"Welcome back." Echos through her head as she tries to get her barrings, Finnick's voice sounding so far away even though he is sitting right next to her.
Caroline failed, she promised to bring Stefan home, but she herself is coming home instead. There is nothing to come back to when she already made her peace.
She did make another promise that she intends to keep though. "I would like to speak with Marcel."
Finnick doesn't answer immediately, unsettled by the request. He takes her in, her unnaturally pale skin, the bags under her purple eyes, the bones that stick out from the weight loss during the games. Even her voice makes him worried, it is void of everything. But what gets to him is the way her light vanished, she lost every bit of light that blinded him and everyone else.
"Why?" Finnick breathes.
"Please." Caroline's voice cracks with the first hint of emotion since waking up.
Finnick stands up eager to help, even if he doesn't know how he's going to accomplish this, "Fine, but when your done I need to prepare you for the crowning of the victor."
Caroline nods her head, but he can see that she's not there. Finnick is hesitant to leave, not wanting to lose her, but he knows she's already gone. Finnick sends one parting glance before exiting the room.
He finds Lorenzo is casually leaning on the wall across the door, which would have surprised Finnick under normal circumstances, but he knows that Alaric is paying his respects to Stefan and Lorenzo is always there when he needs help.
"I need your help." Finnick says, knowing Lorenzo will help without butting his nose where it doesn't belong.
Lorenzo raises an eyebrow, silently letting him know he will help. Finnick sighs, "Caroline would like to speak to Marcel."
Lorenzo pushes off the wall and takes a deep breath before speaking, "Marcel is not in a good place right now."
Finnick nods, "I know, but she's gone and the Capitol needs her."
Finnick begins to realize the magnitude of what he is asking as Lorenzo exhales.
Lorenzo claps Finnick on the shoulder, "I'll try."
He's off before Finnick could even say 'Thank you'. He watches Lorenzo walk down the hall, until long after he's out of sight.
Finnick turns and grips the handle of the door, but he doesn't move it. His knuckles are white with the force of the grip, he doesn't know what to do. This is the first time he hasn't known what to do since the fateful day he became a tribute for District 4, after that is was kill or be killed and then teach the tributes after him the same process. He has had many tributes make it far, but never back home. This year he bet on Alaric's tribute winning, not even letting the thought of Caroline coming back go through his head. He didn't make peace with her death, but he respected her decision to bring Stefan home. He lets the handle go, not knowing what to do. He turns around, letting the wall support him as he counts the hours down until District 4 surrounds him; 47 hours.
Finnick doesn't know how Lorenzo does it, but Marcel is walking down the corridor toward him. Finnick moves to greet him, back stiff from the time waiting, but he doesn't know what to say.
Marcel stops in front of him, arms crossed and face stoic as ever. Finnick wants to say something, but there are no words, instead he gestures toward Caroline's door. Marcel gives him a slight nod before opening the door, Finnick briefly sees Caroline's empty blue eyes focus on Marcel before the click of the door cuts him off.
The same click snaps Caroline out of her daze from seeing Marcel, the last time she saw him he was with Davina. Caroline swings her legs off the bed and folds her hands in her lap, ignoring the way the machines tug at her skin. Marcel takes three steps in before stopping to cross his arms, he remains standing. Caroline tilts her head to look at his face, if he weren't blinking periodically she would have thought he was a statue.
Caroline fiddles with her fingers for a moment, before gathering the courage to speak. "She loves, loved" Caroline chokes on the word.
Marcel doesn't move a muscle as Caroline struggles to stay composed. "She knew this was going to crush you, that you would blame yourself. When we first started spending down time together she would always talk about how worried she was about you, she knew she wasn't going to make it. It was a fact, one she made peace with, but what she didn't make peace with was hurting you. You are, were, her everything. Her family." Caroline pauses, as if realizing that Davina will always be in past tense.
Caroline swallows the lump in her throat, the one that is bringing tears to her eyes, "She made me promise that you would know that she doesn't want you to blame yourself. You gave her the best chance at life, and then the best chance in the arena, you gave her so much. She wants to give you the peace of knowing she doesn't blame you, never will. Please don't blame yourself, it was never your fault." Caroline begs.
Marcel hangs his head, and sighs, "Thank you." he whispers before leaving.
Caroline watches him leave, the door stays closed for a moment before Finnick walks in. She can see the worry in his grey-blue eyes, even though he acts as if nothing happened.
