Bass GSX: Hey, folks, me again.
Phil: Yeah, it's us...who're we?
Marcus: Forget it.
Pent: Where are we?
Sonic: Megaman authoring section.
Bass GSX: In honor of Revokov's INCREDIBLE Supercondensed series, I would like to bring you...MEGAMAN ZERO SUPERCONDENSED!
Sonic: He doesn't own Megaman Zero, or the Supercondensed idea.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's 100 FRICKIN' years after X and Zero WHUPPED UP on BIGBADEVILGOLDSigma.
Ciel: We have to get to Zero! PLOTLINE and all that.
Soldiers: Okay.
BUTBUTBUT, they underestimated the power of Cyclops death robots. Zero MAGICALLY comes to LIFE and KICKS all the asses of the robots with his MAD SNIPING SKILLZ.
Zero: Who's the bitch now?
Cyclopses: FUX0R, we'll get you next time
Suddenly, a giant robot appears, but Zero beats it down with his new Z-saber he got from a COMPUTER.
Bill Gates: HOLY CRAP I gotta make me one of those!
Zero: Who's the bitch NOW?
However, when he RESTURNS with Ciel, he finds out all is NOT what it seems...
Ciel: I need you to be an errand boy.
Zero: Bizawizotch!
Zero KICKS the HAIRY ASSES of several bosses, and returns to find more bosses.
Ciel: Oh, no...big bad MEANIE bosses. I think you can do it, but be careful yeah right LIKE I CARE.
Zero: Okay.
Zero realizes that these bosses are INCREDIBLY PREDICTABLE but DIES fighting them several times.
Fefnir: Hah, Zero, you're red like me but you still suck.
Zero: Oh, yeah? (kills him)
Fefnir: Crap. He dies.
Zero then gets MYSTERIOUSLY (not really) asked to come to the other bosses.
Harpuia: I'm bad, I'm bad! Not only am I difficult to beat, my name is unpronounceable!
Zero: Like that last word? (kills him)
Harpuia: FUX0R, I'll be back...
Some BIZNATCH is setting EXPLODINGBOMBSOFCUDDLYDEATH at the factory...
Phantom: Grrrr, I'm a gigantic coward!
Zero: Who cares? (kills him)
Phantom: Oh, yeah? He dies.
Zero then moves on to the Lair of the Fox...
Leviathan: Hey, pretty boy...
Zero: Whoa, damn! You're hot!
Leviathan: HAH! You have fallen for my womanly charm! (she kills him)
Zero: Shit, where's Dr. Light's upgrades when ya need 'em?
Because it's a VIDEO GAME, Zero MAGICALLY comes BACK to LIFE. But, he has to PAY a LIFE TOKEN THINGY.
Zero: HAHAHA! I'm back.
Leviathan: WTF?
Zero: Although you are unbelievably hot, I must kill you. He does.
Leviathan: Aww...right when we got to the good part...She dies.
Zero: Alright, Mr. Mysterious Villain, I'm getting bored...
A weird sparkly thing comes and makes weird MUZAK, but then "opens" up NEO ARCADIA, the most RETARDED name for a BADGUYLAIR ever.
Zero: Man, these missions are getting gay.
Suddenly, the door OPENS and reveals a GIANTBADSLUGSLUDGETHINGOFDEATH (and General Unhappiness).
Sludge Thing: Glorp! Glob, blug borp, yak!
Zero: Yeah, whatever. (kills it)
ST: Boo hoo.
This MAGICALLY makes the FINAL DOOR to Gay Lair open UP. A bunch of the EASY bad PEOPLE are behind ELEVATOR DOORS.
Bosses: Look at us! We're good as new!
UNFORTUNATELY for them, Zero KICKS their asses AGAIN.
Zero: Who's the bitch NOW?!
THEN, MORE doors open MYSTERIOUSLY and Zero makes it to the BADMEANEVILWEIRDLOOKING-X copy.
Four Guardians: Nyah, nyah! We won't let you past!
Zero: Bizzlewizzledizzleinthehizzlefoshizzleniznatchnotchniotches!
After Zero utters this BIZZARRE and MESSED UP word, COPY X appears, NOT even looking REMOTELY cool.
Copy X: Tremble with terror, you are finished!
Zero: Piss off. (kills him)
Copy X: You killed me, now I get all scary and shit! He does.
Zero: DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!
While Zero has MAD HACKING SKILLZ, his ATTEMPTS are FUTILE. All he gets is BADLY HURT and Copy X gets nastier.
Copy X: GAHAHAHAAHA!
Zero: DIE, please!
HOWEVER, Zero gets an INCREDIBLY lucky SHOT and KILLS Copy X.
Copy X: I may have lost, but you still suck donkeys!
Zero: Dunno, don't care!
The WHOLE place goes KABOOMIES, and Zero only BARELY makes it out. As he faceplants into the sand, SPARKLYSHINYNICEPRETTY X appears.
Hologram X: Zero, this world is hard. I don't like fighting, and you're...not listening. Whatever. He leaves.
Cyclopses: Hey, Zero, guess who?
Zero: Uhh...DIE? (kills them all)
SUDDENLY, there's a REALLY POINTLESS CUTSCENE.
Zero: WHO'S THE BITCH NOW?
THE CREDITS ROLL
Zero: Alright, I'm serious, who is the bitch now?