Fuck the underworld. Seriously, fuck Hades and his unfinished business and his lost souls and his monsters. Fuck it all. And while you're at it fuck magic, and fairy tales and promises of happy endings. And most of all, fuck hope. Hope was the worst of it.
When Emma was a little girl she'd grown up on stories of hope, let herself believe that one day she would find happiness, that her family would find her and they would love her and she would finally have a home. As she grew older she'd hardened to the reality of the world, come to realize that hope was nothing but a cruel lie put in place to set you up for heartbreak and disappointment. So she'd given up on hope. She'd accepted that this was her life at it was as good as it was going to get. Nobody was coming for her and for a long time she was okay with that. Maybe not happy, but she'd found a level of satisfaction that she could live with. She had a good job, a nice apartment and the occasional one night stand to fill the dull ache inside of her for a night when it became too much to bear.
But then one day, a ten year old boy in a pea coat with hope spilling out of his ears showed up at her door and turned her world upside down. She'd fought it for a long time but eventually his tenacity had wormed its way into her heart and left just enough room for hope to be smuggled in. And just like that she'd begun to believe again. She'd found her family and a home and the hope had grown and she'd truly believed that just maybe, maybe, she could have her happy ending.
And then she'd met Killian. Loyal, passionate, understanding, steadfast, beautiful, frustrating, Killian. He had never been short on belief – not when it came to her. While Henry may have wormed his way into her heart, Killian fought his way in, scaling walls a mile high and breaking down the door until she finally, truly believed that she could have a happy ending, and love. And not only that she could have it, but that she deserved it. And she'd gotten it. With him and Henry – and their whole weird family tree – she'd gotten her happy ending. Despite all the monsters and villains and deaths that they faced, Emma never gave up hope that they would defeat them. Together.
And they'd been happy. For six months. Six months after she had gone to literal hell to get her true love back. Six months of peace, of no villains or monsters or catastrophes. Of no Grumpy running and shouting, interrupting intimate moments. Just love and happiness and normality and hope.
And then it had all come crashing down.
Emma should have known. She should have known that things could never have been so calm in a place like Storybrooke. She should have known that during those six months the latest bad guy of the week had been lying in wait, plotting. She should have known that they couldn't just go to the underworld and not suffer any consequences. She should have known they'd bring something back with them. She should have known because she wasn't from some mystical land like her parents were. She was from the real world where life always screws you over right when you're at your happiest. It had done it her whole life and she should have known it would do it again. People like her didn't get happy endings and if she hadn't been so wrapped up in fucking hope she would have seen it coming.
So yeah. Fuck hope. Hope is how she ended up here, in a hastily made camp in the ruins of what used to be the library with the only three people she cared about still left. Maybe camp was an overstatement. Really all it was was a rucksack each, filled with a change of clothes, some food and a memento or two they couldn't bear leaving behind, a camping stove and the odd pot, and as many weapons as they could find or fashion. It was just a place to sleep really. To hide for a few days until it got too risky and they had to move again.
Emma sat, watching Henry eat some kind of cold seafood out of a can with his fingers, her hand on the knife at her hip. Her eyes kept darting between him and the broken table-top they had used to block off the little shelter they'd built between some bookcases and the stairs to the clock tower should they need to stand their ground and fight. Guilt washed over her as she took in his ripped up shirt and jeans. His coat was getting too small for him at the rate he's was growing and he was forced to wear it draped over his shoulders against the chill of the night. She should have taken him out of here when this had all started. But she'd let him convince her with his speeches about heroism and doing the right thing and being the savior and she'd kept them in Storybrooke until it was too late and the town line once again became a prison. He was too young to be living like this, facing these hardships, watching the people he loved be picked off one by one. She couldn't save any of them now. She should have saved him.
She jumped when she heard footsteps on the other side of the entrance, knife out in a second. Henry was on his feet with the gun she'd had to teach him how to shoot at fourteen years old held at the ready, canned food forgotten at his feet. He shouldn't have to live like this.
"It's just us," came David's voice from the other side. Neither of them dropped their weapons as the makeshift door slid open and David and Ruby walked in.
"Shut the door and drop your weapons," Henry commanded once they were in view. His hand was steady on the gun and Emma's heart lurched at the sight.
