A/N: Hey guys! this is my first Vauseman fanfiction I've written and posted. I haven't written any fanfiction for a while but I have been loving this ship recently and I just thought of the idea. Enjoy!
All rights reserved to owners of characters; Netflix and Jenji Kohan
Chapter 1
Piper's perspective
We were fighting again.
That was all it had been the whole week. Sometimes I forgot what the main problem was, we just tend to throw all our cards on the table but everything just added up to the main reason.
We had fights. We've been together for 2 and half years and that was normal... but it never was this bad.
I could feel it. Today was worse than any fight we had. Maybe it was because there was a lot of breaking things. The nearest object within reach, or the wine glass we had before the fight had started when we were enjoying a lovely dinner.
I was going to be honest, I started the breaking first. My alcohol filled self caused my little to no patience for her to waver and anger immediately replaced me trying to keep it together.
I was never good with getting mad, like real mad. My chest felt compressed, the lump in my throat getting bigger as I spat every acidic word out to her, my eyes started to hurt from the holding up the salty waters from pouring.
I just couldn't give her that satisfaction again. I let her go every time because my weak self couldn't contain my tears and I just breakdown like a little child after her mother had lost them.
So I stayed mad. I clung to all the anger in me and emphasized it with more breaking, kicking and punching walls or tables. It wasn't healthy, I know. But I was beyond saving at that point.
What were we fighting about? 2 and a half years of knowing and loving with all my heart the woman in front of me. 2 and a half fucking years. Till just last week, I found out through sources, that she worked for the biggest international drug cartel, searching for mules to attract and sell their shit to them.
Why had we been fighting for a week now? Simply because, honesty was a very sacred thing to me. On top of that promises. Promises that my lover had said and "honestly" admitted she had nothing to hide.
I know I may seem like I was over reacting. Maybe I was. But it was more from my concern, worrisome, slightly betrayed state and also the fact that she was proud of doing it.
The most gorgeous, talented, badass, confident woman I came to love, Alex Vause, told me that she wasn't good at anything else besides drug smuggling.
Either she was out of her mind or completely have no self conscious and has lost herself in that pride facade she always hid in.
"I told you a thousand fucking times Piper that I was doing it for us. All of this, all I gave you, all I gave my mom, if it wasn't for this, we wouldn't have it." She barked out.
I felt a throbbing sensation on my temple. We both had been shouting at that point really. I was done. Pushed to the edge, I couldn't take it anymore.
"Does your mom know about that?" I already knew the answer, she had been repeating it the whole week.
So I continued not letting her talk, "If you're so damn proud of what you gave us, knowing it came from some stupid illegal and dangerous shit, I don't want it. I don't want any of it."
I took a deep shaky sigh as I watched her eyes change from her dark and angry look to confusion and fear. I swallowed the lump in my throat and this time lowered my tone.
"I don't want to be part of it. I don't want to acknowledge it as some type of God given opportunity for you to ruin your life with and everyone around you. I don't want any outcome of it.
"If that's the only thing you think that you're fucking great at, then fine. Keep doing it. But you don't get to keep both things you love. Cause I'm done."
I was practically shaking at this point. I watched as how Alex's eyebrows furrowed and her eyes filled with nothing but fear now. I noticed her lost for words so I decided to keep going.
"I can't ignore the fact that you're out there one day, in your so called business trips, and one thing goes to shit, you're all fucked. I can't imagine you going to jail or having yourself shot by one of your boss' hitman for fucking up. I don't fucking care how careful you say you are but that is still a possibility. You're working for the biggest drug cartel for fucks sake.
"I can't ignore the fact that you're practically putting our lives in danger especially your mom. I know you said that you won't let that happen. But fuck Alex, you can't fucking stop it. So I'm not going to be part of it."
With that, I felt like breaking down again. But I went so far that no tears came. I felt dead. Couldn't believe my own words.
"What.. what are you saying..?" Alex stammered out.
I paused making sure that this was exactly what I wanted. It was selfish for me to make her choose, I knew that. I didn't care if she recruited mules or worked for a drug cartel, I cared more of the consequence it would bring to all of us and our futures. Call me a fucking negative pussy but I just couldn't shake the feeling that I know something was going to happen if I didn't do anything about it or could get worse once out of hand.
I closed my eyes, couldn't bear to look at her for what I was about to say, "I'm out, Al. It takes sacrifices if you want to keep what you 'love'. Clearly I'm not worth that sacrifice. You can't have it both ways." My voice hitched badly.
I turned away to the exit, only opening my eyes then. I walked away, only a faint sound of glass shattering (not thrown, dropped) was the last thing I heard when I closed the door behind me.
A/N: So far, I wonder what you guys think. Small chapter I know. I'll make it up once I get enough reviews to post the next chapter which is ready! Reviews are highly appreciated. All suggestions and constructive criticism are welcome!