A/N: My submission for the FML O/S contest. SM owns Twilight, I just play on what she started, no copyright infringement is intended. Thanks, as always, to my betas, twilly and uselessid90.

A/N 2: This story has been reworked by my new beta, kaydee1005. Thank goodness too, because the errors were just horrible and a tad bit embarrassing, lol! Thanks bb!

Today, the guy I've been texting told me he loved me and he couldn't wait to make me his wife, and he couldn't wait for us to have kids and grow old together. I've only known him for 3 days. FML

Engaging Texts

I slowly awaken from one of the best night's sleep I've had in a long time. Last night, Edward and I made the most passionate love. I can still feel his kisses on my lips as I turn over to find his note, next to a glass of orange juice and a single red rose.

Bella, my love,

I love you with all of my heart. I don't want to leave, but as I told you many times, I can't turn down this opportunity. I will only be gone three days, and I am sure it will be the longest three days of my life. I will call you every chance I get. I'll miss you terribly, and remember that I love you; you are my life now.

Love always, Edward

I knew he wouldn't have woken me up before he left; I had already told him I didn't think I could handle the goodbye. He was recently discovered and invited to be a studio musician out in New York for an upcoming movie. It was only a onetime thing, but millions of people will hear his long, elegant fingers moving across the keys of the piano. I am so happy for him, and beyond proud.

Edward and I have been together since high school and still live in the little town we grew up in. We started dating soon after I moved to Forks in my junior year, and have been together ever since. We even went to the same college in Seattle. Edward studied music, and I majored in romantic literature. There wasn't a lot to do with that degree, but I was fortunate enough to find a job as a librarian in Forks. After much discussion with Charlie, my father and police chief, he finally gave his blessing for me to move in with Edward. I wanted, rather than needed, his blessing.

Edward and I live in a modest apartment near the middle of town. He has been working as a piano tutor/instructor. He mostly gives private piano lessons to the good people of Forks and, occasionally, on the nearby reservation. It's a meager income, but he knew, someday, a better opportunity would come. This opportunity couldn't have come at a better time, as we were getting married in a month. We spent the last year saving our money for the wedding. It wasn't important to me to have a big wedding, but it was to Edward. Charlie had offered, many times, to pay for the wedding, but I couldn't allow that. We needed to do this on our own.

So, there I sat on the edge of our bed, drinking the orange juice he poured for me before he left for the airport. We hadn't spent much time apart, so this is going to be a tough weekend, and it's only Friday.

I decided to get up and face the day, starting with a shower, followed by a gourmet breakfast of frozen waffles.

As I drove to work, I realized how much I missed Edward already. I couldn't wait for this day to be over, so I could slide into my jammies and veg out in front of the TV.

Work went by slowly, and I even tried to call Edward on my lunch break, but his phone went straight to voicemail. He must have forgotten to turn it back on after the flight, I thought to myself. The afternoon dragged on even slower than the morning, but 5 o'clock eventually came, and I started the short drive home. I wondered to myself why I bothered driving as it would probably be quicker to walk.

When I got home, I went straight to the bedroom, threw on my most comfortable set of fluffy, warm jammies, and ordered a pizza. I did not want to cook. While I waited for my pizza to arrive, I checked the answering machine, hoping Edward would have called, but it was empty. I even checked the caller ID, but no one has called all day. I was already very lonely, so much so that I even hoped my mom, Renee, would call, and she always annoys the hell out of me.

A couple of hours later, I was stuffed and watching infomercials. So far, I have ordered the Sham-Wow, the Slap Chop, a rotisserie, and a set of really cool kitchen knives. Man, Edward is gonna be pissed when he finds out I bought all this stuff, especially on credit. Right now, I could care less, I missed him so much. I jumped when my phone buzzed alerting me of a text message. It was about time he contacted me; I hated not hearing from him. As I reached for my phone, I was suddenly bothered by the fact that he wasn't calling—I wanted to hear his voice so badly.

I looked at the display only to see it wasn't him, I didn't recognize the number or area code. Curiously, I opened the message.

Hello, Darlin', how are you this evening?

I sat for a moment trying to decide if I should answer it or not, and what to say if I did respond. I didn't even know who this person was. Boredom and loneliness got the best of me, and I replied.

Bored.

A few minutes go by, and I was sucked into another infomercial. I was considering purchasing a 'top-of-the-line', transforming and easy to store workout system sold by Richard Simmons, when my phone buzzed again. Annoyed, I picked up my phone and looked at the display.

