The Sonic and Shrek Team-up Adventure
It was just another average, boring day in the swamps where the great and mighty ogre, Shrek, resided. After Donkey died and Fiona disappeared one night along with all of Shrek's money, Shrek grew very sad and dull. He would occasionally terrorize an innocent town and nibble on the Gingerbread Man's feet, but other than that he would just cry and feel sorry for himself. Rumors began to spread throughout the land that Shrek had become a pathetic mess. When Shrek had heard about the rumors, he began to cry even more and lost confidence.
On this very ordinary day, the idiot, Lord Farquad, decided to pay Shrek a quaint little visit in the swamp lands.
He approached Shrek with a giggle that could only be mimicked by a school boy. "Why, hello there Shrek!"
"Farquad!" Shrek responded angrily. "What are you doing here?"
"Rumor has it you've gotten soft. Pray tell, is this embarrassing story true?"
"Mind your own business, Farquad!"
"So it is true!"
"So what if it is?" Shrek said as he began wiping his gigantic brow because he was beginning to feel embarrassed.
"If it is true, now would be the perfect time to try and kill you."
"You wouldn't!"
"Oh, I would!" Farquad stated as he began licking his lips.
Farquad squatted for no reason needed then called upon his guards. The guards aligned together to show themselves presentable to Farquad.
"Guards, I command you all to kill that fat ogre over there!" Farquad commanded as he pointed his long and grotesque finger at Shrek.
"No, please!" Shrek cried.
"Look at him! He's nothing but a big baby!"
The guards began to laugh and mock Shrek as he began to shed a tear of sadness and despair.
"Now guards," said Farquad "kill the ogre!"
The guards yielded to Farquad's command and then charged at Shrek. Shrek lied down in fear, still sulking over the insult Farquad had made.
Suddenly, in the distance a faint voice could be heard. "Gotta go fast!"
Something zoomed past one of the guards. It scared the guard so much that it made him wet his pants.
"What was that!?" the guard shouted. "It was going so fast!"
The mysterious shadow appeared behind the guard then whispered in a creepy voice, "You're too slow!"
The mysterious figure slapped the guard in the face then pushed him face first into the area of mud where Shrek would do his business. The guards were so spooked that they all decided to run away in fear of the freak of nature they were fighting. Lord Farquad tried to escape with the guards, but was unsuccessful and tripped on a leaf which placed him face down on the earlier mentioned mud where Shrek did his business.
"Oh, this is disgusting!" Lord Farquad shouted.
The mysterious being revealed himself to be a tall, blue hedgehog. Once Farquad saw his face, he knew exactly who he was.
"No, it can't be!" Farquad screamed with fear. "Y-you can't real! You're just a myth! An unruly myth!"
"Oh contraire, my amigo. I am very real." The hedgehog stated boldly and confidently.
The hedgehog proceeded to tie up the foolish ruler then threw him in Shrek's outhouse.
The hedgehog celebrated by break dancing in front of the emotionally unstable ogre for a solid two minutes until he spoke to him.
"Shrek! Just the man I wanted to see! I need your help!" said the hedgehog.
"Wh-who are you? And why do you know my name?" Shrek nervously asked.
The hedgehog chuckled like a woodpecker then said, "The name's Sonic. Sonic the hedgehog."
Sonic was standing perfectly in the breeze so his hair could flow majestically, his eyes glistening like crystals and his worn out running shoes fit snugly on his big blue feet. He was the edgy 16 year-old hedgehog we've all come to know and love.
"Well, thanks for saving my life Mr. Sonic, but I really don't think I can help you." Shrek said. "I'm just a simple ogre, living in a swamp."
"I have onions." Sonic said as a way to entice Shrek to join him.
Shrek's ears perked up once Sonic mentioned onions. "Alright, I'll help ya. What is it that ya need help with, anyhow?"
"It's Dr. Eggman. He's destroying the city, and you're the only one who can help me fight him!"
Shrek was still puzzled, but he went with it anyways.
So the two began their journey to the city. Sonic was courteous to Shrek so he walked with him the entire way there...no running was involved on the journey...
They hiked mountains, trotted in the roughest sandstorms, and sailed the saltiest seas until they reached the shoreline of the glamorous city.
