Another Homestuck fanfic! Whoooo. Let's get it onnnn. *Blows noisemaker.*
Pretty sure I should warn you guys that there is going to be adult content, gore, swears, heavy body mutilation, and possible funny clown references.
Chapter 1: Take Me to Clown Church
There were once two Jerboa sisters, one a goddess of animals and life, was named Toni. While the other was a demonic juggalo named Innot. The sisters got along well. Well, almost. Toni didn't like clowns, and she didn't like the fact that her sister was a clown fanatic.
Toni and her sister Innot were just sitting around in Innots house, doing pretty much nothing, but watching HellTV. The girls were both so bored that they decided to travel to another planet in search of a party. "Hey Toni, wanna travel and see if any other planets are partying?" She asks her little sister. Toni nodded with a smile. "Sure! It'll be fun!" She says while clapping happily.
Toni grabs onto Innot, and holds on for dear life as Innot jumps as high as she can. After the jump, they land on a planet. But the planet they land on is a strange planet they've never been to before. "Okay lil sis, I'm sure there's a poppin' party around here." Innot says while walking around. Her little sister TJ follows her along behind her. "Alright Inny. But… Where are we?" She asks her with confusion. "...Don't know." She responds without a care in her voice. Toni squeaks in shock. "WHAT?! You hopped us onto a planet, and you don't know where the HECK we are?!" She presses while lightly shoving Innot.
Innot doesn't seem to care about her little sisters anger. "Calm your itty bitty titties TJ, I'll find out where the hell we are." She responds. Toni doesn't seem pleased with this. "Besides, I closed my eyes before I hopped. So there's no telling where we've landed." Innot adds. Toni just gets more mad. She sighs, giving up on asking anymore questions. "Well, maybe we can find someone who lives here to give us information." Toni says while inspecting the surroundings.
As they soon stop for what Innot calls, "A Faygo break", they hear a noise coming from behind them. "U-uhh… Innot? Did you hear that?" She says, her voice getting shaky. Innot is guzzling some faygo, and not paying her sister much attention. "Relax. Its probably someone's pet, or wildlife. Here, swish some faygo?" She offers the purple liquid to her little sister. Toni takes it, and takes a few small gulps of the drink. The noises soon get repetitive, and there is a bit of chuckling noises being heard. "I-innnnnot! There's someone following ussss!" Toni whines nervously. Innot doesn't look afraid. She even seems fearless. "Alright, whoever you are, you better come out now, and I won't hurt you." Innot warns.
A strange looking woman comes out. She's tall, and rather curvy. She catches Innot's eyes. "Well hello pretty lady. What are you doin' around here?" She asks while looking the woman up and down. She lightly walks over to the both of them. "Well, I could ask you little ones the same thing." She says with a grin. This woman looked rather strange. She had on face paint, just like Innot did. Her base skin was light grey, her eyes looked like Innots as well. Was this woman a demon like Innot? Either way, it creeped Toni straight of her wits, and she wanted to leave before there was trouble.
"Innooooot." She whined to her big sister. "We shouldn't… Talk to strangers…" She whispered. "What? Jerbo please! You talk to strangers. Like, ALL the time. And, you talk to me. And I'm stranger than that. So shush!" She hisses back at her. Toni whimpers trying to hide behind her. Innot turns her attention back to the clown looking woman. "Terribly sorry for my little sis here. She can be… A little testy. Shes got a fear of clowns for some damn reason." She says while glaring back at Toni.
Toni frowns, and her ears lower. "Anyways… We were just lookin' around. Seeing if there was a party. Cause you know, we are pretty bored and stuff." She says while putting her hands on her hips. "Well little ones, I know a place. Its not really a party, but its something." She says with a gleaming grin. "Oh! What is it? Can we come with ya?" Innot asks with interest.
The other woman chuckles softly. "Its clown church." She says with a smile. Innot taps her foot on the ground hard, slightly shaking the ground, causing Chahut to wobble a bit. "Wheeeeew! Clown church?! That sounds AWESOME. Can we come with you? I promise we won't embarrass you in any sort of way!" She says while lightly begging. "Sure you can. And don't worry, I can already tell you two look like fun." She replies to her. "Now, does my sister need some sort of makeup on? If so, I brought mine." She grins evilly.
The woman shrugs. "Sure. You can put some on her. It would help her fit in." She says. Toni was done. MORE than done. She wasn't about to go to a church full of clowns, and be scared shitless. "Innot, NO. I'm not going with you to… Ugh… clown church. And I'm NOT wearing clown-AUGHNBLPLP!" She starts before Innot starts to put the makeup on her little sister. Innot may be an asshole, but she would protect her sister, and she does love her a lot. By the time she's done, Toni looks like a very cute clown jerboa.
