c'mon, im poppin' my collar.
"Goddamnit, Sasuke!"
This had to be the fucking fifteenth time the bastard has tried to drag me out to one of those boring golf games. It was SIX'o Clock in the morning for one thing! I hadn't had a decent amount of sleep on Saturday for the past three weeks.
I don't play golf; I'm never going to play golf. Does Sasuke play golf? I demand an answer, and maybe after I get one, I can get my lazy ass back to bed.
So, I'm being cruelly dragged away against my will, screaming with all that I am worth that he lets me go. I could carefully choose to pray to whatever god was listening to open up a very deep black hole filled with evil golf balls. That would teach the bastard never to drag me out to another game!
"Sit down dobe, you're catching attention."
I could almost hear him counting to three in his head, which pissed me off even more. How dare he tell me what to do!
"TEME! What right do you have to tell me what I'm supposed to do?" I took in a big breath.
He sighed, and his attention was turned towards the golf player once again. I don't understand what's up with these golf games anyway, just look at their shoes! Aha, what about the pants ...that guy has a pretty big ass. His ass is fucking huge, big is an understatement. I kind of have the urge to poke it.
"Ne, Sasuke. Do you see his ass? It's huge!"
Sasuke said nothing, but a quick look at his eyes and you would've caught the small bit of amusement flash through them.
"If his ass is that big, don't you wander what size his dick is?"
At that comment, Sasuke coughed.
I thought it would be pretty damn awesome to see how many reactions I could get out of Sasuke by talking about the sizes of dicks. I mean, c'mon! You can basically tell what the people are packing if you just pay enough attention to them! Speaking of which, I wander what would happen if I pestered Sasuke about his own package.
"So Sasuke, how big is your hoagie? (1)"
"Excuse me?"
He didn't look the least bit awkward, and his smirk began to fall into place. I knew what he was going to do. Somehow, he was going to fire my own question right back at ME!
"So, do you like Milk? (2)"
Now, it was my turn to look completely baffled and dumbfounded at the question. How dare he ask me if I preferred hotdogs? That's MY business anyway!
"I've heard Milk is sweet with a little ...sugar."
Just as I was about to retort to his second comment, everyone on the benches gasped.
"Hole in One!"
Sasuke almost laughed, almost. That smirk of his only seemed to grow bigger within seconds. I looked at him for a moment; he fidgeted slightly and stood up.
He walked straight away from the benches, towards the bathrooms, and didn't come out for the entire game.
--
"Sasuke! You made me come all the way out here, and you didn't even stay for the dumbass thing!"
He looked around the field for a moment, and the smirk was back. It was getting pretty damn dark too; you could see little bats floating around the tops of the trees.
"You see Naruto, I've never really played golf."
He started to walk towards me, smirking heavily. I was preparing myself to say something else when he interrupted my train of thought. He slowly lifted my shirt off of me, and threw it to the ground.
"The game hasn't ever sprung interest in my mind, or at least, not until today."
I don't know how, but we ended up falling.
"Tem--"
Whelp! There went my shoes.
"Have you ever played golf Naruto? Ever gotten a hole. In. one?"
Pants. Gone.
"What the hell are you talking about? Bastard!"
Underwear, god only knows what happened to it, and I'm not religious.
"Let's play. I'll be the one in your hole."
--
The Next morning, my ass hurt like a bitch, and the only thing I remember saying to Sasuke was;
"That is the corniest shit, I've ever heard."
I learned golf was a hard game. It took concentration, and carefully aimed movements to get to just the right spot. Its a game that almost anyone can play. Set your mind to it, and do it.
So I swear, No one will ever see this Uzumaki Naruto within 100 ft. of a golf course, ever again...
Or at least, not until next Saturday.
(1) You remember the hoagie? That greasy ass salami like sandwich the lunch ladies would give you in elementary school? xD
(2) Ive heard, Milk is another word for Semen.
Anyways, Yeah, it was supposed to be extremely stupid and corny. I don't care, flame me!
I thought 'Ace in The Hole' was funny as shit, so I decided I would write something to go with it. Much love to my readers!
R&R my adorable little readers!