A/N: Thank you to all who read and reviewed my previous story, "The Longer I Run"! I apologize for any confusion that was caused by re-uploading it. FanFiction seemed to be having some difficulties, and I know it wasn't just me, so… again, I'm sorry if ya'll thought it was something different! I appreciate all the feedback and hope I can continue to entertain!
For this one, I thought I'd write our two girls in a situation that they didn't just seamlessly mesh into. Thought it would be fun to have them playing house. Fair warning, it gets a little cheesy at the end but with how the series ended, I think it's allowed. :)
Still don't own shit, but wouldn't it be nice?
"Playing House"
With long, albeit jerky strokes, she glided the machine over the beige carpet. This vacuum cleaner was much quieter than the one she had at her apartment and it really wasn't working for her, to be honest. Oh yes, of course Maura's vacuum, top of the line like everything else, worked just fine but it wasn't doing a very good job of drowning out Jane's thoughts. Not like she needed.
After all, why else would she be vacuuming, in her work clothes, on a Tuesday evening, if she wasn't trying to avoid thinking about something?
She sighed, finishing her task and feeling that much more dissatisfied. Now what was she supposed to do? She scanned her eyes around the living room, noting that the place was spotless as usual. Although, it might've been a tad more cluttered than the past, as a few boxes of Jane's things still lingered in the corner, yet to be tucked away, but Jane still floundered for something, anything, to do to keep busy. She curled her nose slightly at the boxes, anything but that. She hated unpacking, really and truly hated it.
It had been three weeks and four days since Jane had officially moved into Maura's Beacon Hill home (she would deny that she was keeping track of the time to anyone who dared ask, however). They'd been dating for four months, and after a long period of spending their time between Jane's apartment and here, they'd decided that for practical reasons living together would be best. Well to be more accurate, Maura had decided this and Jane agreed wholeheartedly, secretly happy that Maura had brought it up so she didn't have to.
So there she stood in the middle of her new home and yet, she was discontent. Very discontent. Of course, she hadn't really assumed that such a big change would come easy, no matter how well she and Maura knew each other, but she hadn't expected it to stress her out this much and to be honest, she felt a little silly.
The charm of it had worn off pretty quickly and within the first week Jane could tell that it was going to take some getting used to – though their schedules were very similar when it came to their careers and their friends, they had very different routines when it came to actually living. Jane knew she could be, well, somewhat sloppy, at times, but actually living with Maura had made her realize just how different they were from one another. Not in a bad way, per se, as Jane always knew that she and Maura came from very different backgrounds and had strikingly different personalities. Despite their differences, they had still clicked somehow. At least until they'd begun sharing everything.
Jane could pinpoint the beginning of her unease to one of the biggest things to get over - sharing a bathroom. It had been years, and Jane presumed possibly even longer in Maura's case - considering her upbringing, that either one of them had to share a bathroom with someone else. Growing up, Jane had shared a bathroom with both of her brothers as well as her parents and being a Rizzoli, one could imagine how that sometimes went. There had been many times when Jane had stomped out of the bathroom in a huff, hair still lathered with shampoo and towel wrapped around her torso, as she shouted about the lack of hot water (usually due to Frankie's unnecessarily long showers that occurred during his teen years).
That had been a long time ago and Jane had lived on her own for much of the time since then, having gotten her first shitty little apartment soon after graduating the academy. She couldn't really deny that she'd developed her own set of little habits, things that came as a result of living on her own with no one else to account for or worry over.
Maura wasted no time in pointing out Jane's own little quirks, done it in record time. Sure, the suggestions were polite enough, but Jane could read through to the underlying annoyance in Maura's tone when she had asked that Jane not get toothpaste all over the cap (in her defense, she had been running late), and Maura had even smiled a little when she berated her for leaving her wet towel on the floor. She had rubbed that one, magical spot behind Jane's ear as she mentioned, so discreetly that Jane barely even took her focus off of that consistent circular rubbing going on behind her ear, that using the cap of the Listerine still wasn't as sanitary as one would imagine and if Jane could just use the cup sitting beside the bottle instead, that would be appreciated. None of this was malicious, in fact, it stemmed solely from Maura being used to quiet and living alone, despite the Rizzoli whirlwind that had blown into her life years ago. Old habits died hard.
Of course this didn't mean that Maura didn't have her own quirks, but Maura's quirks were of a slightly different variety. Maura had been more than overwhelmingly accommodating to shifting her things around to make room for Jane's in more aspects and areas than she had to – something that Jane had thanked her for – but that seemed to exclude the bathroom, at least at first.
