Hello ladies and gentlemen. I am your host, Jeff Blue with your host Jeff Blue! Welcome to the show where I'm your host, Jeff Blue with my assistant, H'ima Fraud.

Anyways, read on summoners, read on…. Or champions. Whatever the matter…. MOVING ON!

Chapter 1: The League

I trudged on the rocky road as trees towered over me. I don't usually go hiking in the forests, but when I do, I'm traveling to somewhere important. This particular location was very secluded as it was a very large company. It's not really a company, more like the government. This is, after all, the League of Legends.

Lately I've been having both social and financial problems. My previous job required me to just basically collect all garbage from the forest. This was a solitary job and didn't really bring in some dough. I first heard of this 'League of Legends' when a poster flew into my face.

I was tempted to just pick it up then throw it into my garbage bag until I saw the title. "The League of Legends! Join and become a summoner working with other summoners and champions! No formal interview required!" The one thing that caught my attention was that no interview was required. I haven't had much job experience since I was relatively young in my mid-20s. What sucks the most was that almost all jobs required job experience which is really hard to get if you hadn't had a job before.

I entered the gigantic double-doors of the League of Legends. I noticed not many people came through the main doors. Perhaps there were many other side doors? I shook off the question and continued in.

When I stepped through, I couldn't believe my eyes. Even though I was used to seeing daily phenomenon because of magic, I was still surprised. The main hall was larger than a baseball stadium, maybe even twice its size. A floating chandelier emitted a glowing blue aura that reflected ominously against the black marble floor. Pillars in a symmetrical pattern held the golden ceiling covered with intricate designs.

I stared for a full five minutes before I composed myself. Many summoners looked at me funny because of my reaction. I walked towards a hallway to my right side, hiding my embarrassment. Just before I reached the door, above it showed a sign that said inside the hallway led to the champions' dorms. Before I could turn around, someone, or rather something crashed into me.

I was about to get up and apologize before something soft and fluffy brushed up against my face. Before I could turn around the fluffy being in questionlet out a yelp. My ears registered a sound of wind whistling past rapidly followed by the weight on my back lightening.

The being on my back started to get off of me. Its hand pressed against my head as I… hand? Didn't I just feel a fluffy thing on my face before? I got up after the being got off. I turned to it and couldn't believe my eyes.

Standing before me was a brunette-haired woman that wore very revealing clothing. She stood at 5"8' and had dark tanned skin. She wore a brown bra strap that was covered with golden fur around her arms. She also wore brown-furred boots that were the same colour as her hair that was tied in a ponytail. Along with the clothing was a cloth half the size of her arm from her hip. Underneath the cloth was… I'd assume a thong. I'd rather not look. She also had arm gauntlets on each arm with designs in white all across the gauntlets. She had white stripes painted all across her body.

I must've stared at her too long for her liking because she started to shift a little. She finally said, "Hey, sorry about that. Didn't see you there."

I snapped out of my slight stasis and tried my best not to stutter. "H-hi. It's cool, didn't see you there either…"

We both shared an awkward silence before I finally broke it. "By the way, do you have any idea of where I can sign up to be a summoner?"

She replied with a growl. "Mmm, a new summoner. This will be interesting. The sign-up centre is across the hall with the blood-red light on the right, down a few metres then turn left, make a U-turn, turn left, hold the right wall until you feel it give way, then down the stairs. At the bottom of the stairs turn right, left, then right."

I was thoroughly lost but tried to hide it. "What...?"

She sighed. "It's right, left, then right. Then make a U-turn where…. you'll find out soon enough."

I stared blankly at her until I uttered, "Thanks… I think."

She growled lightly again then winked at me. "I'll see you soon enough, soon-to-be summoner. Remember to summon me soon!" With that, she turned and…. did she just turn into a cougar? She leaped down across the main hall towards a group of champions that were gathering.

I continued to watch her prowl down the hall, trying to comprehend what she just said. I reminded myself, 'Stop it, you'll have time to fantasize about it after you become a summoner.' With that, I briskly walked towards the hall she talked about.

I tried to remember which ways she told me to follow. 'Alright, I think that she said to turn right then left and then make a U-turn… Screw that! I'll just continue forwards. I think she said to hold the right wall until it gives way…'

I turned right then saw that the hall was long and winding. It seemed as though the hall expanded and narrowed into the dark. It was an endless hall. I took a deep breath. I then hugged the right wall and felt for it to give way.

After what seemed like hours but in reality is just a few minutes, the wall became loose and started to turn. I then pushed it and fell. I tumbled down the winding stairs, bumping my head multiple times on the way down.

After a few hundred more steps, I finally tumbled onto the hard welcoming ground. I groaned as bruises littered my body from head to toe.

I staggered to my feet before a voice came. "Hey, you okay?"

