disclaimer: i don't own watashi no shiawase na jikan
title: tendentious
summary: things change. i never will.
focus: juri's perspective, on yuu. juri x yuu
notes: tbh, i wrote this w/o knowing what fandom, so i could have stuck in wnsnj or nana, but ultimately this one fit better. pm me if CL is babe
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I didn't know your name. It was snowing the day I met you. You were wearing a red beanie. All of these things were true. I'd figure out a reason to talk to you if I could, but I can't. So I'll stay here and watch, hoping you'll look over at me someday.
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Springtime. It's been three months since he figured out I've been cheating on him for more than a month. He's dumb. He's not like you. But he did do one smart thing - he broke up with me. I'm trouble, don't you hear them say? If you haven't, I have. It's in the hallways. It's resting in mouths of people I've never met. Those two words are the only true thing my teachers will write on my report cards.
You wear a different color beanie for every different day of the week. Red. Then orange, and yellow, and green, and blue, and indigo, and finally violet. I think I met you on a Monday. It sounds right. I was tired that day, so it must be. And I don't care anymore - I don't care about the day I met you. I just want my heart back.
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Rumors are hard but school is tougher, so it's all nothing to me. They can say a few words. When the time comes they'll be in hell with me. Then they can talk about me all they want. Are you doing alright? Your skin looks soft, my sin is softer. Quieter. You are curved in on the edges, like a fireplace. I'll take you with me when I go, so I can be your shell.
But don't worry. I don't have scars. I haven't been touched; I'm clean. I'll drape over you like a mourning shawl, I'll be the skull and you're the brain.
I know you like peanut butter. For your birthday, I'll buy you some. Throw it away if you want. If you pick it up, it's good enough.
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She dumped me after I told her that her hair wasn't as pretty as yours. Of course, I didn't mention your name. I just have a problem. Problems. I don't care if her hair is pretty or not, but she acts like it matters. I don't want to be with her anymore. She's not you.
Do I still like you? I don't know. I don't see you anymore, around school. Senior spring is coming up and I've gotten in the same college as the one you're going to. It's a good college, isn't it? Ivy League. Like I said, school is tougher, but I'm a hard worker. I'll do my hours to be with you - that stuff is only the boring part. Maybe in college you'll see me - you'll look over and find the years I've been waiting for you still stuck like a shard of glass in the deep of my eyes. Maybe you'll see that and love me - I don't know, I've wanted it for so long I've forgotten what exists in this world.
If I burn in the world where I loved you will I wake up in one where I don't?
That scares me.
Sing me to sleep. You're not here, but the radio will have to do.
It's 2 AM and I still love you.
I can feel you crawling inside my bones.
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