"What did you do to him?" He asks softly.
Caroline shakes her head, her messy locks flutter around, "Lets get ready for the ceremony."
Finnick snaps back to the character the Capitol expects, one that is fake now that Caroline has spent time with him. He begins to list what she needs to do, and she absorbs the information quietly.
Time doesn't seem to pass as Caroline recites what Finnick says, his eyes reveal that it's not what he wants, but he doesn't say anything. She watches as he stands, briefly thinking about telling him to give up, but knowing he won't, no matter how much it will take out of him. She knows it will take all of him before he will see it's not worth it, but by then it will be to late. She keeps her mouth shut though, and watches him hover by the door.
He opens his mouth, but whatever was on the tip of his tongue he must have not deemed right. Caroline watches with dull blue eyes as he runs a hand down is tired face, "Try and get some sleep, the stylists will wake you when it's time."
Caroline doesn't move, and Finnick stares at her for a moment as if expecting something, he gets nothing. The door shuts firmly behind him.
"I'm sorry." Caroline whispers before laying down and closing her eyes, seeing nothing but the hell she just came back from.
He moves from the door as if it burned him, thinking of anything to do to take his mind off of how helpless he is, something Finnick Odair is not use to feeling. He begins to search for Lorenzo, thinking he can at least distract himself by asking him how he can repay him.
Finnick knocks on Lorenzo's door, convincing their Capitol representative he needed to talk to him about the games. Finnick stands there without a care in the world, his body appears relax to someone who doesn't know him, but his eyes reveal everything, they hold a hurricane of blues and greys full of doubt.
Lorenzo opens the door, a amber liquid in his hand. "Finnick?" He asks, taking in the man before him.
Finnick doesn't know what his eyes convey, but Lorenzo allows him in. Finnick sits on the edge of Lorenzo's bed as Lorenzo pours him a drink.
"I can't, I need to be sober for the ceremony." Finnick says as Lorenzo pushes the glass in his hand.
"You'll be sober by then." Lorenzo says, pulling up a chair.
Finnick glances down, looking at the amber swirling in the cup, it's bourbon from District 6, Lorenzo's favorite. Lorenzo has impeccable taste when it comes to alcohol, and this glass doesn't disappoint; he feels his mind relax as the liquid burns down his throat. "Enzo," Finnick pauses, not wanting to burden his friend.
Enzo sits on a chair, with his mind open, Finnick knows from experience that Enzo rarely judges, after all he's seen some of the worst human's have to offer.
"I don't know what to do. I was there when Alaric won his games, but I wasn't his mentor, and did not help him after his victory. Now it's on me, and I don't know what to do." Finnick admits, eyes closed in shame.
Enzo chuckles slightly, "Of course you don't, you push your guilt aside by coming to the games year after year and watching 23 tributes be slaughtered. Nobody else tortures them self like you."
"I see you here, year after year as well." Finnick retorts.
Enzo smirks, "I wasn't here when you were a tribute, and your first year as a mentor I was a tribute. Plus, somebody has to make sure you don't run yourself into the ground."
"How do you handle it?" Finnick asks.
Enzo drowns his drink before pouring another, "What I did in the arena chases away my other demons. Now I have to slay these demons."
Finnick has a feeling if here were anyone else he would think Enzo is joking, but after knowing Enzo for as long as he has, he knows Enzo is dead serious. "That doesn't seem healthy."
"I never said it was." Enzo answers.
Finnick finishes his glass and then asks, "How do I help her?"
"You don't." Enzo responds.
Finnick looks up from his glass and finds honesty in Enzo's deep brown eyes. Enzo leans forward, his body no longer appears relaxed in the chair, "She's the only one who can help herself."
Finnick nods, feeling the double meaning of that phrase.
"Plus, you're always one year ahead of me, I have yet to face this problem." Enzo adds.
"Thanks for the drink." Finnick says.
Enzo leans back in his chair, "Anytime. Now go shower, you look horrifying."
Finnick smiles before leaving, feeling better. Although Enzo didn't answer him, he feels better. They'll be back in District 4 in 39 hours, there he can ask the other victors for advice. For now, they just need to make it thought the crowing of the victor.
Finnick leans against the elevator as it brings him up two floors, thinking about what it would be like to bring Caroline back in a box. The amount of sadness hits him like a hurricane, surprising him with the amount of care he feels for Caroline. In their short time together, she somehow managed to carve a way into the small circle of people Finnick calls friends.
