I was screwed. Royally screwed. How else could you describe my situation? Here I sat, watching, agony and jealousy ripping through me, as my best friend for four years walked down the halls at school with his new girlfriend.

There he was, the guy who laughed with me and talked with me and made me fall for him –my best friend, Jasper Hale.

I bit my lip, and held on tighter to my books as he passed me, giving me a grin with all those pearly white teeth and those wide, soft lips…

I turned around swiftly, ignoring his ecstatic grin and ignoring the tears leaking down my face. I shut my locker with a loud bang that was hardly heard in the crowded hallway and walked with haste to make it to my best friend's classroom. I arrived and peeked around the doorframe to make sure he hadn't arrived yet. With a sigh of relief I spotted only a few students, chatting idly and waiting for class to start, with my best friend sitting a few seats back and concentrating on finishing an assignment.

"Rose," I hissed. She looked up with annoyance until she saw it was me, and smiled. Her smile quickly faltered when she took in my face. Quickly, she stood up, dodging books and backpacks as she paced down the aisle and came to the doorway.

"Bella, what's wrong?" she asked quickly, though her face looked like she knew.

"Did you know that he got a girlfriend? That he actually got together with her at that party?" I asked in a whisper.

She wrinkled her nose and looked at me with pity. It didn't help one bit, as more tears swept from my eyelids and down my pale face. I shook my head, and started to walk away to my class; I was late.

"Wait, Bella!" she called, striding towards me with her long legs and catching up.

"Rose, I have to go."

"I'm sorry I didn't warn you," she said, grabbing my arm. "I was hoping that you wouldn't find out so soon…"

"I go to school with him. I see him every morning. He's my best friend! How could I have not found out soon?"

She sighed again. "I'm sorry," she repeated.

I stared at her for a long moment, and then nodded. "I know. Me too," I whispered, then ran in the opposite direction, really running late now.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. Jasper was my everything; he was my best friend and one of the only guys I could rely on to be true and honest with me. None of the guys our age were like him –he was calm and collected and cool and amazing. He understood me, and I understood him. We were two peas in a pod. Why couldn't he feel that? Why did he have to be with Alice?

I'm sure she was amazing; but she barely knew him! They met only a week ago, and already they were together.

It wasn't fair.

I stood outside my classroom door for a few moments, trying to collect myself before I entered. I wiped away the tears impatiently and took a deep, steadying breath.

I could do this. I could do this. I could do this.

First hour English passed in a haze of self loathing and day dreaming about better days when Jasper didn't talk to any other girls besides his sister –Rose, and me. I dreamt about sunshine (figuratively; Forks was the rainiest place on the planet) days when Jasper told me everything.

He didn't anymore; we were still best friends, but for the past few months he had set his eyes on girls with character, and good looks. He was turning into someone I didn't grow up with, someone I didn't fall in love with. He had dates every weekend, sometimes multiple times during the week, and I was sure he barely even noticed me anymore.

That didn't stop me from loving him. The fact that suddenly he had muscles and had gotten rid of his glasses so you could see his pale blue eyes more clearly only made me want him more. The fact that he told jokes to other people now, and was showing the charisma that I always loved about him only made me more jealous.

Maybe I was kidding myself about still being best friends with him. We barely talked anymore; I should just move on, since obviously he had.

However being the masochistic type of girl I was, I couldn't bring myself to leave him behind. Not yet. I just wanted a little more time with him, any time I could get. I was always over at his house; chances are I'd see him more, now that he was finally going steady with a girl. He wouldn't have as many dates with girls, because he already found one.

Right?

"Miss Swan? The answer," Mr. Bates demanded.

I looked up from the notebook I was staring at dully, and blushed furiously. "Umm… I'm sorry, I didn't hear the question," I told him.

He seemed peeved this morning. It probably wasn't the best time for me to daze.

"If you aren't willing to pay attention now, then perhaps you can pay attention in detention after school. Now…" he moved on to another subject while I stared at him, dumbfounded and hurt even more.

It was quickly turning into the worst day of my existence.

I skipped lunch, unwilling to be anywhere that I could see the happy couple holding hands and whispering as they were prone to do, instead walking towards the library.

Someone whispered to my right, and I heard a door slam open, a series of giggles and a hearty chuckle that I'd recognize anywhere. Turning, I spotted Jasper and Alice coming out of the storage closet just in front of me. They looked flushed, and were all smiley.

I bit my lip and blushed at finding them. "Bella!" Jasper said happily. Alice smiled at me too, saying a quick and excited "Hello!"

I nodded at them, trying to keep a grimace off of my mouth, and continued on to the library, practically running.

I didn't remember much of the rest of that day. Alice and Rose happened to be in my fourth hour, but I avoided both of their gazes.

I didn't hate her; Alice was one of the nicest girls I had ever met –a tiny ball of happy karma.

