Authors: Frodo Took (ctiffany@earthlink.net) and Zerah Star (earh_561@hotmail.com)
Rating: PG-13 we suppose
Silly Military Drills:
"Right then!" says Aragorn standing outside facing a group of soldiers and.. Gandalf, "let's see something decent and military; some precision drilling!"
Taking this as his cue Gandalf turns to the group of soldiers, who are (in this order):
Boromir Faramir Theodred Hama Haldir Elledan Elohir Glorfindel
Clapping and addressing the group, Gandalf says in a fluttery-girl-very-gay- Gandalf-voice: "Alright! Boys! Boys! Places! Places!" he finishes by fluttering his hands and stand at the front of the group.
~Pause~
"Ok, was that creepy or was it just me?" asks Zerah.
"Creepy, very, very, creepy. Hope Aragorn didn't see that," replies Luna looking aghast.
~Un-pause~
"Ready! Begin!"
"Ooh, get her! Whoops!" sings the whole group and Gandalf complete with movements. "I've got your number, but you couldn't afford me, dear, two, three."
~Pause~
"What in the bleedin hell was that?!"
~Un-pause~
"I'll scratch your eyes out." Continue the group while making a scratching motion to the side till their hand lands on the shoulder of the person next to them.
~Pause~
"Do girls really do that?" Zerah asks with a confused look on her face.
"I think it's a gay thing," responds Luna with an equally confused look.
~Un-pause~
"Don't come the bigger dear bitch with us, dear. We all know where you've been you military fairy, two, three." Sings the group complete with a kick line, some weird form of ballet, and a 'gay walk'.
~Pause~
"And I thought the can-can with Hobbits was weird." Says Zerah.
"Weird?? I thought it was hot!"
"Yes well, you're a hobbit fanatic."
"Your point?"
~Un-pause~
"One, two, three, four, five, six." Sings the group while 'gay-walking' back.
~Pause~
Luna has one eyebrow raised at this, while Zerah is laughing hysterically. She then promplly falls of her chair and continues to laugh. "Are you ok?!" Luna asks, setting down the bowl of popcorn in her lap and helping Zerah back up. "Yea, I'm good." Once under control she sits back on the chair and picks up the remote again.
~Un-pause~
"Whoops! Don't look now, girls. The maid is just mince in that jolly color, Sergeant. Two Three. Ooh!" The group ends back into a military relaxed position.
~Pause~
"What the @!&% #$@%^ &^*$$@ #%!@#!$#%$." yells Luna.
"Why were there symbols when you cursed?"
".We're being watched again." Both look around, while the Middle-Earth version of the theme from the 'Twilight Zone' plays in the background.
~Un-Pause~
"Right, stop that! It's silly. And a bit suspect, I think." Aragorn tells his men, than looks at Gandalf. "Why wasn't I invited?" he asks the wizard.
The two Valar are so stunned by this both jaws drop and the popcorn bowl Luna was holding falls from the sky and hits Theodred on the head with a loud BONG, knocking him out cold. The remaining conscience ones of the group look at their fallen comrade, then up at the two Valar that can now be seen sitting on their cloud looking around confused.
Gandalf simply looks around and whistles innocently to Aragorn's question.
"Where's the remote??" asks a perplexed Luna, she then sees King Théoden running off with it. "Hey! How did you get up here?! Come back with that!!" She screams running after him.
Zerah looks after her fellow Valar running after the mere mortal with the magic remote, then turns towards the readers and says: "And now for something completely different."
TBC.
Rating: PG-13 we suppose
Silly Military Drills:
"Right then!" says Aragorn standing outside facing a group of soldiers and.. Gandalf, "let's see something decent and military; some precision drilling!"
Taking this as his cue Gandalf turns to the group of soldiers, who are (in this order):
Boromir Faramir Theodred Hama Haldir Elledan Elohir Glorfindel
Clapping and addressing the group, Gandalf says in a fluttery-girl-very-gay- Gandalf-voice: "Alright! Boys! Boys! Places! Places!" he finishes by fluttering his hands and stand at the front of the group.
~Pause~
"Ok, was that creepy or was it just me?" asks Zerah.
"Creepy, very, very, creepy. Hope Aragorn didn't see that," replies Luna looking aghast.
~Un-pause~
"Ready! Begin!"
"Ooh, get her! Whoops!" sings the whole group and Gandalf complete with movements. "I've got your number, but you couldn't afford me, dear, two, three."
~Pause~
"What in the bleedin hell was that?!"
~Un-pause~
"I'll scratch your eyes out." Continue the group while making a scratching motion to the side till their hand lands on the shoulder of the person next to them.
~Pause~
"Do girls really do that?" Zerah asks with a confused look on her face.
"I think it's a gay thing," responds Luna with an equally confused look.
~Un-pause~
"Don't come the bigger dear bitch with us, dear. We all know where you've been you military fairy, two, three." Sings the group complete with a kick line, some weird form of ballet, and a 'gay walk'.
~Pause~
"And I thought the can-can with Hobbits was weird." Says Zerah.
"Weird?? I thought it was hot!"
"Yes well, you're a hobbit fanatic."
"Your point?"
~Un-pause~
"One, two, three, four, five, six." Sings the group while 'gay-walking' back.
~Pause~
Luna has one eyebrow raised at this, while Zerah is laughing hysterically. She then promplly falls of her chair and continues to laugh. "Are you ok?!" Luna asks, setting down the bowl of popcorn in her lap and helping Zerah back up. "Yea, I'm good." Once under control she sits back on the chair and picks up the remote again.
~Un-pause~
"Whoops! Don't look now, girls. The maid is just mince in that jolly color, Sergeant. Two Three. Ooh!" The group ends back into a military relaxed position.
~Pause~
"What the @!&% #$@%^ &^*$$@ #%!@#!$#%$." yells Luna.
"Why were there symbols when you cursed?"
".We're being watched again." Both look around, while the Middle-Earth version of the theme from the 'Twilight Zone' plays in the background.
~Un-Pause~
"Right, stop that! It's silly. And a bit suspect, I think." Aragorn tells his men, than looks at Gandalf. "Why wasn't I invited?" he asks the wizard.
The two Valar are so stunned by this both jaws drop and the popcorn bowl Luna was holding falls from the sky and hits Theodred on the head with a loud BONG, knocking him out cold. The remaining conscience ones of the group look at their fallen comrade, then up at the two Valar that can now be seen sitting on their cloud looking around confused.
Gandalf simply looks around and whistles innocently to Aragorn's question.
"Where's the remote??" asks a perplexed Luna, she then sees King Théoden running off with it. "Hey! How did you get up here?! Come back with that!!" She screams running after him.
Zerah looks after her fellow Valar running after the mere mortal with the magic remote, then turns towards the readers and says: "And now for something completely different."
TBC.