As some might know already, I absolutely despise the aaron/ed partnership in emmerdale. Honestly, they swapped Jackson for that? No harm to the actor himself its just the character I don't like and the storyline. So if anyone came here looking for a mushy fanfic of that pairing…. I'm afraid you'll have to look elsewhere.

Disclaimer: obviously don't own the characters but in my own opinion, neither does emmerdale since they killed Jackson and changed Aaron.

April 2012

Aaron stands in the airport near the departure gate for France, ticket clutched firmly in hand. He's smiling, he looks happier than he's ever been. The smile widens as a dark skinned young man walks towards him, an identical ticket in hand and a very good looking face with a smile that's even bigger than Aarons if possible. He takes Aarons hand and intertwines their fingers before muttering half shyly half excitedly "you ready to go?" Aaron replies "Definitely".

They leave through the departure gate still smiling, still holding hands and not looking behind them once. But behind them someone watches them go. This person tries to call after Aaron but no sound comes out, he also tries to run after him but his legs won't move. Tears start to fall in desperation and frustration but still nothing turns Aarons head. The scene changes and the desperate onlooker is now in darkness and silence, surrounded by pine walls; a coffin. But that isn't what worries the onlooker the most; its that the man he loves is about to jet off any minute and he has to do something to stop him. Suddenly the wooden walls start to close in, air becomes sparse. The onlooker can't breathe, he can't move, can't stop it, and all he can think to scream out with his final breath is-

"AARON! NO PLEASE DON'T!"

Jackson Walsh shoots bolt right up in bed, sweat streaming from him, breathing heavily in the darkness of his bedroom, heart going ninety in his chest. Slinging his legs out of bed and raising his two hands to rest his face in them hes ashamed to feel tears mingled in with the sweat on his face.

His eyes shut again to block out the sudden glare of a lamp flashing on to his left. Slowly squinting to allow his eyes to adjust Jackson almost fell out of bed with both shock and relief at the sight which was looking back at him full of worry and concern.

"Jackson, are you-" Aaron starts but then stops, taking in Jacksons tearstained face, sweaty hair and scared but still oh so beautiful brown eyes. "What's wrong, baby?" Aaron continues softly, hoisting himself up so that he's sitting up and looking straight at Jackson, who still looks in full disbelief that his lover is not on a plane to France, but beside him in their own bed in their own home, like he has been just about every night these past two years. As Jackson makes no reply but looks away Aaron positions himself so that he's behind Jackson chest to back and wraps one arm around Jacksons waist and the other around his neck, resting his chin on his shoulder. Jackson shuts his eyes contentedly, his breathing starting to calm. For a few minutes nothing is said. Then Aaron gently kisses the knotted scar on the back of his lovers neck, one of the many reminders of Jacksons near death and near permanent paralysis experience on the train tracks 3 and a half years before. "Bad one tonight, babe?" he mutters. Even a year and 9 months after his amazing complete full recovery Jackson still experienced nightmares. Aaron had been brilliant; both through his recovery and through the nightmares, even after that one time Jay had hit him square in the eye during a particularly violent dream. "We're even now." Aaron had grinned when a shocked Jackson had woken up to find his partner with a shiner. All the way through the joyful but painful recovery no matter how frustrated Jay got when he couldn't do something properly, no matter how many times Jay yelled at him to go and find a proper boyfriend instead of settling for a pitiful cripple, Aaron still stood firm and supportive. He loved Jackson; no amount of verbal abuse could change that. Whether Jackson was in a wheelchair or walking was of no difference to his feelings for him, but he knew how badly Jay wanted it, so he did nothing but constantly support him over those hard months. In the end it had been successful, Aaron had never cried so much as the first time he'd witnessed his boyfriend taking his first shaky steps unaided towards him.

Jackson was fine now, he still couldn't run any marathons but there were no physical signs that he'd been in an accident at all, except the scars, which Jackson loathed. As Aaron kissed the one on his neck his eyes opened. "Worse" he sighed sadly. Aaron said nothing, willing him on. "It's about… you know, "the thing" I was planning on doing before the recovery?" he felt Aaron tense slightly behind him. "The thing" was a subject they tried to avoid talking about, it being Jackson's planned assisted suicide, which thankfully didn't have to happen after Jackson felt some tingles in his toes.

Before he continued he found himself being lowered gently onto his back and Aaron lying on him, arms folded on Jackson's chest with chin rested on them, blue eyes signalling him to go on. "Well… we'd gone through with it. I died. You and mum got charged but went free. But then you started blaming yourself, started…" he stopped and shut his eyes briefly, taking in a deep breath to steady himself "…started self-harming. But thankfully you got help…" Jackson wanted to stop there. The rest would be too hard to say. But Aaron still encouraged him on, a bit disturbed by the dream but still determined to hear it all, if only to give Jackson some peace of mind. "Go on."

"….you met this bloke, Ed. At first you thought he was a bit of a tosser, but then, you got interested. Started seeing him, you got really into him. You got in trouble with the law again, and did a runner with him to France, forgetting everything that'd happened here… including me." Aaron looked oddly at Jackson and turned over to lie on his side facing him, head resting on his now propped up arm. In that one moment of movement Jackson could glimpse the flash of gold on Aarons left third finger identical to his own and could also half read the black Celtic writing on the left hand side of Aarons chest, only seeing as far as "Jac." Running his fingers gently along Jay's jawline Aaron asked "Do you mean that prat whose bus I fixed?" "Yeah, the one who's been sniffing round your arse like a dog in heat these past 3 weeks." Jackson couldn't keep the bitterness out of his voice. "I've told him I'm married, I've told him I love my husband, and just yesterday I told him to piss off cause he was starting to bug me." Aaron said softly. Jackson looked at him amazed, Aaron hadn't told him about yesterday. Jackson sighed "I'm sorry Aaron; I don't know where that dream came from. Please don't think that I think you're unfaithful because I wouldn't think that in a million years. I'm sorry for sounding selfish." "How do you mean?" "I mean for sounding like I don't want you to find anyone else if I die first." Silence filled the room for a moment.

