The door closes behind James with a thump, and Lena's head falls forward into the waiting palms of her hands. She squeezes her eyelids tight against the tears swirling beneath them, tucks her chin closer to her chest, hands following to hide her crumpling features from the empty office.
She pulls tighter toward herself, heels of her hands digging into her eyes, fingers twisting in her hair, loosening it from the ponytail.
A scream gets lodged in the tightness of her throat; she wants to throw something or kick or shatter another object into irreparable pieces but heaviness immobilizes her—an ache deep in her marrow, radiating from inside her chest and clattering against every part inside her. Hollowing, hollowing, hollowing.
She wants to pour alcohol into her bloodstream until she's numb and sick, but nothing moves, nothing works.
So, she sits. A crumbled silhouette against the night sky, and lets time batter her to bone.
Vibrations break her paralysis. Incessant buzzing that disagrees with the silence and drills its way into her skull. The disruption of her ruminations almost draws a sigh of relief, but the throbbing that follows and flares behind her eyes sucks the air from inside her lungs.
She grapples with the growing mess on her desk, finally swiping a finger across the screen.
The noise is replaced by something soft, something sweeter.
"Lena?" Kara's voice carries over the phone, and Lena realizes she must have swept in the wrong direction, fumbled her way into gripping a lifeline cast out into the chopping waves.
The stab at Lena's temple dissipates with the introduction of the blonde's easy timbre.
"Kara?"
Lena's voice is hoarse from the effort to hold back the tsunami swirling inside her.
"Hey, I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing?" Kara flops back against the couch's armrest, tapping her toes against Alex's thigh and smirking until her sister lets the blonde put her feet in her lap while she pulls up a movie for them and Brainy to watch. "It's been a while and I heard about the whole Thanksgiving thing."
The silence ticks by. Lena parts her lips to speak but it feels like there's glue in her throat and her head is so, so heavy. Her forehead meets the crook of her elbow, bent flat across her desk.
"Lena?"
The quiet betrays the turmoil raging in Lena's head.
"You still there?"
She misses a breath and feels herself choking. "I'm here, Kara. I'm sorry."
At home, Kara pulls her leg out from beneath her and stands from the couch. Alex shoots her a glance, head tilted to the side, brows knit in concern, and Kara wishes she could wave off the worry, but a twin nervousness bundles inside her at Lena's flat tone, her lead lined words.
"You're never going to forgive me."
"Lena, what are you talking about? If this is about James, I'm not upset with you at all. He was way out of line, and just—just cruel, quite frankly, in the things that he said."
"No," Lena makes to protest but a mere moan passes through her watery lips. Her words slur, drunk on grief. "It's not that, it's not that. I didn't mean to… I—I'm going to go."
"Lena, hold on," Kara pleads, worrying her lip between her teeth. Her socked feet slide over the floor as she paces through the kitchen. "You're not making any sense and I'm getting worried. What's going on?"
"I'm sorry." She raises her head, gets it halfway before she has to rest it against her propped elbow, moving her other hand to hover above the button to hang up.
"No, no, Lena, I didn't mean it like that. It's okay."
A whimper escapes the Luthor's throat.
"Hey, you're okay. Whatever's going on, we're going to get through it, okay?"
Lena's breath hitches. She retracts her hand from the phone and curls it into a fist against her chest, the pain so acute it shreds her apart.
Kara bounces on the balls of her feet, shaking out a hand at her side. "Are you at L-Corp? I'm going to come see you."
"You don't have to do that." Lena sucks in a breath, reigning in the pain that floods out and winding it back inside her. "I'm—I'm okay."
"Like hell you are," Kara pushes. "I promised I'd always be there for you, and I'm not going to let you down. I'll be there in a few minutes, you hang on, all right?"
Lena nods and swallows hard. "Okay."
"I'll see you soon."
"Okay." Lena lets out a shaky sigh. "Thank you, Kara."
"Of course," Kara promises and lowers the phone as Lena hangs up.
"What's going on?"
Alex's voice pulls Kara's gaze in her direction and away from the blue light of the screen.
"It's, uhh, it's Lena," Kara says and slides her feet into the closest pair of shoes by the door. "She's really upset about something. I'm going to go see her, I don't want her to be alone, but you guys feel free to stay here. Just don't… don't wait up for me."
"Okay." Alex nods, brown eyes wide with understanding and something Kara can't place as she runs a hand through her hair and straightens her sweater with Alex still looking in her direction, head tilted and lips turned in a sad smile.
She reaches for her sister, pulling Kara in for a quick hug. "Go take care of her. Let me know if either of you need anything, all right?"
Kara nods and gives Alex one last squeeze. "Thanks."
"Lena is in trouble?" Brainy asks, looking up from his bowl of popcorn for the first time since Kara got up. "What is the circumstance? Should I assist Director Danvers in assembling a team?"
Kara shakes her head and places an arm on Brainy's shoulder. "I don't think it's that kind of trouble. I think she's sad."
"Oh." Brainy processes the information before giving a slow nod, crunching on popcorn. "Her boxes must have broken."
Kara's brows crease, gaze alternating from Brainy to Alex for further explanation but Brainy resumes watching the TV, no longer allotting even a sliver of his attention on the blonde, and Alex only has a shrug to offer.
"Okay," Kara breathes out with a huff. "I'm gonna go. I'll see you two later."
/
Lena's features are awash in gold light as Kara pushes open the door. Raindrops cling to her hair as she enters the dim space, latches onto Lena and the woman's gaze trained on the wall across the room. Her right-hand taps, taps, taps against the desk. Up and down; up and down. And her left hand worries its way across her lip.
"Hey," Kara whispers, easing the door closed behind her. It clinks in place and Kara steps closer. "Lena?"
Green eyes droop in her direction and the hand that raises to rub at their red edges shakes.
"You okay?" Kara's reached Lena's desk, grips a hand around the edge, her posture a long slant in front of the CEO.
The breath Lena tries to take buckles in her chest cavity; tears surge from the corners of her eyes, clenched shut; curled fingers shield her face, the others raise to build space between herself and Kara.
"Oh, Lena," Kara murmurs and Lena drops her hand, the wall crumbling.
Kara's arms open and Lena fills the space between them.
Like water in a cup. Like magnets.
The blonde's hand sprawls over Lena's back as it jumps with the sobs wracking her body. She rubs her shoulder, keeps her tethered as Lena trembles all over.
"You want to talk about it?" Kara asks.
Damp, warm skin brushes against the crook of Kara's shoulder as Lena shakes her head. She pulls back to shove away the tear tracks under her eyes.
"hey, hey." Kara interrupts the harsh movements and guides Lena's hands away from the bruising at her cheek bones.
"Not yet," Lena gasps, ignoring Kara's protest at the punishment of her own limbs. "I don't want you to leave." She tightens her fingers where Kara's interlaced them with her own, pulls the entanglement toward her chest. "You're going to leave when you know."
Kara shakes her head, lips brushing Lena's hairline. "I'm not going anywhere, Lena. Not when my best friend in the whole world needs someone." Blonde hair spills around the Luthor as Kara shakes her head again and uses her free hand to secure Lena in a tight embrace, frames fitted together. "Not a chance. Not ever."
Lena buries her head in Kara's shoulder as a new flurry of tears arises. "Tomorrow." She squeezes Kara's hand. "Promise."
Kara sways them in a slow dance of shifting weight and buoying trust. "Whenever you're ready. Until then, I'll be right here with you."