Instead of pushing the thought away to spare him the pain he continues with it, thinking about how Caroline wouldn't be facing the guilt and grief that come with the games. Before he could divulge anymore in the what if, the bell of the elevator ring, signalling he's on his floor.
He heads up to his room to get ready for the ceremony, but pauses by Stefan's door. The Capitol doesn't go through the rooms until after the victors go back to their districts. Finnick places his hand on the handle and opens the door, not really sure what he's looking for. The room is neat and void of anything personal, just like Finnick expected. He begins ruffling through the draws, looking for anything to offer comfort to Stefan's loved ones, but deep down he knows it's for Caroline. He finds a book wrapped in the Stefan's shirt from the day he was reaped.
Finnick sits on the edge of the bed and takes the book out, he hesitates before opening it, not wanting to intrude on a dead man's privacy. It's a journal, starting from the day Stefan was reaped and ending on the morning he entered the arena. Finnick is shocked to find the last pages hold letters for Damon, Caroline, Bonnie, Alaric, Giuseppe, and himself. Finnick doesn't look over any of the other letters, out of respect, despite his curiosity. He gently rips out the letter addressed to him, not wanting to ruin the book or let the others know of it. Finnick neatly folds the letter, waiting to read it, and placing in it his jacket's pocket. Finnick folds the shirt over the book and takes it with him, sans the wrinkle on the bed and missing book, the room is exactly how Finnick found it.
Finnick places the book neatly in his suitcase, under some of his shirts. Finnick quickly changes into the outfit laid out for him to wear to the ceremony, pocketing the letter in fear of losing it. Finnick packs the rest of his meager belongings, leaving the suitcase by the door. 31 hours left, Finnick thinks, knowing they will board the train in about 11 hours, with a 20 hour train ride until the salty air of District 4 makes it's way into his lungs.
Finnick must say, Saffron out did herself this time. She managed to make Caroline look regal, mournful, broken, and beautiful, like a perfect Capitol tragedy. Caroline, though, doesn't follow his instructions. He wanted her to seem heartbroken, but still full of life. She does not shed a single tear, nor move aside from blinking. She is a statue, but she is broken, and lost. Her blue eyes are glassy, from the tears that have yet to fall. She did not follow his instructions, but he is impressed with how she's handling it; the Capitol will think she's changed, not into a monster, but a survivor and it may help her. Finnick glances at Alaric, he's standing shoulder to shoulder with him. Alaric is here physically, but not mentally if his red rimmed eyes and shallow breath have anything to say.
Finnick turns back to the ceremony, and holds back a shudder as President Snow kisses Caroline's cheek. He is almost glad Caroline is not as expressive as she was before the arena, otherwise she probably would have shivered with disgust, fear, or both.
The words and everything wash over him, paying them no mind after hearing them for as long as he can remember. The ceremony couldn't be over soon enough, and Finnick taps Alaric on the shoulder, bringing him back from his self loathing, before heading to meet up with Caroline before the party.
"Caroline." He whispers, and she stops.
She stops and waits, not looking for him though even though her back is to him. Finnick stops, he reaches out a hand to touch her shoulder so she would turn to him, but he thinks better of it and lets his arm fall to his side. "Caroline," He breaths, watching as she turns around.
"I'm sorry." She whispers, not making eye contact.
"What?" He asks, but then realizes she's apologizing for not following his instructions. "You were," greats not the right word, he leaves the sentence hanging.
Instead he says, "You have nothing to apologize about. I just want to talk to you about the party."
She nods, her blonde curls bouncing up and down, "I know. I need to mingle, be grateful for their undying admiration for my ability to kill children, and dance with whomever asks."
"And then we can go home." Finnick says.
Caroline's eyes are looking into his, but she is no longer looking at him. He realizes that her home is her family, and one of it's biggest pieces will never return home. Finnick sighs and pulls her out of her trance but gently touching her elbow, "Let's go."
Finnick lets her go once they are at the party, despite the need to keep her close and safe. Finnick watches as she grabs a plate of food and then begins to talk to people, she has the smallest smile on her face, it's fake, but so is everything about the Capitol.
She doesn't eat anything on her plate, just fiddles with it. But no one notices, and he's both relieved and infuriated. Relieved, no one needs to point out her weaknesses right now, but infuriated because she shouldn't be here being the President's new toy.