"If that does happen Aaron, of course don't be afraid to fall again. Just make sure it's someone who'll look after ya. In the dream you seemed to make the right choice after I died, I just had some stupid selfish feelings of being second best, that's all."

With that Jay turned over, intent on faking going back to sleep but found himself once again on his back a second later, this time with his husband straddling him across his waist and his face about half a foot above Jays. Jackson forced himself to look into Aarons eyes. They weren't angry or annoyed, just a little sad, but so full of love for the man lying beneath him. "You have some strange dreams." Aaron muttered and before Jackson could reply Aaron crashed his mouth against his husbands in a passionate but loving kiss which Jackson was only too happy to return. When they finally broke for air Aaron leaned his forehead against Jacksons, pools of blue fixed on brown and his fingers still clutched at Jays tight brown curls at the sides on his head. "You… come… second best… to no one!" Aaron punctuated each word with a gentle kiss. "You're my whole world, I don't tell you that nearly enough." "Yes you do, well, you show it anyway. No one could ever have done more for me than you did. You deserve a medal for putting up with me." Jackson said blinking away tears as he did. "I don't want one, I just want you, always have, always will, even if you do go before me, which at your age seems likely, old man." Aaron joked, trying to ward away tears himself. Jackson scoffed "Well then how about I go and ask young Ed if he'd like an "old" man to teach him some tricks." He jokingly made to get up but was shoved back down by Aaron, who pinned his arms up above his head. "No chance." He growled possessively "you're mine." With that he started attacking Jays face with kisses, kissing his eyes, nose, ears, mouth, anywhere he could reach. Jays hands glided up and down Aarons bare back and a few times travelled teasingly very far south, causing Aaron to growl satisfactorily. Aaron nipped and kissed his partners neck; Jackson knew he was going to have some amount of purple marks on his neck in the morning, but he couldn't have cared less. Aaron let his hands explore his husband, but as he went to raise the hem of Jays vest as usual Jay was a bit insecure and pushed his hands away. Aaron looked down a little sadly at him. This happened nearly every single time and it took all Aarons' encouragement to make Jay allow him to remove his vest, which he eventually would, each time looking shy and ashamed.

"I want to see you, baby. Please let me see you." Jackson hesitated as usual before slowly nodding his approval and allowing Aaron to lift the vest off him slowly, kissing every bit of skin as it was slowly revealed. When it was fully off Jackson automatically crossed his arms over his chest and stomach but Aaron gently uncrossed his arms and held them pinned at his sides and sat up a little higher on his husband to observe him. He gently let go of Jackson's arms and allowed his fingers to trace every single scar that had laced Jackson body since the accident and the surgeries afterwards, especially on his top half. Every time they made love since the recovery Jackson was always so insecure about his body and tonight's dream had just made it worse.

But Aaron never cared about the scars, just like he hadn't cared when Jay was paralysed in a wheelchair. As nice a bloke as Flynn was, he could never see him as he saw Jay. All he ever saw when he looked at Jay was his amazing, gorgeous boyfriend, and now his life partner. A million Flynn's or Eds could never replace Jackson.

Aaron started kissing each one of the scars, causing Jay to tense. He lifted his head back up to lie at Jackson's ear. "You're so gorgeous." He breathed "Don't ever, ever, think you're not perfect, because you are."

Jackson turned to look at his husband, tears now evident in his eyes. "I love you so much." He half choked out. "I love you too, and don't ever forget it". With that their kisses turned more passionate and wanting, causing Aaron to remove further garments off his partner's body, this time with no objections.

Later on they were tired, spent, but happy. Aaron lay with his back against Jackson's chest with Jackson's arms around him, playing with Jays fingers. Jackson just held him, a picture of pure bliss on his face. Aaron lifted Jays hand to rest it on the left hand side of his chest "Feel that? It's still bloody racing." Jackson smiled, feeling Aarons heart fly under his fingers. Aaron paused "It's yours, you know. Always will be." He said, gripping Jays other hand. While it secretly overwhelmed Jackson, he made light of it; "It'd want to be, it's got my name on it." He joked, tracing the black lettering of Aarons tattoo. Aaron smirked and playfully gave him a dig. "Just to ask, Jay, why in the name of hell would I want to move to France of all places? I was crap at French at school, they eat snails and what's more there probably isn't a decent chip shop anywhere." He chided playfully "And would it have been so hard for you to dream of me going with someone like Bradley Cooper instead of flaming Ed? I mean bus boy seems an alright bloke but he can't take a hint to save his life."

Jackson laughed lazily, eyelids starting to droop. He placed a gentle kiss on the side of Aarons head "So you would have definitely rejected his offer of exotic France?" he whispered, his voice heavy with sleep. Aaron paused for a second before turning over to face Jay "I would've said-…" he stopped, seeing his soulmate had fallen asleep. He smiled and gently laying a kiss on Jay's sleeping mouth he finished his sentence "J'aime Jackson."

With that he curled up on Jackson's chest, like he had done many times before and would continue to do multiple times for the rest of his life, and went to sleep.

Like Dallas, it was all a dream. So I like to believe anyway. Please read and review. Aarson forever!

Ministryofchaos