Nightmare Marriage

-fanfic by lu.e3-

Tamaki's mega problem

"I'm walking on sunshine…"

If this could not encompass what Fujioka Haruhi was feeling, then nothing could. This was THE happiest moment of her life. Like all marriages, it was a dream come true. And she was married finally… to Tamaki Souh. All the tears, all the heart wrenching past was over. Fading away until everyday was like sunshine. And she was glad that everyone around her had come to share that same happiness.

"Souh Haruhi…" she murmured, trying out her new name.

"It suits you…" came Tamaki's soft reply. He wrapped his arms around her and bundled them both to bed.

"Tamaki!" Haruhi smothered her laugh. She was acting quite different from her usual self. Maybe it was because of the reality of what had happened. She had graduated, she had fulfilled her dream, she had five wonderful friends, and she had Tamaki. Feeling suddenly shy, Haruhi glanced at Tamaki. His eyes were a sparkling blue. "This is the first time I'm going to spend a night with you…"

He grinned at her. "We'll take it easy k?"

"Ok." And like the times when she was afraid of lightning, Haruhi transformed into the inner little girl within her, and giggled. But this time it wasn't fear that stole her mind away, it was happiness…pure golden happiness.

Ah yes, this was the first night of their marriage. The first night of a series of wonderful days filled with clear blue skies and singing birds. What could possibly go wrong? Like all clichés…there's ALWAYS a problem…there is ALWAYS a harsh reality to face. Haruhi is a smart woman, in contrast to her newly wed husband sometimes, but unfortunately she had no idea this time. Absolutely no idea until it was way too late…

MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH

Hunny was in the corner happily chewing on an enormous piece of cake. He wiped his hands with a delicate white handkerchief and continued eating. "Waaa!!!" he cried in delight, "This wedding cake is wonderful! I'm so glad there's so much left."

"…" Mori gave his little friend a don't-forget-to-brush-your-teeth-afterwards stare.

"Well," Kyouya commented, "Tamaki did make sure the wedding would make us all happy." He smiled faintly and gazed out the window.

"Kyouya, you enjoyed being their best man didn't you?" Kaoru grinned.

"We had fun stealing Tamaki's speech cards…" chuckled Hikaru. "You would think after all these years, he would know exactly what to say to Haruhi during exchange of vows, but he didn't!"

"Yes," Kyouya said dryly, "It was amusing to see him go a brilliant shade of red and chase you guys down the driveway in full view of everyone."

"Hahaha…"

"But it was a good wedding," Kaoru murmured.

"I wonder how they're going, spending their first night together…"Hikaru smiled mischievously.

"Oh, I'm sure it's fine…" Kyouya turned to watch the cars flash by beneath the hotel balcony they were standing on. The city, clothed in blackness sprinkled with glimmering lights, spread below their feet. Somewhere, a few streets away from their hotel, was the private hotel Haruhi and Tamaki were staying in, where they were spending their first night of their marriage.

BRING BRING

All their cell phones rang suddenly and sharply. Someone had rung all five of them in a six-way chat arrangement.

"It's Haruhi!" Hunny exclaimed.

"I NEVER KNEW TAMAKI HAD THIS PROBLEM!!!!!" Haruhi was screaming hysterically into her cell phone.

Kyouya frowned. "Haruhi, calm down…"

"What problem does Tamaki have on the first night of his marriage?" the Hitachiins asked, their voices in unison. "You mean Tamaki can't…well you know…"

"NO YOU TWINS!!!! THIS IS WORSE."

They shrugged. "What could be worse?"

"I'M RUNNING FOR MY LIFE!!!!" And indeed, they could hear something crashing in the background, and Haruhi's rapid breathing.

"What's going on?" Kyouya was concerned.

"I NEVER KNEW TAMAKI HAD A SLEEPING DISORDER."

"Huh?"

HE'S SLEEP WALKING AS AN AXE MURDER AND HE'S TRYING TO KILL ME!!!"

"WHAT!!!!????"

"AND I CAN'T WAKE HIM UP!"