But I was too jealous of her, and honestly a little intimidated of her so I only ever answered her polite comments with stiff, short ones.

I dreaded the hour's long detention so much that I was actually considering faking some disease so that I wouldn't be forced to sit in the hard desk, in front of Mr. Banner, doing nothing but losing a stare-down.

Unfortunately my imagination wasn't apt to giving me any fool-proof solutions today; I trudged to the empty classroom with a down expression on my face and a heavy heart.

It really was the worst day ever.

I thought that my detention would be empty, but it appeared the English teacher was having one of those days. Another student, one I only knew by sight even with the size of our school, sat in the back row. I walked to the second to last row, determined to be as far away from the hated teacher as possible, but feeling awkward sitting too close to the other kid.

After a long speech about disrupting the class by not doing what we should be doing (yadda, yadda, yadda) Mr. Banner retreated to the teacher's lounge, commanding that we don't talk and stay here until he comes to fetch us.

I rolled my eyes as he left, leaning forward to put my head in my hands. I sighed deeply, wondering how I could ever move on from Jasper Hale. He was my life. But apparently I was no longer his.

The thought was so depressing that I wanted to bust out the Ben & Jerry's and never emerge from my room again.

"Are you okay?" a silky voice asked.

I looked up and to my left quickly, causing my neck to crick. Wincing in pain and massaging it gently, I took in the boy. He was tall with dirty blonde hair, dark blue eyes and a stubble on his chin. He was probably a senior, like Jasper.

He was pretty cute, and had that flirty look on his face, even though he was trying to look concerned at the moment.

I nodded at him, saying a short, "I'm fine, thanks," in reply before reaching in my bag for a notebook so I could pretend like I was doing something.

I grabbed my cell phone while I was at it and noticed a text from Rose: "I know you've had a rough day honey, and my only advice is this: Try to move on. My brother isn't worth all the drama.

"Try dating someone else, Bella. There are plenty of guys in Forks High… Just date around, like he did. Maybe you'll find someone else. Or maybe he'll realize he likes you too. Either way, try to smile. "

I sighed out loud, and closed the text.

Rose didn't get why I liked her brother sometimes; she was like that though –half the time squealing about it and wanting us together, and the other half shrugging and telling me to move on.

But I loved him. It wasn't that easy, which she would know if she listened to me for a second when I tried to convince her that my feelings were serious and not just a product of me never having experience with a guy before.

"You're Bella Swan, right?" the blonde guy behind me asked. I looked at him again, almost wrinkling my nose. Couldn't he just leave me be?

"Ya, that's me," I replied. "Who are you?"

He smiled a quick, easy smile that was actually very catching. "I'm James. Are you a sophomore?"

I did wrinkle my nose this time. "Junior," I said, annoyed again.

He nodded like he knew that the whole time. "So, what's up with you?"

I shook my head. "You don't know me; I'm not going to spill my problems to you," I told him with a quick eye roll.

"What do you not talk to strangers?" he asked, half mocking and half flirting. "Besides… you could know me." He smiled.

I rolled my eyes again, but felt a weird flutter in my heart.

He was flirting with me. It felt… nice. Especially after the day I'd had.

"No thanks," I replied daintily, turning back in my seat to face the front.

There was a sound of the desk scraping the linoleum floor, and then James was suddenly sitting in front of me, sitting in the desk the opposite way to face me. He smiled at my expression, and winked.

"I figured I could see your beautiful eyes better this way," he said offhandedly.

I tried to keep a straight face, but found myself smiling.

He laughed at me, and asked, "So how did you come to be here?"

"Banner was in a bad mood and I was day dreaming. You?" I shot back.

"He calls it wasting paper, I call it practicing." At my confused expression he explained. "Paper airplanes. Five out of seven landed in the trash can."

I laughed lightly. James smiled at me, and then suddenly grabbed my hand. I froze, almost withdrawing it from his grasp, but he only held it tighter.

"Why haven't I seen you around before, Bella?"

"You must've, or you wouldn't have known my name," I informed him. He smiled again.

"Alright," he agreed. "So why haven't we gone out before?"

I blushed, and looked down at the desk then spotting our hands clasped together, and then turning a deeper maroon color.

"I don't know you," I told him in a squeaky voice.

"You can," he told me, again. I blushed more, continually, until he dropped my hand. However he just reached over and brought my chin up to look at him.

"I like you," he said in a decided voice. "Will you go out with me this Saturday?"

I gulped nervously. This had never happened to me before. What was I supposed to do? I was in love with Jasper, I wanted him…

But Rose had said to date other people… Maybe this would help me get over Jasper. Did I really want to do that? Did I want to move on from him? No, I decided.

She also mentioned that Jasper might realize he likes me too… If that were even possible…

Maybe I should date someone else. Maybe it would make him jealous. Maybe there was a chance this could work to my favor.