Ruby and David did as they were told, replacing the wood slate then dropping the sacks they had been carrying on the ground before getting to work divesting themselves of their weapons. David had his sword and two guns – one in his holster and one in the back of his pants. Ruby had a bow, and a quiver of arrows, a small dagger and, well, the wolf thing. Once the weapons had clattered to the ground Henry spoke again.
"Okay, Mom, go ahead, I've got them," he said, gun still fixed on his family.
"Right." Emma put her knife back in her belt and made her way over to them, arms outstretched. Both winced in anticipation as she took a deep breath before plunging a hand into each of their chests. Ruby let out a gasp and David grunted in pain as she ripped their hearts out of their bodies.
"Fuck!"
"You'd think it would hurt less each time but nope," Ruby said. "Each time's as bad as the last."
Emma took a look at the hearts, both bright red and semi-translucent, not a spec of stone to be seen. "They're clear," she told her son over her shoulder and he finally lowered his weapon. Then, with little ceremony she shoved both hearts back into their respective chests.
"Hurts just as bad going back in," David said with a smirk at Ruby.
"Yeah, must be nice to have non-removable hearts," she joked, looking at Emma and Henry.
"Grandpa!" Henry practically threw himself at David, knocking the wind out of him but David didn't falter, wrapping his grandson in his arms and squeezing tight. "Sorry about the gun."
"Don't be sorry," he said, taking Henry's face in his hands. "I'd have my heart ripped out a million times and have a gun pointed at me just as often if it means keeping you and your mom safe. So don't you ever be sorry, you hear me?" Henry nodded.
"Feels like it's coming up on a million times," Ruby said mirthfully, rubbing her chest before getting her own hug from Henry.
Emma just watched them, picking up the bags her father and her friend had dropped.
"We didn't get much," David said, bending down to help her. "The store's on a constant watch now and we didn't want to risk going more than a few blocks with the patrol as heavy as it is."
Emma shrugged. "It doesn't matter. We need to move again. Tonight."
"What? Why?" Ruby demanded.
"Henry noticed them hovering."
All eyes turned to Henry. "It's true. There was a group of them… Archie, Jefferson and Ashley. They were straying from the usual patrol, coming closer and closer to the library and sticking around a little too long," he explained.
"Point is they're on to us so we need to pack up our stuff and get out of here. I've been saying for weeks that we need to get to the woods," Emma grumbled, dividing the newly procured food equally between the rucksacks (Maybe she gave a little extra to Henry but nobody was going to say anything about that).
"They have the border to the woods surrounded," Ruby reminded them.
"Yeah. So we just need to get in and then as long as we keep moving they'll have a harder time finding us," Emma retorted.
"Emma," David started gently, "getting in and out for food and supplies will be more dangerous if –"
"Then we hunt!" Emma snapped. "Get your stuff together. We need to go now while we have darkness on our side and –"
"Well, well, well, isn't this sweet."
Four heads snapped to the entrance of the shelter where Snow White stood, leaning against the bookcase, her voice taunting. In her hands was the sheriff's riffle. It looked out of place where a bow usually belonged.
Four sets of hands reached for their weapons but Snow was quicker, her rifle raised and pointed at David before he could get his off the floor.
"Ah, ah, ah," Snow chastised, nodding at Emma's raised hands. "You reign in your magic or I'll blow Daddy's brains right out of his charming little head. Think you can get me before I pull the trigger?" Emma narrowed her eyes, hatred for this thing that had become her mother seething out of her. Snow smiled and it made her stomach turn. "Want to try?" Emma waited a beat. She glanced at David, who looked at her over his shoulder, the gun an inch away from his nose. He nodded his head, a silent conversation passing between them quick enough for nobody else to notices it and she held her hands up in surrender.
"Ruby, Henry, drop your weapons."
"Good girl," Snow said. "Now –" In a flash David had knocked the riffle out of Snow's hands, catching it and whipping it around to smash the side of her head with the butt. Snow crumpled to the floor.
David knelt beside his unconscious wife, brushing the hair off her forehead, wincing a bit at the blood that matted it. "Sorry, sweetheart," he whispered, caressing her cheek with his thumb.
"Grandma," Henry started taking a step towards them but Emma stopped him, throwing a hand out.
