dedication: to ally. a couple of our friends ship makoharu and were hating on the two of us for shipping rinharu, and ally gave me the great idea of writing a fic where haru kills mako, so this is where the birth of this fic came from. here you go, girl, and i hope you like it.

in the darkness

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Haruka doesn't stop running, doesn't pause to take a much-needed breath, as he sprints to dodge the bullets aimed at him and Gou, her hand in his as he drags her back to the base with him.

It's all Gou's fault. Why did she have to run away from base? Why couldn't she just have listened to Rin when he told her to stay inside?

Haruka finds temporary shelter from the raining bullets in an alleyway. He pulls Gou in and holds her by the collar of her shirt.

"Why did you leave?" he demands. "Why didn't you listen? Do you know how worried Rin is?"

"I'm so sorry," Gou yelps, eyes becoming watery. "I–I just wanted to do something for once. Nii-san never lets me out and I always have to stay inside. I couldn't take it anymore." She gulps, keeping her eyes just below eye level with Haruka.

Haruka's fist tightens, but he quickly releases his grip.

"The reason Rin told you to stay inside is because he cares about you," Haruka reminds her.

"I know, but…"

Haruka stares at Gou, hard.

"Hey! There they are!"

Haruka's head snaps up. They found them.

"We'll talk about this later," Haruka mutters. "And if it really bothers you so much, you should talk to Rin," and he takes Gou's hand again before dashing away from the alley, narrowly avoiding another shower of bullets.

We're almost there, he thinks. Just a couple more blocks. Just a couple more blocks, and then turn at the alley on the right.

"Run faster!" one of the goons behind them hollers. "Get them!"

Haruka feels his calf muscles ache as he pushes himself to run faster, faster, faster, because he can't be caught, Gou can't be caught–Rin can't be caught.

He hears Gou's panting and breathing getting louder and louder from behind him. The poor girl wants to take a break (and Haruka wants to take a break too) but he has to get back to base, has to get back to Rin.

"Just a little farther," he mutters to himself. He doesn't know how far behind their pursuers are, the sound of his blood rushing and his heart beating flooding his ears, but he only hopes that they're far, far away from them and that his attempt to pick up his pace has worked.

He reaches another alleyway, hides in its darkness, and takes a peak to make sure they don't know where he and Gou are hiding. As the men run by the alley entrance, Haruka lets out an inaudible sigh.

"We're almost there," he says. "We just have to keep walking this way and–"

Haruka doesn't finish what he's going to say.

"Haruka-senpai? What's wrong?" Gou asks, but then she turns her head to look in the direction Haruka is looking and lets out a quiet gasp.

There's a man standing there with a gun pointed at Haruka, and he's about to pull the trigger. He's capable of shooting the gun at any moment now, ending Haruka's life.

But Haruka ignores all of that.

"H-Haru?" says the main, stepping out of the darkness that shrouds him and making his features more visible. "Is that you?"

Haruka almost collapses to the ground as he takes in the familiar but dirty brown hair, seemingly dull green eyes, tanned skin, and tall and muscular body.

"Makoto-senpai," Gou whispers. She's about to run toward him, but Haruka grabs her wrist and holds her back.

"Mako?" he asks, relaxing all his muscles. "What are you doing here, and… why were you pointing a gun at me?" He wishes his greeting came out friendlier, but something about the way Mako approaches him only makes Haruka feel more wary by the second.

Mako smiles, but this smile just feels different from all the other Mako smiles Haruka remembers from his childhood. "I was supposed to be with all the guys who were chasing after you two, but I've been spying on a bunch of people who keep coming this way the past few weeks, so I decided to stick around here and get whoever comes this way to lead me back to Rin's base just this once. And don't pretend like I'm stupid. Rin's smart enough to have moved his base since back then." His face falls. "You're still rebelling with Rin, aren't you?"

"Mako… What… What happened to you since you were kidnapped?" Haruka asks, ignoring what Mako said.

"Well, you see, Haru, we've… we've been wrong all this time."

Haruka's eyes widen.

"I know this seems crazy to you right now, but… but the government that we always thought was so bad isn't actually all that bad. This isn't gonna be some dictatorship like you think."

"How do you know that?" Haruka questions, feeling for the gun on his holster.

"Because…" Mako struggles to find the right words. "You won't believe me unless you come with me. Please, Haru! We're friends, right? You can come with me. And you can bring Nagisa and Rei and Rin with you, too. How does that sound?"

Haruka doesn't hesitate to shake his head. "I can't believe it. How could you have changed so much?"

