*This is a chain of strange fanfictions intended for my very special friends to enjoy whilst I'm away and can't be a weirdo in person. I'll try to update regularly, but be warned that it's rated M for a reason.

Betrothed in the corridors, further prescribed to the majestic field Hogwarts, I could feel the wind lick my shins, raveling up my legs, sending dark premonitions to my promiscuous areas. The black lake stared at me, and I stared directly back.

"Profligate, are we now?" Came the nasally tone of a familiar coworker.

"Severus, either fuck off or fuck me." I whined, flipping my leg over the balcony rail in a degenerate manner.

"Ooooooooooooooerrrrrrrr," Severus flushed with both colour and shame, "Wonton, Albus."

There was a caressing shiver down my spine and into my more fond regions as he said my name, 'Albus.'

"Dear, Professor, I do believe the term is . . ." I struck another pose, this time with my back poking out of my robes, my nipples relishing in the touch of my wistful beard, "Wanton."

"Ooooooooooooooeeerrrr, Headmaster, are you masturbating with the wind?"

"Heavens, yes!"

"You know I have a softspot for the redheads, not to mention the fact that my nipples are already wet . . ." he blushed as I placed a red-hair charm upon my silvery locks, "Sempai."

"Sevvy, you said you would see Madame Pomfery about that inconvenience." I groaned, wanting to throw the chit-chat over the balcony ledge as I bent over and fingered mybutthole.

"It's only inconvenient when Potter's in the room." The dark-haired man began to be further more flustered. "With his tiny tush he likes to flaunt. We can all bet why the bottles he ever so often turns in always have that intoxicating, sweet smell. You know, he gets it from his mother."

"Severus!" I gasped with pleasure as I rubbed my poop juices over my desperate nipples, "Are you suggesting that the smell of one's butthole is transferred through genetics? Certainly, the whole staff knows where Potter likes to keep his potions assignments."

"Stop talking about the scent!" Severus whined, feeling the liquid secreted from his nipples reach his navel.

"You seem to like it." I winked, spreading my butthole wide.

"Albus-"

"Say my name one more time!" I interrupted, feeling my inner juices prepare themselves for extreme joy.

"Albus?" He stammered.

"Mmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmm?" I moaned.

"Albus." he said with fear.

"Don't be afraid. I'm ready. penetrate me hard." I almost scoffed.

"Albus!"

"I'm getting impatient, you lustful libertine." I began to do that new dance; after all Miley Cyrus is my homie.

"Albus-" he shouted.

"PENETRATE ME, DAMMIT!" I groaned once again.

"WATCH OUT, YOU HORNY BASTARD!"

"WATCH OUT FOR YOUR DRIZZLING COCK?"

"YOU LITTLE FRICK!" He groaned as a giant claw presumably went up his butthole.

"I prefer to be called nasty." I shuddered, turning around to see his giant cock poking out from his trouser in a childlike manner, perhaps in rebound from the feathered friend that was inside his bum.

"What is this lecherous creature!?" He cried.

"Just let it happen, ho." I grinned with relish.

"What are you doing?" He breathed as I straddled his butthole.

"I've notice your lustful winks, sensual signs, and quickened heart, Severus." I smirked as the mutter of his name had the same shivering effect.

"What is inside me?" He cried.

"I believe it is that little owl some young ones call, 'Pig.'" I slyly recalled.

"It's so far up my butthole!" I gaped.

"I can get it out." I whispered in his ear, intimate and wet.

"But how?" He lewdly griped.

"TimeLord's honey." I smiled.

"But how!?" He wailed. "How can you behold that of TimeLord's honey!?"

"But of course, I have connections . . . and dates." I shamelessly giggled.

"Sempai, why is he frolicking in my BUTTHOLE!?" he yelped.

"I believe it is a she, Severus. You have the Evans scent on your butthole!" I gasped.

"No! No I don't!" he quickly heaved.

"There is no need to lie here." I winked.

"Alright, I admit it." He sighed.

"You have the sex with the Potter!?" I blushed at the horny thought.

"Of course not! i only wished my butthole would smell as nice as his, so I stuck up his last potions assignment!"
"Well, I can help you get the bird out from your stanky britches." I said.

"Timelord's honey?" He gulped.

"No. It would be too sticky for a mortal to withstand without the presence of a Timelord." I winked.

"Then what do you mean? Your big cock would just ram it up further."

"Silly Sevvy, my pee pee is only three inches. I know of a better substance that wouldn't require practically stealing the time from your soul." I impishly declared.

"Would it still work to get the feathers out?" he cried.

"Every last one." I smirked.

"Alright."

"Alright!" I smiled!

I hungrily took both of his cheeks in my hand, only to refrain myself to a tease. I put my hands in his hair and absorbed every last ounce of the grease with my wang and wand.

"Engorgio!" I casted, and the droplets increased in size, almost dripping of my cock as I rammed it inside of him. Within seconds, the vile liquid from his hair had gassed out the poor creature, and it flew out from Sev's butthole within minutes of poundage.

"Is it gone?" He sobbed.

"Ooooooo, you know I'm frolicsome, dear Severus."

"Why are you saying my name so much? Why are you still in my butthole!?"

"You cannot stop me!" I said, licking up his spine.

"Alright. Go all night." He complied.

"Alright."

"Alright!"