"Come with me! There's a place you have to see."

The stars were dusting the night sky with shades of purples and blues. He was still asleep when I whispered my desire to him. His blonde hair was messy, his water eyes searching my face. He smiled dumbly, not comprehending what it was I was trying to get him to do. I pulled on his hand and he stumbled to his knees.

"It is nighttime, lethallan."

"I know, but I found a place you have to see."

Our people were not ashamed to be elven, and not ashamed of who we were. We often slept with nothing but a blanket to protect us from the world. He was an exceptional man, even though, at the time, we were both still entering adulthood. My own body was womanly and full, and his was masculine and toned. What great works of art we were, Ashalle always said in wistful observation.

I took him in as I had done in secret many times before. Our blood drawings extended past our faces. His swirled over a smooth chest and stomach. His back was licked by intricate designs. Mine was, also, but his were wonderful.

I lead him out of his tent silently. Our clan was still dreaming, and the halla were standing guard lazily. They did not make noise as we traveled pass them. The moon was full that night and casted shadows as the sinking sun would. The night was alive with songs most had never heard. We began to run through the trees as deer, moving from our clan and to a place that was unknown. It was freeing.

He followed me loyally, never questioning where I led him. The ground beneath our feet was soft and welcomed our steps. Birds flew with us. When I found where I had stumbled upon earlier that night, I slowed to a stop. His cheeks were flushed and he was breathing quickly, but he smiled at me when I looked at him.

We had reached a clearing in the woods. Before us was a view that my description does not do justice. We stood on an outlook that dropped quite sharply to the forest below. We could see the entire forest from it. The stars danced above us, the trees danced below. Far away, we could see a shemlen castle, jutting out against the moon like a sword. It was harsh and intruding upon the beauty of the natural world.

I heard his breath leave him. We stood beside each other, shoulders almost grazing, and absorbed the world. We had seen many sights, but some still were unknown to us. This one, however, was for him and I alone. Another clan may find that spot again, or a shemlen bandit, or the darkspawn may claim it, but in that moment, it was ours.

He looked down to me. His eyes were filled with starlight. It was as though I was looking into a pool of water reflecting the sky. I was lost in him and in our surroundings. It was as though we could leap from the earth and drift into the moon.

"If you wanted to show me beauty, you could have simply smiled," he said quietly, his face turning scarlet. He was always a charmer. I laughed, and rested my head on his neck. He smelled of the earth. He kissed my ear and pulled me into him. We embraced, and let time move around us.

I wish I knew the elven word for "love". It is not a strong enough term for what elves feel. I loved him, yes, but more than that. The earth is accepting of us, as we are close to it. The wind stirs when two elves love each other. The halla dance as they did when they were young. Luck turns fortunate. The flowers bloom brightly around us. The birds sing and the water is always smooth.

That night, the earth embraced us as easily as he embraced me.

"We should return," he muttered into my hair. I looked to him.

"I would stay here. I do not want to end this time," I stated. He knew what I implied. We made love in secret. It was not proper to do such a thing before we were as one being, but we were young. The idea of being tied to another for eternity was as frightening then as it is now. Our bodies danced like flame together. We stayed with each other for many hours. I would have stayed there forever.

We returned to our people before the sun had risen. None witnessed our return, and we moved to our separate beds. I smelled him on my skin as I returned to sleep. He was my heart's pounding in my ears the warmth in my veins. He was my one.

And now, as the horrible burst of memories washes before me, he lies, slain by my own hand. He was with me for how long, staying in the shadows? I never bothered to look for him, or find him, or heal him. I knew in my chest he was not dead. I did not love him so completely to not know when he was gone. He held on to himself long enough to tell me of his love. We never spoke such words when we were together, but we both knew it.

I am so sorry, Tamlen. I can never ask for your forgiveness now.

Dareth shiral.

I love you.