Chapter 1: Accidentally, the Eldritch Abomination is Unleashed.
Part 1
What is the saddest scene in the world?
Was it a scene of death? The terminally ill taking their last breaths? Disaster victims fruitlessly awaiting a rescue that would never come? People in despair throwing themselves off rooftops? No. Anyone that properly watches the news should already be emotionally numb to such scenes.
Then was it the scene of a couple breaking up? Adultery, betrayal, or just love gone cold? Nay. Rather than sadness, such scenes would just evoke dark emotions of joy.
While I cannot be certain what the correct answer is, the sight before me was definitely one of the top contenders.
Part 2
It was in the early morning after Christmas, and a happy loner was minding his own business, reading his own manga, in his own room. Unlike riajuus, who had to painstakingly coordinate their schedules in order to enjoy their youth, a loner is an evolved lifeform that can find entertainment at any time.
Unfortunately, there was one other in the house, a very irritable test-taker. After being kicked out for my allegedly creepy giggling that was supposedly distracting her, I was forced to wander around the city on my bicycle.
Then the scene in question appeared before my eyes. About 100 meters ahead, I noticed a gap in the flow of morning pedestrians. Everyone was trying their best to avert their eyes from the gap, and I noticed the males in particular were trying their hardest to stay away, as if some instinctual sense was screaming "DANGER!" in their heads.
In the center of the gap, a woman was lying down face-up by the side of the road while surrounded by several bottles of alcohol. While there were no signs of any physical wounds, a variety of discount sticker seals were stuck on her clothes and even her forehead.
Since she looked strangely familiar, I ignored the warning signs and took a closer look. This was a mistake that the Hikigaya clan would rue for generations, assuming it did not end with me.
The woman had her left hand raised towards the sky, and a ring crafted out of more discount stickers was on her ring finger. As she gazed fondly at her fake wedding ring with a nihilistic smile, I was promptly assaulted by strong feelings of sympathy that I never thought I possessed.
"Someone! Someone hurry up and take her! Otherwise I will instead!"
Suddenly, the background noise of the morning crowd died down.
Weird... why was everyone looking at me? Normally my curse of invisibility prevented people from seeing me even if I was standing in front of them. Perhaps my overwhelming feelings of compassion had cured my curse? Was the popular period of my life going to begin?
With a jerk, the woman's face turned towards me.
"Someone... will take me? ... you will take me?"
Oh shit. Had I blurted my earlier thoughts out loud? Hiratsuka-sensei's eyes were slowly turning from nihilistic to predatorial. The gap in the crowd was now widening as the bystanders attempted to flee from ground zero.
"Yabai yabai yabai yabai..." DANGER! My chastity is in danger! The fact that I was starting to sound like Tobe was a good indicator that something very bad was about to happen. The way that she lifted herself off the ground in a manner strangely reminiscent of the zombies in Resident Evil was also incredibly bad for my heart.
"You will take me?" she repeated, now positively drooling with a crazed look in her eyes.
With that as the cue, I jumped on my bicycle and fled.