Jane wasn't oblivious to the fact that Maura had enough cosmetic products to last an entire lifetime, but she had never really… Every single drawer in Maura's long vanity was packed with foundations and eyeshadow, every color Jane could think of and even ones she'd never seen before; she had a makeup brush for every aspect of her face, as well as things for which Jane didn't know the use and didn't care to know. The counter top was, as usual, pristine and gave no indication of the enormity of what Jane had aptly deemed an addiction (though that had caught her a withering glare from the shorter woman) that lay below it.
Jane had gotten one drawer and not one of the big long ones, something she silently noted, as she had dumped her tiny collection of products into it, and was begrudgingly told she could use some of the counter space. Jane had eyed her girlfriend's chest for any red blotches but found none, so she assumed Maura wasn't lying about it not bothering her even if she wasn't super happy about it. Jane had still refrained from putting anything on the counter despite this, for fear she would mess up the look Maura was going for with that ugly ass flower in a vase that was the sole item sitting in the middle. (Jane had thus far dodged the question of whether or not she really agreed with Maura's decorating sense, but she knew the day was coming when that would end.)
Maura, in all of her cleanliness, really wasn't that bad. So what if the toilet paper had to be put on the holder with the paper over the roll, and so what if she had to use a fresh towel each time she showered because that was proper, or that the towels had to be rolled instead of folded when put into the closet? Jane could get used to all of those things, and she had, but it went further than that. She of course had to be dating the most perfect woman in the world, and of course she knew Maura didn't need all of those beauty enhancers, but Maura was who she was and that came with consequences.
Consequences that came in the form of Jane trying desperately not to pee herself as she waited for Maura to finish getting ready for work and stop hogging the bathroom. The third day of this, however, she had found her voice and spoke up, barking at her to hurry up or she was going to have a puddle on her floor.
Maura's reaction to that had just thrown her so off guard that she almost peed on the floor anyway. Maura simply told her to come in and use the toilet. While Maura was still in the room. Jane had all but shoved the blonde out, only the upper lashes of a left eye coated in mascara, in an attempt to have a little privacy and not embarrass herself any more than had already happened.
But that experience paled in comparison to what happened the first time one of them had to, ahem, take care of business. Jane had completely expected this to not bother Maura in the slightest. After all, she was consistently surrounded by gross smells and, well, substances on a daily basis. Oh, but Jane had been wrong, so delightfully wrong. She still snickered a little at the memory of Maura's flushed face as she rushed to keep Jane in the living room to wait for her as she got ready for bed.
Jane had pushed her to explain her reasoning, resulting in a very flustered Maura Isles who calmly explained that she had to go to the bathroom and would she just please stay on the couch. Jane had broken out in laughter, guffawing loudly at Maura's unexpected embarrassment. Even as Maura huffed and stomped off to the bathroom, Jane giggled freely and vowed to bring up later the slight hypocrisy between this and Maura's suggestion at Jane going pee with her still in the room.
Maura had then informed Jane that it was a very different matter entirely and there was no hypocrisy in what she had suggested versus what Jane had laughed at her over. Well, of course not.
That had been weeks ago and for the most part they had gotten over those little things. Though Jane wouldn't admit it to anyone, especially Maura, she still found herself crawling out of bed before the blonde woke up so she could brush her teeth. It was a process; but Jane wasn't going to dwell on the fact that she had never felt the need to do that with Casey. He had gotten her morning breath and all because she simply didn't care that much.
Now, Jane looked up when, in the kitchen, she heard dishes softly pinking against one another. She looked up to find Maura, who Jane didn't even realize had emerged from their bedroom where she had been reading, now in much more casual attire than earlier. She was standing in front of the dishwasher and this caused Jane to furrow her eyebrows. Jane had just loaded the dishwasher not even half an hour ago, and she knew the cycle had to have been almost halfway through.
"Maur? What are you doin'?" She asked as she made her way over to observe the shorter woman's actions. Jane watched silently as Maura began rearranging the semi-dirty dishes within the dishwasher, "It was already running… Why are you…?" Jane trailed off as she realized Maura was arranging them in the way that she always did when it was her turn to load the dishwasher. Jane's eyebrows drew even tighter together, "Why are you re-doing what I've already done?"
Maura bit her lower lip slightly, just for a moment, but Jane noticed. She took a deep breath, "It's nothing, Jane." She didn't look up, but she paused in moving a bowl from the middle of the rack to the edge.
Jane wrapped her fingers around Maura's wrist, "Did I not do it right?"
"I…" Maura looked up finally, hazel eyes meeting dark brown irises that were clouded with confusion and a little hurt. She cleared her throat before continuing, seeking the safety she found in explaining things, "Bowls go here," she demonstrated by placing the bowl in her hands snugly between the prongs of the rack, "There is a method so that all of the dishes get clean in one cycle. Cups on top, and anything plastic, otherwise they'll melt…" She hoped silently that her matter-of-fact tone would disarm the brunette from pressing the issue further.