"Stay away from her, Henry!" she warned, her tone leaving no room for argument. She took a deep breath, steading herself for what she knew they had to do, what she knew no one else had the guts to say. Fuck hope. "We need to kill her."
"Emma!" Ruby shouted at the same time as Henry shouted "Mom!"
"She's your mother!" David insisted, subtlety shifting so that he was blocking Snow from Emma's view and reach.
"No she's not! We know she's not! None of them are anymore!"
"Mom –"
"No, Henry. We tried. We spent months trying to get them back. How many spell books did we pour through? How many of them did we try to get through to? We have to face it. None of them are coming back. Not Snow." She looked at David, who squared his shoulders. "Not Granny." Ruby looked at the floor, avoiding her gaze. "Not –" She couldn't say it. Couldn't bring herself to say his name.
Henry's hand came around her shoulders. "Mom… we don't know that he –"
"They're gone okay. All of them. We have to accept that." She forced David to meet her gaze, eyes imploring. "Whoever that is, it's not Mom. We have to get rid of it so that it doesn't tell him where we are."
David stood, his face sympathetic but there was a resolve in the set of his shoulders. He came over to his daughter and took hold of her shoulders. "Emma, I know you're hurting. We're all hurting. And if you think for one second that I don't hate that thing they turned the woman I loved into then you don't know me at all. But if there's one thing this family has, it's hope." Emma scoffed. "Your mother would never give up on us and we can't give up on her. I know she's in there somewhere and I have to find her. That's what this family does. We find each other. We just have to have hope."
Emma raised her eyes to his, holding his gaze and glowering. "Fuck hope," she said, breaking away from his grasp, but not before she saw his eyes close in dismay as he hung his head.
"We're not killing her," he said firmly.
"Then what do you suggest we do?" Emma shouted, anger and frustration and exasperation wearing her down. She was so tired of living like this.
"We could question her," Henry piped up beside her. All heads turned towards him. "Tie her up, keep her prisoner. Maybe she has information that can help us."
"Henry," Emma sighed, softer but still exhausted. "We've tried that, they don't give up anything."
"What about true love's kiss? It's the most powerful magic in the world!" he said his voice full of hope and Emma hated to crush it but she had to.
"It won't work, kid. They don't feel anything, they don't care about anything. All they are is puppets, loyal to him."
"It's worth a try," David said. "We haven't had a true love come back to any of us… that we know of."
"I'm telling you it won't work!" Emma insisted. "They have to love you back!" David bit his lip, fist clenching at the harsh words.
"Well it's better than killing her!" Henry barked at before turning and stomping off up to the tower.
"Henry…" Emma called after him.
"Let him go," David said.
"He has a point," Ruby spoke. "Look I know we've tried before but what else can we do with her? We can try the kiss and if it doesn't work we might as well see if we can get some information." Emma still hesitated. "Do you really think killing Henry's grandmother in front of him is a good idea?" Ruby argued.
Emma sank down on a step, her head heavy between her hands. She was silent for a long time. "Fine. It's your funeral."
David and Ruby set to work, the latter tearing strips out of an old shirt with too many holes in it to use as bindings as David gingerly lifted Snow and placed her still unresponsive body into the chair Henry had been occupying earlier. Once she was securely tied and relieved of all the weapons they could find on her, all they could do was wait.
It was nearly an hour before they heard a soft groan coming from the corner of the room. A look was passed between the three of them, David finally making the first move and walking cautiously over to the petite brunette.
"Snow?" her only answer was another groan but after a minute she raised her eyes to the group. In her gaze was exactly what Emma knew they would find: nothing. Cold, emptiness staring back at them through the shell that was her mother. "Do you know who I am?" David asked.
"Sure I do. You're Prince Charming," she spat sarcastically. "They told me all about you and the savior," she sneered.
"You don't know who we are to you, do you?" David said and Emma could hear the heartbreak in his voice. This is why this was a bad idea. This woman may look like Snow but she wasn't the woman her father fell in love with and she didn't have any shred of love for them or memory of them. Snow just looked at him blankly, uncaring. David let out a shaky breath and looked at his wife. Despite everything, Emma could still see the love he held for her pouring out of him as he spoke. "We've been here before you know," he chuckled soflty. "I know you don't remember me, but I can make you."