Maybe I could help you with your boredom?

What the hell, I thought to myself, it couldn't hurt right? Our conversation continued late into the night. We talked of nothing and everything, but nothing personal at all. I had to keep reminding myself that no matter how comfortable he made me feel, that he was a stranger. At three am, I finally told my mystery friend, who obviously doesn't realize he didn't know me, that I had to head to bed. He bid me goodnight, and said he would talk to me in the morning. I silently thanked him for saving me from more crazy purchases and headed to bed.

I slept on Edward's side of the bed, in his shirt and sweat pants, and clutching his pillow so I could smell him.

I woke up feeling like I hadn't slept in a week. My body was sore and achy, and my hair was a disheveled mess. I must have had a fitful sleep. Usually, when I had a rough night, Edward was there holding me, telling me it was going to be alright, that it was just a bad dream. Damn, I missed him so much. I checked my phone again, and still no calls from Edward.

I huffed out loud as I climbed out of bed, too depressed to even take a shower. I ate cold pizza, still on the coffee table from last night, for breakfast and then tried to call Renee. After attempting to call the house, her cell, and Phil's cell unsuccessfully, I grumbled to myself and tossed my phone onto the couch. I couldn't believe I couldn't reach Renee, she always answered her phone.

I thought about taking a walk, but it was raining, so I decided to stay in. I tried to remember what hotel Edward said he would be staying in, but as hard as I tried, I couldn't. I thought about emailing him, but then my eyes caught his laptop sitting by the door. He must have forgotten it. I didn't know what to do. I tried his cell over and over again, each time it went straight to voicemail. Frustrated, the thoughts flew through my head faster than I could hear them all.

The most common were the thoughts of him cheating, but I knew Edward, and I trusted him completely. I kept telling myself that he was busy and would call when he could.

I avoided the TV like the plague, knowing myself all too well. I started to panic when I realized I had nothing to do, nowhere to go, and no one to talk to, but then my phone buzzed.

I jumped to it, frantically, just to realize it was my mystery friend from last night. At first I felt bothered by his intrusion, and then realized how easily the time passed last night as we texted back and forth for hours.

Good morning sunshine, hope you slept well.

I responded immediately.

Not really, I slept terribly. The bed felt too big.

Big huh? I could help you out. What the hell? I decided to play along.

Help, how? That was the only response I could come up with.

Hmmm…If you like big things, I can definitely help you out.

What is it with guys and the size of their 'things'? I couldn't help but question him. I mean, seriously, he didn't even know me, and I was still unsure if this was completely appropriate.

It's the truth, dearest. I happen to know how you like it. What the fuck? Now I am completely intrigued.

Oh? How do you know that, seeing as I don't actually know you? This is the first time I mention this fact to him.

I have my ways, sweetheart. He responded rather quickly this time.

Maybe you could enlighten me. I can't wait to hear his answer to this one.

Nope, my sources prefer to remain anonymous.

The texting and teasing went on and on, and around lunchtime, I was acutely aware of how many messages had been sent back and forth, and I was insanely thankful I had unlimited texting, or Edward was sure to have a fit.

Mystery man had to go for a while, but assured me he would text again. I finished my lunch and before heading in for a nap, I made sure to bring the phone charger into the bed room and plugged in my phone. I wasn't about to miss a call from Edward— this was if he ever got the chance to call.

I didn't know how long I had been asleep when I woke up to my phone ringing. I jumped out of bed and answered it without even looking to see who it was.

"Hey Baby, miss me?" the sweetest voice in the world crooned through the phone.

"Oh my god, Edward, of course I miss you! Why haven't you called me? I love you so much." I couldn't stop the words from flying out of my mouth.

"Calm down, Love. I haven't had a chance, my cell won't work here, and the hotel charges too much for long distance calls and then I forgot my laptop on top of everything. I'm fine. God, I miss you Bella."

"I love you, Edward. I don't know if I have ever felt so alone." A tear threatened to fall down my cheek.

"Shhh, I know, I love you too. Bella, if it helps, this is hard on me as well; I wish I could be there to hold you right now.

"Edward, how is it that you are calling now?" I couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't tried other ways of calling me before now.

"I was able to borrow a phone at the studio while we are on a short break, so I can't talk for long." I could hear the agony in his voice. "They are already calling us back in."