She wasn't quite so lucky, "You do this every time, don't you?" The voice husked, and Maura could tell Jane was trying to hide her emotions. Poorly, she mentally added.
"I…" No use in busting around the bush - or is it 'beating'? – "Yes," she answered, her voice softer and shakier than she intended.
Jane inhaled sharply through her nose, her grip on Maura's wrist tightening for a moment before she let go completely, "Okay."
"Jane," she breathed the name, a frown crinkling her features.
"No, Maura, it's okay," Jane grumbled, heading to the fridge and pulling out a beer. She popped the cap on the corner of the counter; Maura bit her tongue to keep from chastising her like many times before when Jane had used her granite countertop as a bottle opener. "You can load the dishwasher however you want and I won't get in your way anymore," she took a long swig from the bottle and set it onto the counter. The sound of the glass hitting granite made Maura wince; Jane was upset.
No, she amended, Jane was pissed.
"Jane…" She tried again, reaching out this time to brush her fingers along Jane's forearm. She winced again when the brunette pulled away, picking up her bottle and moving to the other side of the kitchen island, effectively putting distance between them.
"Really, Maura, it's fine," Jane's words betrayed her face as she finished her beer in record time and set the empty bottle on the counter, a little harder this time. Maura winced for the third time, still caught off guard by a pissed off Jane. Jane ran her hands through her unruly curls, "I just…" she swallowed once and then looked up at her girlfriend, "Are you sure you wanna do this?" She motioned grandiosely around the room with her arms.
"If by "this" you mean living together…" Now it was Maura's turn to be confused, "Are you unhappy here, Jane?" Even as the words left her mouth she could hear the shakiness of her voice, the uncertainty that laced every syllable.
Jane frowned, huffing as she balled her fists, "No, I…" She sighed again, "No. I love this," she motioned between them, "I love us. I just… I've been trying for three and a half weeks to make sure I clean up after myself and making sure I'm not leaving a trail of water from the shower and that I don't fuck up and leave my clothes beside the hamper instead of in it… all in hopes that I won't piss you off, won't make you regret this decision, but I… I don't know, maybe that's wrong." She ended with a roll of her eyes, "And now, you're rearranging the fucking dishwasher? It's going to clean the dishes regardless, Maura. Just… Really? Do you really need that much control? Because I want to help out, I want to do my half of the chores, but… Not if you're just going to go behind me, like, like I'm some kid and re-do everything once I'm gone." She deflated slightly, her shoulders slumping just a bit.
"Jane," Maura set her jaw, her lips pursed, "Why didn't you tell me that you've been feeling this way?"
"Because I was embarrassed," Jane muttered, a curtain of dark curls covering half of her face. "Because I didn't want to admit that I felt uncomfortable around the one person I've always been comfortable with."
Maura sighed, rounding the counter and tentatively reaching out to grasp Jane's forearm, her fingers curling slowly and softly around it, pulling Jane to her. Jane stumbled forward, reaching out to brace herself and wrapping around Maura. She buried her face in the crook where shoulder met neck and inhaled, feeling some of the tension melt away at Maura's embrace.
"I'm sorry," Jane muttered, nuzzling Maura's neck, muffling her words.
"For what?" Maura laughed humorlessly as she rubbed circles on Jane's back, silently supporting her, "I've got to admit… I've felt your apprehension. I was just hoping you'd come to me about it."
She sighed, "I wanted to…"
"Jane, just…" Maura pulled away slightly, looking up slightly to look Jane in the eye, "You know that this is as much your home as it is mine, right?"
Jane smiled a little, and nodded, "Yeah, Maur," her voice broke a little with emotion, "I know that…"
"This is partly my fault. I… You've helped me more than you'll ever know, Jane." The pure emotion shining through the unshed tears in Maura's eyes caught Jane slightly off guard and she wondered briefly just what she meant.
"It's not your fault. Really, Maur, you've been so great. Letting me into your home."
"Jane, you've always been a part of my – our – home, can't you see that? Since day one… You've made this house a home. Without you and your family, it would just be a house." Maura leaned in and captured Jane's bottom lip between her own softly, "You are my home and now… we're together and it's perfect. Don't think otherwise, okay? Sure, we get on each other's nerves and we haven't really found a rhythm yet, but Jane, we will. We always find a way."
Jane smiled softly at Maura's words, so heartfelt, so sincere, and all of her unease washed away. Her anger from earlier was gone, replaced by heart bursting feelings of warmth and contentment and happiness. Jane linked her fingers with Maura's and tugged, gently, in the direction of the – their – bedroom.
"But, Jane, dinner…"
"Can wait," Jane smiled, "I want to show you that you're my home too." At this, Maura smiled a secret smile, one reserved solely for Jane, as she allowed herself to be led down the hall.