A Disclaimer by order of:
The Piltover Ministry of Media Propagation
On this text so as to Declare:
The following work is officially recognized as pure Fantasy. Under no circumstance must these sentences and paragraphs be considered Factual in any capacity.
Against the Original Claimant:
The Governing Body of the New Bilgewater Monarchy
To the inquisitive reader of my auteurism, you might know that I, Siegfried Clemuon, never admired writings of the popular or political. However, with the months old event of the death of the Captain called 'Gangplank' and the more recent Trifarix coup d'etat in Noxus, I for one feel that the world is for sure a changing place and it is time that I should at least reconsider my own attitude towards the matter. The taste for literature on Noxus outside the scholarly or militarily is still undeniably frowned upon, even by myself for that matter, but there are none who may deny the popularity of the Pirate. A stroll through Printer's Lane is ever enough to show how massive this phenomena truly is, now seeking to rival even the tales of Dashing Demacians carrying Vastayan Princesses far away from the corruptive tentacles of Noxus (something my huntsmen correspondents have long complained about as the true situation is far more complex). Following several reads of the most popular material on offer, a madness arose in my mind, commanding me to provide a far more fantastical account of Bilgewater than whatever those pulps could imagine.
My more frequent readers know that I dabble more in what many have called 'womanly writings', although a more apt description is writings with a focus on the nuances of both the romantic and domestic among the fantastical elements of our age. I do not seek the simple pleasure of a maiden following her first admiration, rather the long winding test of determination that we know as love.
What I fear the following to be, however, is an adventure novel featuring myself as its protagonist. To the readers who have expected so much from my research break, I apologize, for as much as I tried to conjure a creative spark, the attitudes of the populace deprived me of my original intention for their utter disregard for the literary is as legendary as their talents for thievery and butchery, both of which I assure you are not to be trifled with (the latter referring to those creatures of the depths, though ample stories of horror abound around the carcasses of such behemoths).
My lengthy essay here on my previous works is something I deem necessary, as I fear that with the pertinent contents of this piece to Bilgewater's political climate, this piece may become my bestseller, far oustripping my debut work "Baron's Wishes", and yet is such a disparate tone from every other works that I do not consider this piece as a work of my own, yet I add this as a wish to add an air of depth and as having lived through these pages myself. I assume that if this piece be considered "Pure Fiction" by the Ministry of Media Propagation then you have already read and are ready to consider what follows as purely a dramatic pulp retelling of my excursion to the Isles of Bilgewater.
Signed:
Monsieur Siegfried dans le Famille de Clemuons