"If you stare any longer people are going to start talking." Finnick sighs, he would know that accent anywhere.
He turns to find Enzo leaning on the wall next to him with a drink in his hand. "Go mingle, you are Panem's biggest playboy after all."
Sometimes Finnick finds it hard taking the mask off, but right now he is having a hard time putting it on. "I'll keep an eye on her." Enzo says, Finnick nods in appreciation.
Finnick currently has a girl hanging off of him, whispering sweet nothings into his ear, but he's having a difficult time paying attention when President Snow is standing close to Caroline. He doesn't know what he's saying, but he remembers all to well the subtle threats Snow left him six years ago.
Snow leaves Caroline standing alone in the middle of the room, and Finnick almost pulls away from the girl, from the girl Snow probably made a pretty penny off of. But Enzo sends him a look as he walks toward Caroline, and Finnick feels the girl tug on his arm. He turns to face her, a smirk easily slipping on his face as he takes the lead, and soon they are out of the room.
Caroline is standing in the middle of the room, gripping the glass in her hand with white knuckles. President Snow already took so much from her, and now he wants her freedom. He didn't say exactly what he wanted, but she has a bad feeling in her gut. Caroline turns around, blue eyes frantically searching for Finnick, he's nowhere to be seen. The panic begins to bubble, and her eyes find Alaric, drunk, talking to someone she doesn't know.
Then someone walks up behind her, "Can I have this dance?" The accent sounds like nothing she's heard before, and it makes her relax fractionally. She turns and finds Lorenzo St. John, of District 2, smirking at her while holding out a hand. She doesn't answer, and he gently takes her fingers off of the glass and placing it on a tray of an Avox that walks by, "Thanks mate." Enzo says before turning his attention back to her.
Caroline's blue eyes are alive with fear, the first emotion other than grief that has graced her face since she woke up earlier this morning. Enzo takes her left hand and places it on his right shoulder, he then gently lifts her right hand and rests it in his left while placing his right hand on her waist. He turns them so she can see Snow and the door, making her feel more at ease.
He leans forward and for a moment she thinks he's going to kiss her, but he whispers in her ear, "Thank you." He pulls back and she tears her eyes from Snow to look at his face.
He must see her confusion because he chuckles softly, "I don't know what you said to Marcel, but you took some of the burden off of his shoulders. He seems freer."
Caroline finds Marcel, talking to some Victors, and he doesn't seem any different than he did this morning.
Enzo's smile pulls her back to him, "You're just going to have to trust me gorgeous."
Caroline knows the song is going to end soon, but she doesn't want it to, she doesn't want to let go of him, in fear of drowning. Once the song ends Caroline holds on a little tighter, but Enzo expertly moves her so she has a hand in the crook of his elbow. "Just focus on the task at hand, and tomorrow you will be in District 4." Enzo says in a volume only she can hear, and then he passes her off to the game maker.
The rest of her night is spent dancing and thanking people for congratulating her on killing innocent children. She spends the whole night talking to different people, and dancing with them, all while avoiding President Snow. Thought she knows she is only avoiding him because he is letting her.
Finnick appears right before they are about to leave, Caroline nods at him while she leads a surprisingly coordinated Alaric out.
On their way back to the training center Caroline takes a few pictures with important people from the Capitol, and her mentors. Her smile feels more like a grimace, but she doubts the Capitol's fake residents will notice.
She lets out the breath she didn't realize she was holding when the train shuts them out from the Capitol, leaving the only three residents of District 4 in the Capitol alone. The missing member of their groups is painful, so much so that Caroline doesn't find the breath she let go.
Caroline steadies herself before leaving, neither Finnick nor Alaric comment.
Caroline stops in front of a door, the door that housed Stefan for one night, his marking the last time he would see his home and the first time he would see the Capitol. She places her hand on the handle, willing herself to open the room that will hold no trace of Stefan, but needing something to cling to before she will be surrounded by a place that holds reminder of Stefan everywhere. Caroline closes her eyes and pushes the door open, when her beautifully mournful baby blues eyes open they find a room void of anything personal. Tears prick, and her eyes begin to water, she hasn't cried since opening her eyes after her unfortunate victory. She finds some comfort in knowing that Stefan was at peace in this room; she knows that Stefan's decision to come was the only peaceful choice he could have made with himself. With that knowledge she slips out of her three-inch heels and crawls under the covers; wrapping them around her in a cocoon of sorrow as she begins to cry her heart out. She knows Alaric and Finnick could hear it if they walk by; she knows they won't bother her though, they have been through this before after all.
