Title:Relief
Rating: M/NC-17
Pairing: Sirius/Remus
Spoilers: If you haven't read Order of the Phoenix by now, then yes.
Summary: After spending the night looking after the Weasley children and Harry, Sirius is relieved to have some down time to himself, until he starts worrying about why Remus isn't home yet.
After Molly shows up the next morning, Sirius is grateful beyond belief, not just because Arthur is on the mend but also because he's been the only adult in the house for the past few hours and he's got how to deal with children whose father is dying other than by giving them Butterbeer. He can barley take care of himself let alone four Weasley children and a godson who's convinced that he is somehow the one who attacked Mr. Weasley, supposedly all the way from his bed in the Gryffindor boys' dormitory.
He's relieved when he can retire to his room, even though he isn't really all that tired. He just needs to be by himself for a while, and he knows that Molly has things under control now.
Except now that he's alone in his room, all he can think about is how Remus should have been back from his Order mission an hour ago and Sirius hasn't heard from him yet. Usually if Remus is running late, he'll at least send a patronus to let him know, but so far, nothing. He tries telling himself that Remus is probably working to cover up news of Arthur's attack, but he's still anxious.
He collapses on his bed and pulls a pillow over his eyes. Maybe he's more tired than he thought; the events of last night seem to have taken a lot out of him. He tries to relax, tries to clear his mind of that nagging feeling that something is wrong. He's failing miserably.
At last though, the door squeaks open and Sirius bolts up in bed, wand drawn. It's Remus.
"Something only you would know about me," Sirius demands, wand pointed at Remus.
"Molly already interrogated me," Remus says with a smile. "But I know that night before last you were begging me to put my cock in you."
That's all it takes for the tension to completely disappear and before Sirius really know what he's doing, he finds himself across the room with Remus backed up against the door, kissing him soundly.
Their mouths are mashed together and Sirius's tongue is running across Remus's lower lip, begging for entrance. Remus parts his lips and their tongues battle for dominance, but Remus lets Sirius win, knowing how worried the other man has been and how much it means for Sirius to be in control sometimes. His tongue invades Remus's mouth and Sirius's hands are already shoving off his robes. He's reminded of when they were teenagers, sneaking around the boys' dormitory, young and reckless. He wants to be that carefree again.
Sirius pulls away then; both of them are in desperate need of air, and as he stands there, chest heaving, he says softly, "I was worried about you."
"I know," Remus whispers. "I'm sorry." And all is forgiven because he can't stay mad with Remus when every time they're together like this he has to wonder if it will be the last.
Remus's robes are pooled around his ankles and they are quickly joined on the floor by the sweater that Sirius just tugged over his head. Sirius scrambles out of his own shirt and then they're standing there chest to chest, just reveling in the warmth created between their bodies.
Sirius wraps his arms around Remus and blindly traces the scar patterns on his back. He doesn't need to see them, only to feel them, as if he needs to convince himself that Remus is still here, still with him. Remus lets out a small shutter as Sirius's hand gently caresses his lower back, and he unconsciously thrusts his hips against Sirius's, basking at the feeling of Sirius's erection against his own.
"Pants off, now," Sirius growls as his hands move to snap open the button on Remus's slacks. Now his pants are pooled around his feet as well and Sirius is turning him around and propelling him to the bed. He somehow manages to shed his own pants in the process and by the time he shoves Remus down onto the bed, they're both fully naked.
He may have been begging Remus to fuck him senseless only forty-eight hours ago, but tonight he wants nothing more than to pound Remus into the mattress and feel the other man writhing underneath him.
He looms over Remus, their cocks barely brushing as he leans over to bedside drawer and pulls out a bottle of lube. It's the muggle kind, but when you're sixteen and trying to defy your parents' pure-blood expectations then even the resistance they'll never be aware of is satisfying, and it's just what Sirius is used to using at this point.
He uncaps the bottle and drizzles a good amount of it on his fingers before recapping the bottle and tossing it back in the drawer. He and Remus have been together long enough for Sirius to know when foreplay is unnecessary, when they just need to do it and feel each other and reaffirm that they're both still alive. Because it could just as easily have been Remus down in the Department of Mysteries tonight, and they both know that.
He preps Remus quickly, stretching him open with two fingers, then three.
"Sirius, please!" Remus gasps as Sirius hits that sweet spot just inside him. Sirius has never been able to say no to Remus. He removes his fingers, wiping them haphazardly on the sheets and then lines himself up at Remus's entrance.
He pushes in slowly, but then Remus growls out a, "Sirius what are you waiting for?" and Sirius thrusts the rest of the way in without preamble, knowing that Remus needs to feel it just as much as he does.
Their thrusting is erratic from the start, both of them just needing that release. Sirius pushes into Remus over and over again, and Remus rolls his hips up to meet him as best he can. Neither of them will last long, they know this.
Sirius captures Remus's lips with his own, and the kiss is harsh, all biting lips and clacking teeth, both wanting to feel every little sensation.
When Sirius wraps his hand around Remus's cock, he knows he's done for. In a matter of moments he can feel himself convulsing around Sirius, can feel Sirius's release inside of him, can feel his own release splattered on his chest. Sirius keeps thrusting small, shallow thrusts until he's completely spent and then he hovers over Remus, pushing Remus's hair out of his eyes and smiling down at him.
"I love you," Remus says simply.
"I love you, too," Sirius replies lovingly, as he rolls over never to Remus and wraps an arm around him, burying his face in the crook of his shoulder.
But there are silent words hovering unspoken above them.
I care about you. I worry about you. I'm afraid for you.