Emma stumbled back as though she'd been hit. The words, a perfect echo of the ones that had been spoken to her so long ago, like a knife to her heart as a sea of memories flooded her. An apartment in New York. A knock at the door. A familiar stranger. A kiss. Emma had to turn away, tears welling up in her eyes as she watched her father lean in and kiss a woman who didn't know who he was anymore.
She heard David cry out and whirled around to see him holding a hand to his bleeding lip. Snow sat glaring daggers at him. When his shock wore off David stood, chuckling. "I know you're still in there."
"Enough of this!" Emma stalked over, bracing her hands on the arms of the chair and looming over Snow. "Why is he doing this? How is he doing this?" Snow just glared at her, mouth shut. "ANSWER ME!" Emma shouted. She was done with this. Done with pretending things weren't as bad as they were to appease everyone else, sick of playing along with their vain belief that things would get better. This was their life now. There were four of them left in the whole damn town. It was going to be like this until they found him and killed him and even then it might not get better. She was done believing they would beat this new baddie and get everyone back. They were gone. All of them were gone.
Killian was gone.
It was the first time she'd let herself admit it. She'd gone to hell for him and it had only bought them six fucking months before he was taken away again. And she was done. She wanted this guy stopped. She wanted him dead and then she wanted to get her kid and get the hell out of Storybrooke and she wanted to leave it and all the monsters still inside of it burning in her rear-view mirror.
Snow didn't answer. But she smirked. She fucking smirked and Emma lost it. Pushing herself back she let all the anger and the hate rush through her. She remembered her time as the dark one, remembered the feeling of dark magic singing in her veins. Magic is feeling. And right now she was feeling a hell of a lot more than she'd let herself feel in the last few months. Focusing on Snow she watched as the woman started to gasp for air and it only fueled her rage.
"Emma!" She could hear Ruby and David but it sounded far away, muted by the dull throbbing of blood and power rushing in her ears.
"Where is he?"
She could see the life draining out of the woman, her mouth moving, trying to form sentences, and she concentrated harder. She felt David's hand on her arm but she ignored it, consumed by her own magic, by the darkness.
"Mom!" The sound cut through the thick fog, snapping her out of her daze as she looked up to see Henry looking panicked as he ran down the stairs.
Snow gasped, heaving large gulps of air, coughing and laughing at the same time. The laugh brought Emma's attention back to her. "You'll find out soon enough," Snow promised. Emma frowned.
"Mom! David! Ruby! They're coming! They found us!"
Panic rushed through Emma. Heart racing and adrenaline replacing the magic that had been running through her veins. It was a trap. Of course it was a trap! They wouldn't have sent her alone. She wouldn't have gone in alone! They didn't think like that! Stupid, stupid, Emma!
"Ruby!" The brunette faced her, serious and ready for orders. "Take Henry. Go wolf and get the hell out of here. Get as far as you can and keep him safe."
Ruby nodded solemnly and took off her red cape.
"No, Mom! I want to stay with you!" Henry cried, sounding younger than he had in a long time.
"Henry, go!" Emma ordered, picking up a gun and tossing it to David. "We'll hold them off as long as we can. Go with Ruby. Now!"
"But, Mom," Henry was near tears.
"I'll find you, Henry," she promised. She made herself believe it so that he would. "Go."
Henry backed away, not breaking her gaze as he picked up his and Ruby's packs and climbed on the giant wolf's back. They disappeared into the night.
Emma wasn't sure what happened next. There was a sound, an explosion, louder than anything she'd ever heard before and a blinding light. One minute she was standing, hands raised ready to fight and the next she was on the ground, ears ringing. She lifted her head, a sharp pain shooting through it. "David?" she asked. Her voice sounded muffled and distant to her own ears. She finally saw him, lying unconscious under a bookshelf. His face was cut, his eye turning a purplish-red. Slowly, painfully she started to drag herself over to him through the debris and smoke and dust that filled the room. Every muscle in her body protested as she moved and she could feel a wet pain in her leg that was both cold and burning.
The click of heels echoed across the library floor as a pair of black boots emerged from the fog. They stopped beside her arm and one lifted to kick her over onto her back. Emma groaned in pain as she rolled, coming face to face with Regina standing over her. The woman turned to address someone behind her.
"Tell him we found her."
And Emma could swear she saw a flash of leather and metal before the darkness overtook her.