Caroline awakes with a jolt, she doesn't remember falling asleep. She takes in her surroundings, she's in Stefan's room on the train. Her heart stops at the thought of Stefan, but now's not the time to grieve for her brother. Caroline sits up, yesterday's clothes are rumpled from her restless sleep. She swings her legs off the side of the bed, feeling weak in the bones from her broken soul.
The train has stopped, that must have woken her from her dreamless sleep. Her head snaps toward the door at the sound of a gentle knocking. Her blue eyes are wide with fear, she knows that once that door opens she will have to face District 4 without Stefan Salvatore.
Caroline takes a few hesitant barefoot steps toward the door, resting her hand on the handle. She takes a deep breath and rips the door open, like one might do with a bandage.
Finnick Odair stands on the other side of the door, his eyes are a steel gray and his bronze hair is neat, he is dressed casually in jeans and a nice shirt, but he is grim. "We're back sunshine." The nickname sounds hollow to her ears.
He is holding an outfit for her, something Saffron probably thought to put together for her arrival in District 4 as a victor. "Thank you." Caroline says, in a voice that sounds foreign to her own ears.
Finnick nods and hands her the clothes and says, "You have ten minutes."
Caroline nods in understanding before shutting the door. She quickly changes, catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror before leaving. She looks like she did the day she left, with a few more scars, but essentially the same. Her eyes though, are missing the light they usually hold and her smile does not have the smile that usually graces her face. A piece of her died back in the arena, and now she is less than whole. She is coming home incomplete.
A/N I should probably give you some background information about the victors, I had to make some changes to the Hunger Games history line to fit The Vampire Diaries characters:
11 Hunger Games Victor Mags of District 4 age 76 (won at age 16)
38 Hunger Games Victor Porter Millicent Tripp of District 5
44 Hunger Games Victor Drake of District 4 age 44 (won at age 17)
45 Hunger Games Victor Chaff of District 11
50 Hunger Games Victor Haymitch Abernathy of District 12 age 37 (won at age 16)
57 Hunger Games Victor Finn Mikelson of District 1 age 30 (won at age 18)
58 Hunger Games Victor Marcel Gerard of District 2 age 29 (won at age 16)
59 Hunger Games Victor Bay of District 4 age 30 (won at age 18)
60 Hunger Games Victor Elijah Mikelson of District 1 age 29 (won at age 18)
61 Hunger Games Victor Mason Lockwood of District 4 age 28 (won at age 18)
62 Hunger Games Victor Enobaria of District 2 age 27 (won at age 18)
63 Hunger Games Victor Gloss of District 1 age 23 (won at age 15)
64 Hunger Games Victor Cashmere of District 1 age 22 (won at age 15)
65 Hunger Games Victor Finnick Odair of District 4 age 20 (won at age 14)
66 Hunger Games Victor Lorenzo St. John of District 2 age 21 (won at age 16)
67 Hunger Games Victor Augustus Braun of District 1 age 22 (won at age 18)
68 Hunger Games Victor Alaric Saltzman of District 4 age 21 (won at age 18)
69 Hunger Games Victor Johanna Mason of District 7 age 19 (won at age 17)
70 Hunger Games Victor Ion Howard of District 5 age 19 (won at age 18)
71 Hunger Games Victor Caroline Forbes of District 4 age 17 (won at age 17)
72 Hunger Games Victor has yet to be announced
If I got any of the ages wrong, please let me know. Their current age is based on Caroline's age of the 71 hunger games.
I don't know how many of you made it down here, there's a lot of information above, but if you did make it down here, Thank you! I hope the change of perspective from Finnick to Caroline and vice versa wasn't confusing, if it was I will give a heads up of who will be narrating the chapter in the beginning. For right now I will stick to Caroline and Finnick's point of views, but I will be adding characters in later. If you would rather it just be Caroline's point of view, please let me know and I will adjust. Once again, thank you so much for making it this far, I hope you enjoyed the story. Please leave a review and let me know what you think!
This took me a week and a half to write, it may be choppy. I'm really hoping it flows well, if not, please let me know.
Until next time!