I do not own bleach in any form or fashion. I am writing this for fun and not profit. So dear god don't sue me.

A girl walks down a back alley in a small Japanese town. Her black hair cut short matches the shihakusho, a katana, at her side looking at a strange cell phone. "I know it's around here somewhere." Slowly a pair of glowing yellow eyes appear behind and a large frog like creature with a white mask jumped in front of her as she quickly put her cell phone in her kimono. "Hollow…" her hand on her katana ready to draw it at any second. The hollow then turns around and lashes it tongue at the girl as she draws her katana a second too late as it pulls it towards her quickly. As she is pulled towards it mouth one of its teeth stab's her left arm while at the same time she cuts off it's tongue with her katana. She jumps back and away from the hollow and mutters "damn." Charging forward at the stunned hollow as she swung her blade vertically cutting the hollow's head in half, as its' body disintegrated. She then sheaths her sword and begins walking away holding the wound on her left arm and stopped as her phone goes off. Pulling the phone from her kimono and opening it, "Damn, this one is all the way across town" as she turns and walks in the other direction.

"Damn it, I'm tired of all these god damned spirits," says a teenage boy with messy orange hair as he lays in bed staring at the ceiling somewhat lost in thought.

Suddenly an older man with even messier black hair rushes in and jumps in the air as he attempts to kick the teenager in the chest with both feet as he yells "BE QUIET ICHIGO IT IS LATE."

Ichigo quickly sits up and grabs the man's legs and slams him into the floor face first as he yells back "WELL KICKING YOUR SON IN THE CHEST ISN'T TOO POLITE THIS LATE EITHER."

Isshin, Ichigo's father, quickly stands up and lets out a shout "NOT BAD ICHIGO" he says before regaining his composure "I have nothing left to teach you my son."

A door opens downstairs and two young female voices can be heard from downstairs, "Dad get down here fast, I think this guy was shot!"

Isshin's face suddenly turns soft and emotional as he yells downstairs, "Coming daughters." As he leaves the room he turns to Ichigo, the serious look back on his face, "Keep it down up here or else." Laughter ensues as he runs down the stairs.

Ichigo lies back down, "Ugh the old man is really starting to get on my nerves. Not to mention it's a miracle I haven't broken half the bones in his body, not to mention mine." Rubbing his obviously sore neck he turns his head as he hears someone outside his window.

"That stupid hollow," says a girl with short black hair and a wound on her left arm as she walks through the window of Ichigo's bedroom. She then glances around the room, "Now where the hell is the next one at?"

Ichigo notices her as he sits up panicked pointing at her saying louder than intended, "WHO AND WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?"

As soon as Ichigo finishes saying that Isshin yells up stairs, "I TOLD YOU TO BE QUIET ICHIGO."

The girl then turns her head towards Ichigo, a perplexed look on her face, "You can see me?"

Ichigo, not wanting to have to hurt his father that many times in a single night lowers his voice as he says, "How the hell couldn't I see you bitch, now answer my question."

She once again looks confused as she says, "How rare a human that can actually see me."

"Goddamn it, answer my question already!"

"Hmmm? Oh yes your questions. I am Kuchiki Rukia, a Shinigami. And that's why I was surprised you saw me. Not many mortals have the ability to see the dead. You should consider yourself lucky."

Ichigo looking irritated responds, "A gift? Helping every damn spirit that bugs the living shit out of me, cause they cant fucking move on? Oh yeah that's a real 'gift.' What a load of shit, if I ever have to help another damn spirit again it will be too soon."

Rukia's voice suddenly became quite cold "What an ungrateful brat."

Ichigo's expression suddenly became rather angry again "What the hell do you mean ungrateful you stuck up bitch. I'm the one stuck dealing with this shit everyday"

"Incase you didn't know punk my job is to help that 'shit' finish its existence in this world"

Ichigo began laughing for a few seconds as he pointed at her "Man I am so glad I don't have your job I don't think I could stand dealing with that day in and day out."

Rukia's face tightened and she angrily shouted, "YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO GOD DAMN SMUG ABOUT IT YOU KNOW YOU BASTARD!"

Ichigo began laughing again for several seconds. "I KNEW YOU HAD TO HATE YOUR JOB."

Isshin then yells from down stairs "ICHIGO BE QUIET OR I WILL HAVE TO SHOW YOU MY NEW AND IMPROVED FLYING DAD KICK" Ichigo began mumbling incoherently under his breath from his dad's threat.

Before Rukia could react to Isshin's insane comment she turns her head "It's here." She then jumps through Ichigo's window outside but as soon as she makes it out the window, a hollow slightly taller than one story building hits her knocking her into a light pole.

When Ichigo sees Rukia get knocked into the light pole he quickly jumps out the window stumbling a little as he lands on the ground below him. He quickly notices the large hollow jumping back as it tries to grab him. "Damn that thing is big."

Rukia calls for Ichigo as she unsheathes her sword "Run yourself through on my sword if you want to live"

"What? I should stab myself with a sword to live? Your crazier than I thought"

"It will give you powers like mine. If you don't your entire family will die and end up like this monster. Do you want this to happen?" The hollow began rushing towards the pair.

"You better be right about this" Ichigo stabbed himself on Rukia's katana and a bright white light appeared as the hollow covered its eye from the flash of light.

Ichigo began to look around. He had on a similair outfit to Rukia however he couldn't find his sword. However this question was quickly answered as he felt the weight of his rather large blade resting on his back. He quickly drew the blade as he charged the still stunned hollow. As he got closer to it, it regained its composure grabbing Ichigo's blade with its hand inches from its face. Ichigo quickly applied more pressure cutting through the hollows hand as well as the rest of its body vertically.

Rukia whispered quietly to herself "Amazing, such strength and the size of his zanpakuto…I knew he had high reiatsu but that is absurd for a mere human"

Ichigo looked around now that there was no threat spotting his body lying on the ground. "WHAT THE HELL I'M DEAD??" Ichigo quickly ran over to his body right before he reached it he tripped and fell landing directly on or in the case in his body. He stood up brushing himself off realizing he was back in his body he wiped the non-existent sweat from his forehead. He then turned to Rukia "You could have told me I would leave my body." He then turned and headed into the front door of his house. Rukia lay there stunned unable to say a word.

Isshin came walking out of the clinic part of the house his clothes spackled with blood as Ichigo walks in. "What were you doing outside son? Sneaking out to see a girl?" he said hopefully. Ichigo simply ignored his father as he walked upstairs and lay down.

Rukia outside finally regained her composure and began to try to rise however, she found herself to weak to do so. Then a mysterious man walked up. His most prominent features were his green and white bucket hat, his odd wooden sandals and his cane despite his young appearance. He stopped in front of Rukia and turned to her "Well it looks like you could use a gigai and a place to recover."

The only thing Rukia could say before she passed out of exhaustion was "You."

"Yes me"

If you managed to make it through this thanks. But I would be a hell of a lot more thankful if you would leave a review.

The grammar in this would have semblance of that of a three year-old autistic child if not for me, gravo. I am his roommate/beta/terror of infinite proportions. You should read Jigokuniochiru, my horribly depressing Naruto fic

Your master and overlord,

gravo