(A/N) Just a quick little fic that I thought of this afternoon. It'll be short, stupid, and, hopefully, it'll make you chuckle a little bit. I'm only expecting 3-4 short little chapters, and I'm not gonna let this one drag out for months on end. It should be done by the end of the week
Anyway, the story takes place shortly after Boruto: Naruto The Movie. If you haven't seen it, just go watch that shit already, but there really aren't any huge spoilers here. Enjoy!
Stupid Inojin and his stupid, stupid dares.
Boruto Uzumaki couldn't help but whither under his father's glare. Normally, his dad wasn't exactly an intimidating person. The man's personality, and fathering style, perfectly matched his awkward haircut.
Naruto Uzumaki, the father, was a bumbling, lovable idiot.
Naruto Uzumaki, the Hokage, however, was an entirely different story.
And right now, in the Hokage's office, with a pair of terrifying, cerulean eyes bearing down on him, Boruto was half-convinced that he was in the midst of some kind of nightmare. He was actually kinda hoping that it was a nightmare.
Sadly, he wasn't that lucky.
"Explain yourself." Naruto, never one to take half measures, pumped a bit of chakra into his words, letting the killing intent roll forth from the simple statement.
Boruto gulped, and suddenly, he couldn't quite meet his father's eyes. He opened his mouth several times, but he couldn't figure out how to begin his explanation. After a few hesitations, he finally got his thoughts together. The blame game wouldn't be of much use in the current situation, so he really only had one option. The truth.
"Inojin Yamanaka dared me to pull a prank on Sarada. I used chakra glue to glue a log to the forehead of your Hokage monument, then I used a substitution jutsu to switch Sarada and the log. In order to escape, she tried to use her mom's strength enhancement trick, and she pretty much ripped your face off the cliff. It's my fault that she had to do that though, so please, don't blame her!"
With that, Boruto took a deep breath and wiped the sweat that had gathered atop his eyebrows.
"Son, I don't think it's possible for me to be any more disappointed in you," his father replied, practically growling.
Boruto took yet another gulp, and prepared himself for the upcoming onslaught of lecturing and yelling. He winced in anticipation.
When he looked back up, though, his father's face had changed entirely, to something resembling bewilderment.
"That prank was totally lame! I mean, you carry the blood of the greatest prankster in the history of the world in your veins! How can you be so bad at it?! Did I raise you wrong? No, it couldn't be that. I made sure to show you the…"
Boruto cut his father off.
"Wait, you're not pissed about the Hokage Monument?"
Naruto dismissed the notion with a wave of his hand.
"Nah, I must've messed with the Monument a dozen times. The sculptor still gives me dirty looks every time I see him in the street. There's a reason why he's on a yearly salary even when we only get a new Hokage every 10 years or so. I'm just angry that the prank was so blatantly terrible. You performed the prank in the direct presence of your target, it wasn't particularly funny or impressive, and you got caught instantly! It was pathetic!"
Boruto couldn't believe what he was hearing. Seeing the lack of a response, Naruto carried on.
"Pranking is like the one thing that this family has going for it. Mom was apparently great at it, in her time. I, of course, am the stuff of legends. We need to get you caught up, and fast."
At any other time, Boruto would've pointed out that their family had a ton of stuff going for it. Like multiple generations of Hokages. And absurd chakra capacities. And the Rasengan. But, in this moment, he couldn't find it within himself to speak up. Was he really going to get away with practically blowing up the Hokage Monument?
"Lucky for you, I have just the solution. SHIKAMARU! GET YOUR LAZY ASS IN HERE, DATTEBAYO!"
A few moments later, Shikamaru Nara walked through the office door, still clearing shaking off the remnants of a nap.
"Shikamaru, I need you to take over for the afternoon. I'm gonna take a family day to show Boruto a thing or two."
The lazy Nara opened his mouth to protest, but Naruto nipped it right in the bud.
"I don't want to hear it. You still owe me for sleeping through my State of the Leaf speech."
"Troublesome…"
With that, Shikamaru took the stack of paperwork from atop Naruto's desk and trudged off to his own office.
"Alright, let's get out of here, Boruto."
"Uh, what are we doing, Dad?"
"Performing your punishment. You need to prank your sensei, and I'm gonna help."
Well, shit.
"Dad, what are we doing in this dusty old closet?"
Naruto glared at his son for a split second before returning to his search.
"I'm trying to find… ah, here it is!"
Naruto turned around and held up an ancient looking notebook.
"My old idea book. I haven't seen this thing in years! Anyway, look through this for a few minutes, and see if you get any ideas. I won't accept some lame prank."
While Boruto flipped through the book, Naruto launched into a lecture about the 'Fine Art of Pranking'.
"When you prank somebody, you need to be very careful. Everybody should know that it was probably you, but they can't have access to any proof. You also need to make sure that at least half of your witnesses find the prank funny. Any less than that, and you might have a legitimate investigation on your hands. Irony is also an important tool to use…"
An hour later, Naruto was still lecturing, and Boruto still couldn't think of anything. This thing was really gonna suck, wasn't it.