keep my hands off of Spike and Anya. Rejoice! ;O)
Disclaimer: They're [still] Joss's.
Solace. That was all the demon wanted from him. Someone who understood. Someone who could take the pain away for awhile. That's all the slayer had wanted from him, too, but the demon… this thing with her was different.
He hadn't counted on her coming to him later that night after shots of whiskey and swinging axes. Not after the look they'd exchanged before turning away from each other. But he'd returned to his crypt and found her there, more damaged than before, more willing to let him try and fix her.
He didn't have a clue why he fucked her again after all the trouble it had gotten them into a few hours before. He'd almost been decapitated on account of a bad day and a bottle of alcohol. But the fact that the demon girl came back without shame resonated big with him. He liked that she didn't care if everyone else was mad because of it. She needed something from him. He gave it to her.
The next time was a fluke. He ran into her days later on her way home from shopping. He offered to help her carry her groceries home, and she accepted with a cautious word against breaking her carton of eggs. When they got to her apartment, the eggs ended up on the kitchen floor. So did they.
After that, they started calling it a habit.
They didn't do it every day, but it was often enough so that it reminded him a little of what he and the slayer had. The frequency, though, was the only familiar thing. The demon let him undress her, kiss her, talk to her while he was moving in her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and called him nice things when she came. If they happened to be at her apartment, she'd let him stay the night with her in her bed. He liked the way it felt to make love to her, even though there wasn't really any love between them to be made.
Sometimes, the demon cried in her sleep. She didn't know it until he told her. He woke her up and dried her tears and asked her what was wrong. She didn't have an answer for that, so she kissed him and said, "I'm using you." He'd heard those words before. They'd shattered him. But this time, it was okay, and he smiled at her. "It's all right, luv. I'm using you, too." She nodded. "As long as you know."
Next time she cried, he held her, but he let her stay asleep.
END