so this is a short, randomly updated when I feel like it, ficelet series that I will be making into "skits" on my youtube account. But that might be a while. I have to style my hair for it and that's a bitch on it's own... anyway, hope you guys like.
DISCLAIMER!!! I! OWN! NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!
20 Reasons To Hate: Reno Sinclair
Over the years I have become a connoisseur of people... more like, I have become an expert of finding the smallest of things about those around me that manage to drive me up a wall. Not hard for a guy like me, you know.. some one who actually enjoys their silence and solitude... For example, you know that clearing their throat thing people will do when they try to get your attention, despite you already looking at them? Yeah... or how about leaving the toilet seat up? I'm a guy, I know, I shouldn't care about that sort of thing... specially since me and my roomie don't have to worry about it. But it's something my mother used to spaz out about and I guess she effectively trained me to make sure it was always down... well... more of beat it into me... I'm terrified of spatulas to this day.
Anyway... there is one person that manages to annoy me more than any of the others... I also happen to be unlucky enough to share an apartment with the the guy... his name... is Reno Sinclair. Why? I'll tell you why...
He's loud- the man can't shut his mouth! My gawd! I have never met anyone that talks that fucking much! It's disgusting! Inhuman! It should be illegal to talk that much! He doesn't have a damn ounce of volume control! EHHH!!!!
He's a Turk- do I honestly have to explain? I mean, come on. Let's look at what they did to Midgar. Yeah.... uh-huh... and guess who had to clean it up... me. Damn bastards.
He's a slob...-He leaves his underwear on the floor. I tripped over a pair that was in the living room this morning. And I don't even want to know where the white stains in the black pair come from...
He's a Turk- They're the scum of humanity. Do you even know what they do to people?! It's disgusting...
He's the worst at jokes- his jokes are like listening to a cat die. Hell, his voice is like the baying of dying cattle, gone off to slaughter and too bloated for their own damn good.
He's a Turk- Yes, this comes up again. Why? Because... I could rant for hours about why I hate Turks... the main reason: They work for Rufus Shinra.
He's the horniest person I have ever met- I thought Zack was bad! No, this man can't even keep it in his pants for five seconds. You know how they say the average male thinks about sex every three seconds? Yeah, he thinks about it every second of every day.
He's a Turk- ... you know why.
He comes up with the worst nicknames- You think some one with his sense of humor would be good with nicknames. Think again. No, he calls me a number of things: Chocobo Head, Ice Queen, Cloudy-poo, Cloudy-kins, Cloudy-woudy... the list goes on. And don't even get me started on what he calls Rude.
He's a Turk...
He's obsessed with his hair- No man should spend that much time on his hair. Mine only takes a half hour on a bad day. Him? No. He takes three fucking hours to style his hair. He even uses a specially made shampoo and conditioner... Calls it his baby... The man is disturbed.
He's a Turk.
He can't take anything seriously- He laughed at Zack's funeral... know how I know? Rude told me. That man would be laughing even in death. Hell, he's like the Mercrucio of this day and age... His dying words would be a joke about his own employer.
He's a Turk.
He's a fucking tank- I ran him through with a buster sword more than enough times to do even over kill. And STILL the bastard gets up to walk! AND HE EVEN DOES IT WITH A SMIRK!!! THAT SELF RIGHTEOUS BASTARD!!!!
He's a Turk.
He's like walking sex- Everything he does just drips with sexuality. It's disturbing... and yet... never mind. Not going there.... Despite how tempting it is. I have a strict policy... Do NOT date former enemies....
Do I seriously need to say it?
He has the tightest ass I have ever- ...... FUCK! NOT AGAIN!
He's a TURKey....
Anyway, I hope I enlightened you to the world of Reno... annoying, no? Anyway, despite all of this, he managed to grow on me... fond little bastard that he is.... anyway... he just got out of the shower so... I have a little something to take care of..... yeah... awkward... anyway...
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Bye.