"We made it!" Sonic said as he was gasping for air.
Shrek was quite glad to know they made it considering that they almost died trying to get there.
"So, where is this eggy fella ya keep talkin' about?" Shrek asked to Sonic.
"Oh he'll be here. Just wait." said Sonic.
The two waited for eight hours straight until they heard a loud stomp coming from the middle of the city.
Sonic threw up with excitement. "He's here!"
The two ran into the center of town to see what all the commotion was about. They found Dr. Eggman standing firmly with his giant robot legs on, and his bald head, blinding the innocent bystanders.
"Stop right there, Eggman!" Sonic shouted.
"Ah, Sonic! You're just in time to watch me stomp on the city, and once the city is destroyed, I shall rule it with an iron fist!" Dr. Eggman screamed.
Sonic laughed because Eggman's plan was really dumb. "That plan is idiotic, but I'm going to stop you anyway!"
"You and what army?" Eggman questioned.
"My buddy Shrek is all I need!"
Dr. Eggman displayed a face of horror. "Ugh! What is that thing?"
"I'm an ogre, thank you very much!" Shrek said in defense.
"Enough with the chit chat guys, let's fight!" said Sonic, the edgy hipster hedgehog who works at Starbucks.
Dr. Eggman started the fight by stomping on a building so it could fall on one of the heroes, but he missed. Sonic dashed at him swiftly and began punching Eggman's face repeatedly.
"NOW, SHREK!" Sonic said as loud as he could.
"What do ya want from me? I'm just an ogre!"
Before Sonic could speak, Eggman grabbed him and threw him to the ground.
"You're mine now, Sonic!" Eggman shouted.
The impact to the ground was so hard, it broke both of Sonic's legs. Sonic wailed in pure agony as Eggman was laughing at his misery.
When Eggman finished laughing, he stepped on Sonic. Sonic was almost dead.
"Sonic!" Shrek squealed as he ran towards him. "Speak to me, Sonic!"
Sonic's eyes opened one last time to speak to Shrek. "Sh-shrek?"
"I'm here for ya, buddy."
"Eggman is going to destroy the city, and it's all my fault."
"There has to be something we can do!"
"W-well, there is one thing..." Sonic interrupted.
"What is it?" Shrek asked.
"We can merge together and become one."
Shrek cringed in disgust. "Ugh, that sounds really nasty."
"It's the only way!"
"But-"
"Merge with me!" Sonic said louder.
"No!" Shrek said in frustration.
"Fine! Just use the mech then."
The mech was standing conveniently next Shrek as the two were talking, making it easy for him to find it. Shrek put on his plug suit then climbed in the mech slowly and confused because he was just an ogre. When he settled down in the mech, he became even more confused.
"How do I use this thing?" Shrek asked.
"It's powered by your emotions, so let your emotions take charge!" shouted Sonic.
"Aw, that's lame!" Shrek said. "Doesn't this thing have any guns?"
"Nope." Sonic said as he quickly died.
"Alrighty then, let's get to fighting, Eggman!"
"You're dead, ogre boy!" Eggman screamed.
Shrek used his love of onions to power the legs so he could run, the hatred he feels towards Donkey to use his arms to punch, and the betrayal he felt from Fiona to power the head to think through every move he made. Eggman was astound that an ogre could have such odd feelings. Shrek began punching Eggman back and forth, consistently beating him until he cried out for mercy.
"I-Impossible! I am Dr. Robotnik and you're just a stupid ogre!" Eggman wailed.
"Well this ogre is gonna cook you scrambled." Shrek said faintly.
"No!" Eggman pleaded.
"KAMEHAMEHA!" Shrek said as he used the Kamehameha wave on Eggman in the mech he was piloting.
The blast was so powerful that it destroyed the entire city Eggman was trying to destroy in the first place. So, technically Eggman won even though he died.
"I-I did it! I saved the city!" Shrek screamed at the top of his lungs. "I'm a hero!"
Poor Shrek was very incompetent since he did not even realize he killed everyone in the city, except for him. When Shrek finished celebrating, he walked home in his new mech suit and lived happily ever after.
THE END