Deja vu Much?

James moved around a bit, trying his best to keep his Armani suit away from the dirty ground. He and his bodyguard had been waiting in thickets for 3 weeks straight, and the number of ruined priceless suits was growing rapidly. "Anything?" he hissed impatiently to Smith. He had no idea how Smith was so patient. He could not sit in one place for over a minute. This was very boring work. The odds were completely against them, but the chances of finding their target could happen at any time, and that was the thought that kept him from not even going.

"No, sir." Smith whispered obediently. James scoffed. If there was one thing he did not posess, it was the power to wait. He was used to quick results, and expected nothing less. He checked his watch. 2:53. If he kept this up he would aquire dark bags under his eyes, which would stick out terribly on his pale, thin face. His father would then comment on how 'the ladies' do not find that 'hot,' and then find him some facial creme and give him more coupons for a tanning booth. James shuddered. He couldn't stand his father's constant hints on what 'the ladies' liked and disliked. His father had gotten it into his mind that his son needed to lose his virginity before he was 18. Being 17, his father figured that he would need to 'set him up' with a girl. James had gone through the torture of going out with over 35 girls who were all exactly alike. Blonde, large-breasted, and with the IQ of a grapefruit. He would only be happy with a girl who's intellect matched his own. Of course, he thought that there weren't any girls like that. How very wrong he was.

"Sir, we have something!" Smith whispered excitedly. James looked at the tiny monitor in Smith's hands. It was heat-seeking, and a small patch of heat was indeed in front of them next to the big tree. James peered over the bushes to see a small figure searching for something on the ground. James felt his heart leap into his throat.

"Open fire." he hissed to Smith. Smith took out a small dart-shooter, and fired at the figure.

Corporal Grub Kelp took off his helmet and began rummaging through the dead, autumn leaves for an acorn. He knew that he would need to complete the Ritual before winter set in. He heard a strange whizzing noise behind him. He turned around just as a stunner dart hit him in the chest.

"Mommy..."

Professor Colehan gave a wide grin. "Students, we have a new student today." Artemis didn't bother looking up. A new student. Goodie. Just another immature 16-year old boy who's hormones were setting in, making them think of nothing but 'getting laid.' Artemis didn't understand how they could be entertained tlaking about nothing but was the do and do not do in their bedrooms with girls. "Please give a warm welcome to-" he looked down at the paper, and furrowed his brow. He walked into the hallway, and they could hear hushed voices, probably of the Professor and Headmaster. Then he came back in with a obviously false grin and said, "please welcome Saint Bartleby's first ever female student, Molly Little." Artemis looked up just in time to see a pretty, auburn-haired girl walk into the room with a vampire smile.

Artemis walked into the room with a bored expression on his face. The school had found a new psychiatrist. He was looking forward to sending him packing, but he was very absent-minded today. His mind was in his room, with the latest transmission from Holly. The newest mystery involved some pixie who had suffered a thievery of their antique golden statue. Artemis' main suspicions were that the thief was a tunneling dwarf. Holly had found a way to get the small transmission into his dormitory. Luckily, the other boys had not yet noticed the strange monitors occasionally turning up on his bed. He was almost positive that most of them had begun spreading rumors that he had an outside source delivering him pornography.

He went to his usual seat, and turned around to see the man. However, all he saw was a computer. He stared at the blank screen, when suddenly an Instant Message popped up. He leaned over to read it.

Hello Artemis. It's nice to finally meet you. I've heard so much about you.

Artemis quickly typed back, Hello there. May I ask why you are not actually confronting me face-to-face? There was a pause.

I'm mute, the message said. But you do not need to type. I can hear you fine.

"Very well." Artemis said aloud.

So Artemis, tell me about yourself. Artemis thought for a moment.

"Well, I'm a boy genius-" he mused. He could have sworn that he heard a slight titter from the shadowed part of the room. "Excuse me, but didn't you tell me that you were mute?" he asked.

Of course I am. Replied the computer.

"Hmm..." Artemis said, stroking his temple. "So why are you hiding?" Another long pause.

Isn't everyone entitled to some privacy?

"Well, for all you know, you could be making me feel insecure, or untrusted." He heard a sigh from the other side of the room. "I knew you weren't mute." he said with a smug grin.

"I knew you would say that." replied a feminine voice. Then, out of the shadows walked Molly Little. "I must say, Artemis, you certainly have rid the school of many psychiatrists. Exactly how many again?" she said, looking through his file. Artemis was stunned. This... girl was the new psychiatrist! She didn't look a day over 16! His age! She smiled at him. "Care to come back from Wonderland, Alice?" she asked.

"Certainly, miss Little. I was just slightly puzzled that a student would be given a spot on the faculty."

"Yes, it is a slightly odd story," she said, nodding. " When I got the job, I was also given the right to watch the students in their natural habitat. Besides, I've been home-schooled my whole life, so I wanted to see what I was missing my whole life." she said, giving him a dazzling smile.

"Not much," he muttered.

"So you are unhappy with the school?" she asked politely, obviously trying to sound only curious, while she was in fact trying to analyze him. He shrugged. Why did you let that slip! He thought angrily. Did you forget that you are supposed to be the one playing mind games?

"Tell me, Miss Little, just how old are you?"

"Sixteen," she replied. "And you?"

"Sixteen as well, though I doubt you didn't know that already." She nodded. "Tell me, don't you think it may be awkward being the only female in an all boys boarding school? For example, where shall you sleep? Surely not the dormitories." Surprisingly, she blushed.

"Actually..." he groaned.

"What room?"

"Room 20," she said, turning an even deeper shade of pink. Of course she already knew he was in that room. She had it in the papers all the faculty recieved. Artemis nearly blushed, but remembered to appear calm and collected.

"Are you planning on telling the other boys that you are not only a peer but a faculty member?" Artemis asked, trying to change the subject.

"No. In fact, you especially were not supposed to find out, but I had a feeling that you would. It was all the headmaster's idea. If you don't mind me saying so, I don't think that he is as clever as the pamphlets cracked him up to be." she said, smiling at him. Artemis was about to agree when his cellphone went off. He checked who it was from and nearly choked. He was recieving a call from LEP headquarters.

"Good morning, Corporal." said a voice as soon as Grub opened his eyes. He tried to sit up, but was strapped down.

"Where am I?" he asked the mean sounding voice.

"You do not need to know that Corporal Kelp. All you need to know is taht you are a prisoner here, and that the more you obey, the more chance you'll be fed." the voice replied. Grub sniffled. All he wanted was to go home to his mommy. Why did these things always happen to him?

"What do you want?" he asked.

"Nothing short of World Domination, Kelp."

"H-how do you know my name?" he asked. "It's written in Gnommish!" the voice chuckled.

"I am fluent, Corporal. I am a far larger threat than you believe." Grub was by now terrified. A mud-man who knew Gnommish? How? Why? He felt his eyes tearing.

"I want my Mommy!" he yelled between sobs.

"Holy crap," the voice muttered. "What a baby."

"I need to take this call." Artemis said, standing up. Molly frowned.

"Very well. You can take it outside. But Artemis," she said as he walked out the door, making him turn around. "Come back, would you?" Artemis frowned. He had been planning on leaving.

"Perhaps, miss Little.Perhaps."