Hello, I am Sosuke Aizen. You may remember me for being a big bas***rd as I back stabbed the people I cared most about, or cared most about me. You may even remember that I even tried to kill the girl who trusted me with her life and more. You may know that right now I am trying to rule the world and am against Ichigo Kurosaki. He is the main character so he is eventually going to win. Well, enough about that because today I have an offer for you! I am not here to talk about my backstabbing, evil, untrustworthy ways. No! I am here to talk to you about what you are seeing right here!

You may be wondering to yourself, "What am I looking at right here?" or "Who is this crazy dude talking about killing on my TV set?" If it is question two, I can't answer that. However, I do have an answer for the first one! That is the whole point! What you are looking at is bad vision. I have to wear these glasses the whole time throughout the whole series. Do you have bad eye vision too? Well call

123-456 BLEACH GLASSES AIZEN

NOW! And if you do, you get the exact, used on the spot, impossible to replace and more… replica of my glasses! Dozens of identical, one-of-a-kind replica of my glasses right here. Only for the price of $7.28! So go and call now!

123-456 BLEACH GLASSES AIZEN

WAIT! If you call in the next six minutes and forty seconds, while I am here filling up the details of a death on my Death Note, you get two glasses for the price of one! WHAT! Two glasses for the price of one, I got to be kidding on this offer! And I am! No, seriously, two glasses for 7.28! TWO GLASSES FOR 17.28 DOLLARS! You must be telling all the dudes around you about this offer! If you aren't, go do it now, or the next death will be yours! Seriously, the number is…

123-456 BLEACH GLASSES AIZEN!

And remember not to mix it up with BLEACH GLASSES TOSEN! That piece of crap trying to out sell me with his lousy glasses. I'll show him! Now… on with the program. OH! It looks like we are almost out of time; well let me cash you in on one of our best offers! A

Sorry, this infomercial has taken to much time. Please enjoy the rest of your day, thank you! And sorry for any disturbances!

Wait, just one last offer!