"Hey satchels face!" Han verbally abused satchel face (Luke sky walker.) As his face. Is shaped. Like. An. Old. Leather wrinkly. SATCHEL! "Da fuck do you keep calling me that." "Can it satchel!" was the only reply he ever got these days. "IS it not enough that you are fucking my sister? AND YOU STILL DECIDE TO VERBILY ABUSE ME!OH AND REMEMBER YESDERDAY? YOU SPIKED MY DRINK WITH SOME OF LEIAS CRACK!?" Han looked all hurt like an abandoned puppy "If you intended to pierce an arrow through my heart….YOU SUCCEEDED!" And he ran away crying and flapping his arms about. Just as he was having an emotional breakdown Leia shouted on him "Hey Han you seen my stuff?" "What stuff?!" he yelled back "THE FUCKING CRACK!" He cried even more and she walked in and saw him. "Awwww Han doesn't cry honey pie, sweetie poo!" "HOLD ME!" they had a romantic moment yada yada yada "It was satchel face, he made me cry!" her face slowly turned just about every colour in the electromagnetic spectrum "DID HE FUCK!?" "oooooohhhh satchel face is in for it this time!" c3po said. "Can it golden rod!" Leia yelled and picked up a space baseball bat to have a little word with satchel face. Han listened….. "OW!" "HOW DARE YOU VERBALY ABUSE HAN!" she swung at him hitting him right in the coconuts, she swung again, this time breaking his satchel. "No that's not what happened, he spiked my drink with your coke yesterday, I was defending myself. "OH DID HE FUCK?" she got the bat and went to have a word with him instead. But it was no good it just ended in …..Ehemm…..censored…..not suitable for the young innocent apprentices" Satchel face's satchels face wore an expression of disgust. "COULD YOU KEEP IT DOWN!" god damn it, he thought if only I wasn't gay. I could have a girl. But little do they know I have an…. Erm rather….close friendship with CHEWBACCA!" All the characters that had ever been in star wars ever walked out of the bedroom. All in unison came a chorus of "WHAT DA FUCK YOUR SLEEPING WITH CHEWIE!?" Then they had a massive Bollywood dance number it went kinda like this….
IT'S OK TO BE GAY
UNLESS YOU HAVE A SATCHEL FACE
ITS OK BISEXUALL
UNLESS YOU'RE LUKE THE SATCHEL
SO FUCK YOU
FOR FUCKING OUR FRIEND
AND THAT MY DEAR SATCHEL IS THE END!
The they all growled "for you at least!" and they beat the shit out of him then R2d2 revealed a darker side and ate his face the end.
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