"Edward. I am so glad you called, I was so worried." Even his worried voice calmed me down.

"I love you, Bella. I will see you tomorrow night, I promise."

"I know. Goodbye, Edward, I love you so much."

"Goodbye, Bella."

And with that, he was gone. It was enough to put me into a deep, comfortable sleep—if only for the afternoon.

I finished my nap and got up around dinner time. I felt much better, so I decided to make some chicken noodle soup. I knew it would help comfort me; I was tired of being depressed.

As I was doing the dishes after I finished eating, my cell buzzed, alerting me of another text message. I was excited when I knew it was the mystery man, but I still felt a little guilty, even though our conversations have been completely innocent. There was just something familiar about him.

Our texting continued to be innocent and teasing, until I read his most recent text.

You ain't gotta do it yourself baby, I'm gonna give you the full service, you'll see.

What the fuck? Nice, very mature response, I thought to myself.

You have a dirty mouth, don't you?

When I feel insulted, yes.

Insulted? I didn't mean to offend you, Darlin'.

Then what did you mean? That was pretty crass.

It is a song; I thought it would be funny. I guess I was wrong.

Damn right you were wrong, especially since we don't know each other, remember?

I apologize, sincerely.

Who is it by, the song?

A boy band from the 90s trying to make a comeback at any cost.

You're listening to a boy band, from 15 years ago? Who?

New Kids on the Block.

No way! That is the funniest thing I have heard all year!

Thanks for the self-esteem boost, Darlin'!

No problem. Listen, I'm tired and would like to go to bed.

Can I join you?

Don't start, please.

I'm sorry, you're right. You just do something to me. Forgive me?

I suppose. Goodnight. Psycho. I need to stop this; it was starting to get out of hand.

I decided that since Edward wouldn't be calling tonight, I would turn off my phone and get some sleep. Hopefully I could sleep in and help pass the time until Edward came home.

I repeated my actions from last night. I wore Edward's jammies and slept curled up around his pillow. I couldn't help but think of him, alone in his hotel room, wondering what I was doing. I drifted off to sleep, with nothing on my mind except Edward, and how much I missed him.

I woke up at eleven am, shocked that it was so late already. Thank goodness. Edward's flight is scheduled to arrive at four this afternoon, and then he has a three hour drive back to Forks. That means Edward will be home in eight short hours-I could handle that, couldn't I?

I turned on my phone and busied myself with my regular Sunday chores, getting ready for the upcoming week. I did some laundry, planned this week's menu, and prepared to go grocery shopping.

As I was finishing my shopping list, a text came in. Rolling my eyes, I picked up my phone to see what the mystery man had to say now.

Your phone has been off, Darlin', I miss talking to you.

Sorry, I just wanted a good night's sleep without being bothered, nothing personal.

I understand. What are your plans today?

Nothing major, just my normal Sunday chores.

Sounds…domestic.

Yeah, I guess so. It's something that is important to me, taking care of my home and family.

Family?

I spent years taking care of both of my parents, separately. Sometimes I miss it and can't help falling into the same routine.

You sound very loving and caring. I feel a bit jealous.

Don't be, it isn't a big deal; it just comes naturally to me.

Well, I still feel like that's something I would want in life; someone who loves me enough to want to take care of me.

You'll find it.

Thanks, Darlin'. Guess what else I want?

I don't think I want to know.

I'll fill you up, up, I'll pump you up, up To the tip top, drip, drop, don't stop, don't stop

Oh dear God, why are you saying this to me? I'm horrified, Edward doesn't even talk to me like this!

It was supposed to be a joke! It is from the same song as the one I told you about last night.

Funny, right. But I don't think you could fill me up if you tried.

Fascinating, Darlin'. I'm seeing a whole new side to you.

Well, sir, don't get used to it.

The bantering went on for a while—until I had to leave to go shopping.

When I got home, I put the groceries away, switched the laundry around, and began putting the clean clothes away.

I looked at the clock and noticed it was six-thirty. I did a little happy dance and began running frantically through the house. I wanted to take a shower and shave before Edward got home. He would be home in half an hour, unless his flight was early, then I'd have even less time.

Just as I was getting ready to jump into the shower, and I mean literally jump, I heard another text message. I decided to end this stupid game.

I explained the situation and apologized for possibly leading him on. Of course he wouldn't let it go.

Can I just say one more thing, before we say goodbye?

I suppose, though I don't think it will make any difference.