Pain wracked my body as I tried to twist my head towards the voice. The voice said again, "Don't try to move your body too much. You just tumbled down 70 feet, which I have to admit was very cool. I'm gonna post it on the summoner forums… Oh right! Your injuries! Hold on a sec…"

Before I could protest, a blue aura surrounded my body and the pain intensified for a few seconds before it vanished. All signs of tumbling down the stairs disappeared.

I stood up and in front of me was a man about the same age as me. A purple cloak covered his entire being only revealing his mouth, which was curved up in an awkward smile, almost as if an evil plotting smile…. The only skin that showed was his mouth and hands. His feet were also covered in… green sneakers. If I remember correctly, summoners in the main hall were wearing blue and other assorted colours for their shoes.

Before I could say anything, the man spoke up. "Like I asked before, you okay?"

I stared at him blankly. "I just fell down a hundred steps with bruises that used to be all over my body and I think I had a fractured arm. Of course I'm okay!"

Apparently the man doesn't understand sarcasm as he answered back with, "Oh, that's great. Guess you didn't need my healing after all. I guess I'll just reverse the process and-"

"Wait! I think it's best that you don't reverse it. Better to feel better than bruised, right?"

The man pondered for a little too long for my liking. "I suppose you're right. There goes some of my mana. By the way, what's your name?"

My mind froze. I couldn't remember the last time someone called me by my name. I don't think I even have a name! What do I do… "Ummm, I don't… really have a name."

"Oh… well that might be a problem in the future… How about I call you… YowzaH?"

I was slightly confused by the name. "YowzaH? That's not a real name, is it?"

The man released an audible sigh. "YowzaH, you're not supposed to use a real name here. In the League, everyone refers to other summoners by their summoner name, in my case Hyrulianfan. Yours is YowzaH. I'll introduce you to the other summoners soon enough. Speaking of which, where were you headed? I haven't seen you before."

I slightly shifted my feet. "I'm… not really a summoner. At least, not yet. I was going to sign up to become a summoner, but I'm not really sure where I can go to sign up… I asked a… cougar/woman where to sign up but she gave… interesting directions."

Hyrulianfan's brow slightly burrowed up. "A cougar/woman? You must've been talking about Nidalee. She usually answers people correctly and to the point. She doesn't really mix up instructions…. Nevertheless, I'll just show you the way."

"Thanks, I think. Lead the way."

"Actually…. We can't really walk there…"

I merely stared at him. "What do you mean, 'can't walk'?"

He released another sigh. "I hate explaining these things…. To prevent animals and other… beings from moving about and 'accidentally' becoming a summoner/champion, we have to use magic to teleport to places. Some rooms of the League are located in another dimension, Kog'maw room being an example."

I simply stared at him, waiting for answers to my unasked questions. However, he seemed to ignore it and continued on. "So anyways, I'll need you to hold my arm while I chant the spell. Just don't get too excited about it. I'm not gay."

I couldn't create a comeback for his statement so I silently grabbed his arm while he muttered something under his breath. Within the blink of an eye, we were suddenly in a circular room. My stomach felt queasy from the sudden teleportation, but I was able to hold in the bile that slowly rose into my throat,

The walls of the room were blood red and had stones inside of holes in the wall. As we walked past the stones, I noticed they glowed blue and were ovular. It had inscriptions that I couldn't understand for the life of me. We moved to the centre of the circular room where a circular desk sat. Inside the desk was just a young woman dressed in a black dress covered with laces and a blouse that hung from her shoulders. "Hi, how may I help you? Oh, hi Hyrulianfan."

I was about to speak when Hyrulianfan interrupted me. "Hey Mel, this here man wants to join the League. Give him the forms."

The woman supposedly named Mel seemed surprised, but went under the desk to look for some forms. "We haven't had many summoners lately, that's why she looked surprised," Hyrulianfan whispered to me. I nodded slightly and patiently waited for her to come back up.

Mel finally came back up for air and in her arms was a small folder no thicker than 10 sheets of paper. I was about to release a sigh of relief. I thought that the application process would include multiple forms. However, my sigh was going to be restrained. She opened the folder and immediately it expanded until it became as thick as her head, physically speaking.

I gaped at the forms that mocked me, waiting for me to sign it. Both Mel and Hyrulianfan waited for me, urging me to take a pen and sign. I picked up a pen that was lying next to Mel's hand. Neither her or Hyrulianfan moved an inch. It seemed they were both going to wait for me. This will be a long day…

Blahblahblah. Ze first chapter haz been feeneeshed. Vell then, ve shall see ven the next chaptur vill come out. Bon soir, mes amis. And R&R =3

O ya. In case someone (which will be no one) wants to know my summoner name, it's YowzaH2…