This scenario was not what Ruby expected upon returning to terra firma a full decade (Earth time) later. In fact, this scenario was the complete and total antithesis of what she anticipated. She lost count of many years- no, centuries!- she spent in hell after Lilith banished her back there, but to say it was unpleasant as fuck would be a massive understatement. Okay, that wasn't true. She spent 1,216 years and four months in hell. Her tormenters made her count every. Single. Day. Every single hour, every single millisecond even! The demon that claimed to be her right before Lilith died was not her. Obviously. A cheap imitation at best. Of course, Short Bus and Sammy were easily fooled, prejudiced little meat sacks. But part of her loved those meat sacks. A very small part of her that still embarrassed her, the human part.

Now what was the scenario to which she alluded, you ask? Simple. Upon her escape from the pit, Ruby had the great fortune of possessing a witch. A very powerful witch, as luck would have it. Even after all these centuries, her true visage was still clear as day in her mind. Using an ancient transmutation spell, Ruby crafted up an empty body from the surrounding elements. Her own body. Not when she sold her soul but before then. Before her life turned to shit and she was compelled to sell her soul so that her infant might survive the illness with which he had been plagued. Yeah, she got an extra decade with her son but she still ended up becoming doggie chow nevertheless. Yes, Ruby still remembered that day. That hellish day will be burned into her brain for the rest of eternity. On her worst days, she still thinks about shanking herself. Cessation of existence is certainly a preferable alternative to thinking about the son she lost. Did she regret what she did? Only because a ten-year-old little boy spent the remainder of his childhood traumatized and alone. Witnessing death is awful in and of itself. Ruby never wanted to think about what watching one's mother get violently torn apart by an invisible force did to him. But that's enough sob story for one day. This feelings-fest wasn't the embarrassing thing, cupcake. Here goes:

Ruby fucked Dean. It wasn't a passionate, lovemaking musical orgy session. It was a dirty rough-and-tumble in the sheets. She didn't have sex with Dean. She fucked him, like a dog in heat. She needed it. He needed it. Every conceivable thing the two of them had learned, they did on that summer night. May 2017 wasn't particularly kind to either of them. The part that got her was that he knew it was her. He recognized her because her vessel right after she escaped Hell physically resembled the original form she had reconstructed for herself to a T. That being said, he didn't ask questions. He just went for her. She went for him. She'd be lying if she didn't find him at least aesthetically appealing and figured the same was true for him. Strange, he had been nothing but antagonistic toward her for the whole year they knew each other. It was hate sex and nothing more. Ruby was fine with it; hate sex was often her favorite thing.

The thing she didn't count on was missing a period. Two periods, actually. Oh, shit. Upon remaking her body, it slipped her mind that said body was going to be human. Obviously, it was alive! Well, human-ish. More like the demon's physical embodiment. Her demonic spirit had been ingrained into the makeup of the body. She was a body-and-demonic-soul composite once more. It was complicated and Ruby didn't fully understand it herself, but the point was that she wasn't sure she could do this again. She wasn't sure she wanted to do this again. She couldn't be pregnant, could she?

The ten tests she purchased and peed on told her otherwise. She never drank that much water in that short an amount of time before. Stress, yo, it does things to you. Every single one read positive.

Accepting her situation was the easy part. Telling Dean- wait, tracking him down first- was the hard part. She scoured the entire country three times before finally honing in on the Impala and popping into the backseat.

"Hey, short bus," she smiled. The speed with which Dean slammed on the brakes almost catapulted her through the windshield. He did about five double takes.

"Ruby?"

"Got some news for ya, handsome."

Holding up a knitted sweater she conjured up herself (original, right?), Ruby smiled like the Cheshire cat.

"Are you frigging kidding me?"

"Nope. The ten tests I took all agree with me. You can ask them. I can't do this myself, Dean."

Dean just looked at her for a long beat. He loved kids, adored them in fact, and what if she was just playing on that to stay in the Winchesters' lives? Her mere continued existence confirmed her tale of the demon the brothers worked with for the year prior to Lucifer's release. That it hadn't been her. But that May hadn't been good. May was never a good month for the Winchesters. Now they were gonna be adding a hybrid baby into the mix, a Cambion like that Jesse kid from the apocalypse? Dean wasn't sure.

"Okay," he said, and they drove back to the bunker.

Castiel was none too pleased about the arrangement. He heard the second heartbeat emanating from Ruby's abdomen and he face-palmed. The single most human thing either of them had ever seen him do. It would be hilarious if the circumstance that instigated it wasn't so decidedly not funny. He promptly left them alone.

Ruby turned to Dean, "I'm keeping it."

"Ruby-"

"I'm. Keeping. It. My son died when I was human, then I made a deal with a Crossroads demon and it saved him." She blurted. Dean stood there for a moment.

"I didn't know. I-"

"Yeah, you're sorry. I know, short bus."

She folded her arms over her chest and pivoted away from him. That's when Sam descended the staircase.

"Hey, Dean!" Then he saw Ruby and trained his gun on her.

"Whoa! Whoa-whoa-whoa! Sam!"

"Dean, don't you know who that is?!"

"Yeah! It's complicated. Just sit down."

Sam sat on the couch and the duo filled him in. The younger Winchester just nodded. "She sleeps in the farthest room from me," was his response before getting up and burying himself in research.

"I think this is gonna be great," Ruby broke the silence. She and Dean shared a long look before retiring to their separate rooms. True to Sam's request, Ruby selected a room far from him but intentionally close to Dean. If this pregnancy was going to be anything like her first, she absolutely couldn't wait until she could make him her little slave. Hell, she decided right then and there that was exactly what her plan is going to be for both the boys. And Castiel, too, come to think of it. She was gonna relish that. Maybe having Dean Winchester's spawn wasn't going to be so bad after all.