I studied James as my face still blushed red and I thought about it. He waited patiently, that easy smile on his face. I didn't know him at all, and my dad being a cop I had learned about stranger danger when I was two. But how bad could he be? He looked nice. He talked to me decently.

And he was showing interest… I wasn't desperate for guys. Only for one. But if that wasn't going to happen then why not have a little fun? Why not opt for a distraction. This could work out in my favor.

"Sure," I told him, smiling a little. "I'll go out with you."

He grinned at me, taking my hand again and squeezing it –a little tighter than was comfortable. I bit my lip, suddenly unsure. What had I just gotten in to?

But it wasn't like I couldn't back out after one date. Who said it had to be anything with a commitment? I could change my mind.

Right?

Ten days later, James was my boyfriend.

In all honesty, I wasn't sure how it happened so quickly. All I knew was that he was nice, and charming, and charismatic, and he liked me a lot. Our date had gone extremely well, and we hung out every day after that. He kissed me only a few days after meeting him, and even though I didn't think I was prepared in the slightest, I liked it. It happened so quickly, I couldn't object. He was fun to be around and fun to kiss. Why not?

I couldn't have Jasper. I had almost accepted that completely, and I figured being his girlfriend would be a good way to get him out of my system.

Rose didn't like him all that much; she had this funny look on her face every time I mentioned him or she was in his company –kind of like she smelled something awful. But I ignored that. It wasn't like Rose like a lot of people in general, anyways.

It was Thursday afternoon on the second week after James and I started dating. I was walking toward my last class of the day, smiling a little about the flirty text I had received from James just a few seconds ago, when I heard my name being called. I looked around, and spotted Jasper running towards me.

I cursed my heart for drumming so loudly, and tried to smile at him.

"Bella, can I talk to you?" Jasper asked me quickly, not waiting for an answer as he dragged me to a safe spot in the crowded hall way.

"Uh, sure, what's up?" I asked.

"You're…" he hesitated, looking at me with an ashamed look on his cute face, "You're dating that guy now, James?"

I frowned, and nodded. "Yes."

"You shouldn't," he blurted out.

I stared at Jasper for a moment, unwilling to hear this. Was I not allowed to get a happy ending? Was it enough that I already loved him, couldn't he just leave me alone to be happy with some other guy?

I shook the thoughts out of my head and replied stiffly, "And why is that?"

Jasper bit his lip again, a habit that he had unconsciously picked up from me years ago, and sighed. "Bella he's just… not good. For you."

"Why not?"

"Bella, please, just… break it off. I don't like the look of him, and it worries me that you're with him."

"Do you even know him?"

"Do you?" he shot back.

I glared at him, and he looked shocked. "Jasper Hale, don't come over here and try to dictate whom I do and do not date. Last time I checked, you didn't care."

I started to walk away, towards my last period just as the warning bell rang.

"Bella, wait!" he called after me. I shook my head to myself and walked faster away from him.

After school I met up with James and his friends –Laurent, Victoria, and Irina. They all sat around his car, laughing about something. James saw my expression and rushed over to me.

"Bella, babe, what's wrong?" he asked, frowning.

I sighed and reluctantly and quickly told him what happened with Jasper. "He hasn't even spoken to me since he started dating Alice, why does he care? He has no right!" I fumed.

James nodded. "Bella, maybe you should just stay away from him."

I looked up at James, shocked. "Why?"

He shrugged. "If he's treating you this way, why would you want to hang around with him anyways? He sounds like a jerk, leaving you for that girl like he did."

When he put it that way… My heart broke a little more.

"But he's been my friend for years," I told him quietly.

"Bella, I don't think you should hang around with guys who are two-faced like that. Babe, it isn't right. Why would he do that to you?" I nodded along with him, a little numb.

James smiled lightly. "Come on I'll take you home," he said. He leaned down, catching my lips, and kissed me chastely. Laurent whistled, causing the girls to laugh. Then James chuckled and kissed me some more, moving his lips with mine in a rough way that I wasn't used to, but didn't object to.

I was about to pull away, aware of his friends standing there still, when his hands travelled from my arms to my waist, before grabbing my lower back and pushing me towards him firmly. I blushed, and froze, unsure in this situation. He continued kissing me, moving his tongue into my mouth and eventually I caught on. After a full minute of this, he released me, winking, and opened the door of his car for me.

"Um, thanks," I said quietly, blushing furiously. He laughed a little, and Laurent wolf-whistled once more before the door slammed shut. My heart was racing, and I closed my eyes for a moment.

He was different than Jasper. And obviously Jasper didn't want me in his life in the way I craved him… It was time to move on. And like I said, James was different. He was new and exciting in a way.

I liked him. Maybe I could love him like I loved Jasper.