I love you so much, Darlin'. I can't wait to make you my wife, to have kids and grow old together.

"FUCK!" I shouted out loud and slammed my phone shut, resisting the urge to hurl it across the room. Just then, there was a hard knock at my door. I screamed and nearly pissed my pants. Oh my God, how did he find me? I never even told him my name or where I lived. There was another knock at the door. I quickly realized there was no way that the psycho mystery man could possibly be here, so I headed to the door.

I hesitated for just a moment and reminded myself of my ludicrous thoughts. I opened the door to find Edward standing there, holding a bouquet of mixed roses, and tied to them was a brand new iPhone. My mouth opened and closed a few times, I was still stunned speechless. Edward put me out of my misery and spoke, "I meant what I said, I love you so much and can't wait to make you my wife; to have kids and grow old together."

Confused, I cocked my head to the side. "That was you? The whole time?"

"Yes, Baby." He was giving me his patented, panty-dropping smile; the one where the corner of his lip curls up and he smiles crookedly.

"B…but how?" I couldn't figure any of this out, and honestly, I didn't care too much right now. He was still standing outside the door, and I jumped into his arms and attacked his luscious lips.

He was chuckling beneath me, as my lips caressed his. "Bella, Love…I love you too. Maybe you could let your fiancé into his house now?"

Blushing, I hopped out of his arms and onto the landing outside our apartment. He grabbed my hand and gently tugged me inside. I took the roses as he extended them out to me again and kissed him in gratitude; He was always incredibly romantic.

"Are you going to explain to me how you did this, and why?" I was still smiling ear to ear.

"It's pretty easy to explain, Love. I was given a sign-on bonus when I got to New York, and I was informed that they wouldn't need me until Saturday after all. I went down to the nearest AT&T store and purchased an iPhone. I knew how badly you wanted one, so I couldn't resist. Originally, I was just testing it, but the way you reacted was priceless, so I played along. I can't even put into words how difficult it was for me to not tell you. But honestly, my phone did stop working; I still don't know what's wrong."

Tears filling my eyes, I hugged Edward as tightly as I possibly could and repeated over and over how much I loved him. It wasn't because of the phone, the flowers or the emotions of seeing him. He reminded me, in that first sentence, how much he really did love me and wanted to be with me forever. I already knew this, but he had never put it this way; I knew we would make it and be forever happy.

We stood there in the living room holding each other for dear life. I felt him start to grow underneath me as I pressed myself into him. "Bella, let me take you to bed. I need you so badly, and I don't want to take you here."

He didn't have to ask me twice! He carried me to our bed, my legs wrapped around his waist. He gently laid me on the bed and climbed in next to me. He quickly switched positions, hovering over me as he began to undress me. He took his time, and I with him.

It seemed we couldn't get enough of each other. He moved lovingly and painfully slow in and out of me for what seemed like hours. When the time came, I had lost count of my own orgasms, and he came deep inside of me. I think it was the most beautiful moment we had ever shared together.

After we both recovered from our post-coital bliss, Edward suggested that we get some food. He threw together some pancakes while we talked about our weekend apart. I didn't have much to share, but he told me about how the score he was working on didn't have a lot of piano since most of the music was fast-paced. That would explain all the free time to text me all day. He found out the score was for a movie called Breaking Dawn. It was to be full of action, but there was a bit of romance as well.

To put things mildly, he was invited to come back for the second part of the movie, and what he earned from this one weekend was enough to pay for our wedding—complete with honeymoon and then some. I thought to myself that it would also pay for all the crap I bought on Friday, but I would save that conversation for another day as I didn't want to ruin this moment.

We spent the rest of the night wrapped up in each other's arms, talking about the life we would be sharing together. I loved him, and he loved me; we were everything to each other. I couldn't dream of having a better life—mine was perfect. Edward helped to make it perfect.

A/N: Yes, I am/was a NKOTB fan back in high school, and morbid curiosity led me to check their newest CD out at the library. Let me say this, had they sung about this stuff back then, there would be no way in hell my mother would have let me listen to them. This CD is all about sex; it is raunchy and I love it. We all have our guilty pleasures. The song is called Full Service.

My original intention was to have this be more MAture, but the story took me in another direction. I hope you like it! Please review and let me know what you think. Be sure to check out the other entries! http:/www . fanfiction . net/community/FML Contest Fics/77195/ Follow me on Twitter! https: /twitter (dot) com/melonscraps