"Haru, it's just you being oblivious to the truth!" Mako yells, raising his voice. "If you just listen to me, you won't have to go through all this!"

Haruka and Mako stare at each other for an excruciatingly long time.

Haruka takes his gun out from its holster and loads it, pointing it at his best friend. He shakes his head. "I'm sorry, Mako, but I can't do that."

Mako sighs, but Haruka notices Mako's clenching of his fists by his sides.

"I'm sorry, Mako," Haruka repeats, quieter this time. His hands are shaking as he closes his eyes tightly and sets a finger on the trigger.

And pulls it.

Haruka opens one eye, only to see that the bullet only grazed Mako's cheek, a trail of blood making its way down his face. In his mind, Haruka can only think, I'm sorry, Mako, I'm sorry, over and over again, but he can't find the willpower to say it.

"You really won't side with me, won't you?" Mako says softly, wiping the crimson stain on his cheek.

Haruka remains silent, his gun still aimed at his friend, his eyes set on Mako.

Mako laughs. "Why am I even trying? It was Rin you always listened to. You never listened to me. How could I forget?"

Maybe it's just his imagination, but Haruka swears that Mako's voice cracked.

Haruka feels something brush against his arm and realizes it was Gou, and he suddenly feels incredibly stupid. He completely forgot the whole purpose of what he's doing.

Whatever you do, Haru, make sure you save Gou, Rin specifically said to Haru in private after Rin laid out his plan for them all, to split up all over the city to find his sister. Do whatever it takes to find her. Just… don't die, okay? If you die on me, I'll kill you.

At the time, Haruka only thought that it would be impossible to kill someone who was already dead.

Haru closes his eyes again.

I'm sorry, Mako, I'm sorry.

He fires the gun a second time.

Haruka hears something go thud as it hits the ground, and tears begin slipping out of his eyes.

He hears Gou shriek in horror, wailing and sobbing, while Haruka only stands there, his eyes still closed. He refuses to look at what he did.

He turns to the side, away from Mako, to face Gou, offering a hand to her. "Come on. Rin's waiting for us."

Gou sniffles, nods, and takes his hand, and Haruka makes a run for it.

As he passes by Mako's body, Haruka thinks he sees what looks like clear liquid in his still-open green eyes.

"Rin," Haruka says as he enters the base.

The three of them are seated on the floor, Rin's face buried in his hands, Nagisa rocking himself back and forth, and Rei pacing across the room–but at the sound of Haruka's voice, they all stop whatever they were doing and look up.

Rin's jaw falls to the ground as Nagisa and Rei burst into tears and shout, "Gou!" They run up to her and tackle her in a hug, tears streaming down their faces, Gou laughing as they embrace her.

Rei and Nagisa let her go as Rin approaches them. For a long time, Rin only stares at Gou.

Gou drops her head. "I'm so sorry, nii-san. I just wanted to be useful somehow. Get some more useful information, try to recruit more allies, you know. I'm really–"

Rin wraps his arms around Gou before she can finish. "Don't ever leave me like that again. Ever."

Gou looks surprised, but she smiles and buries her face into Rin's chest. "I'm back, nii-san," is all she says.

When Rin and Gou let go, Rin's red eyes move to Haruka, and he beams. "Thank you, Haru. I don't know what I can do in return. I… I… don't know what to say, but I just–"

Haruka's head falls, landing on Rin's chest.

"Uh… Haru? What's wrong?" asks Rin. When Haruka say nothing, Rin gently takes Haru's face in his hands. "Come on, you can tell me."

Slowly, Haruka lifts his head to look at Rin straight in the eye, and Rin gasps.

"Haru, why are you crying?" Rin wipes a tear from Haruka's cheeks, looking into his blue eyes intently.

Haruka says nothing for a while before collapsing into Rin, who has no choice but to pull him into a hug.

"I did it, Rin," Haru admits, eyes blurry from his tears, his words muffled as he struggles to restrain a cry. "I really did it. I killed Mako. I did it. I actually did it."

He feels Rin's body stiffen for a split second before relaxing and pulling Haruka tighter into his body. He kisses Haruka's forehead and rubs soothing circles on Haruka's back.

"It's okay, Haru," says Rin, chin resting on Haruka's black hair. "It's okay. Don't worry. It's okay."

As Haruka's tears fall onto Rin's shirt, Haruka feesl water dripping onto his own hair. He doesn't question it.

Haruka wraps his arms around Rin.

At that moment, he has never been more grateful to have Rin in his life.

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fin