She looks like she's the sweetest little clown you could ever see. "There now. You look better. Take a look!" Innot says while holding up a black mirror. "No! You've probably made me very- Oh my gosh!" Toni grabs the mirror, and takes a good LONG look. "I-i'm… I'm… So… Pretty and adorable!" She giggles.
Innot smirks. "See? I wasn't gonna make you look like Bozo the Clown." She chuckles. "Heh… Y-yeah…" She says while returning the mirror to her. "Now, we should probably get going now." Innot says. "...But… With a stranger?" Toni whimpers softly. "Oh... I'm not a stranger. I'm Chahut. Chahut Maenad. Now we aren't strangers, now are we?" She says cheekily with a wide grin. "Nice to meet you Chahut! I'm Innot, and this is Toni!" She says while extending her paw out to her.
Chahut grabs her paw with her hand, and shakes it. "Nice to meet you too! Now, let's get going!" She says while starting walk in the direction of the church. Innot grabs Toni and follows. Toni didn't really want to go to a clown church, but… For her sister, she can make a small exception.
As they reach the church, Chahut walks in without them for a second, and Innot takes Toni to the side. "Hey, listen. I'm not sure they know what we are, or that we have our… Special abilities. So its best not to show those off. Try to keep those on downlow." She tells her in a hushed whisper. "Of course." Toni responds with a nod. Innot nods back, and soon follow after. The room was full of people that looked like clowns. They greeted Chahut with honks and whoops. She chuckled and waved at some of them.
The sisters follow behind her, Innot staring at some of the people in there, and Toni isn't making any eye contact. One of them grabs Toni's tail, and pulls her away. "A-aah! Innooooot…" She squeaks. In a flash, Innot is over by the person that grabbed her and drug her away. The person looks up, and the sight horrifies them.
Innot is standing over them, snarling, her eyes glowing. "...If you wanna not turn this service into a DAMN funeral, you will let her the FUCK go." She growls. The person lets her go, and Innot picks her up. "Damn it, why'd you have to go and get nearly kidnapped?" She whispers to her. "Well I'm sorry! I didn't know he-OOF!" She says as she's plopped onto a seat next to Chahut. She looks over to her with a small frown on her painted lips. "Everythin' alright lil darlin?" She ask her. Toni nods softly. "Y-yes ma'am. J-just a little shaken up…" She responds softly.
Chahut smirks. "Awww. You don't have to call me ma'am little darlin'. You can just call me Chahut." She says while rustling Toni's hair with her big palm. Innot sits next to her. Toni looks at her bigger sister, and she can tell… She's clearly taller than this Chahut woman. Soon after, everyone is just chattering for a bit, and passing around the Faygo. Innot seems rather bored, and she yawns. Chahut looks over. "You okay over there?" She asks.
Innot looks over and nods. "Yeah, I'm cool. Just… Ugh. Its a little… No offense…" She starts. "It seems a little… Slow. Like… I thought churches where like… Upbeat, fast pace and such." She finishes. "On the contrary, some services are sometimes slow, while the other times they can be quite fast and uplifting. O-opps… S-sorry.." She quiets down.
Chahut shrugs. "Its alright little darlin'. You answered it for me. I take it your religious too?" She asks while taking a few swigs of Faygo. Toni and Innot looked at each other. Thats a quandary. Toni is a goddess, AND christian. Toni had to think. And FAST. "W-well! I mean… S-sorta! I'm willing to get in one! Maybe this church might be right for me!" She answers swiftly.
Innot sighs and smirks. {My little sister. A little liar already.} She thinks to herself. "Ah! Well great! I'm sure you'll like this church!" Chahut says with a lazy grin. Pretty soon someone talks to Chahut about her new little found friends. "Hey, can you like tell these… Freaks that their, horns or whatever that is blocking the WAY?" The person says grochily. "They are not freaks. I think they're pretty cool. Who are you to say that-" Before she can finish her sentence, a loud booming voice comes on over head. "And WHO are YOU to say they are or aren't freaks?" The loud and scary voice says angrly.
Chahut winces, and ducks lightly. Pretty soon, the whole place bows except for Innot. Chahut whispers to her. "Motherfucker get DOWN!" She says in a sharp hushed tone. Innot jerks down to her knees to bow. "W-who in the HELL was that?!" Innot whispers back. "Probably the pastor! Shuuuuush!" Toni says softly while bowing. The voice sounds rather gravely. "Sister!" He calls out.
Chahut lightly jumps in surprise. "A-ahh… Yes your excellency?" She responds to him. "I see you've brought two aliens with you." He says gruffly. "W-well sir, they're not really-" She starts. "SILENCE!" He commands. Chahut winces, quieting herself.
Innot and Toni kneel there, next to Chahut, quietly. "Now, let me get a better look at these motherfuckers. Bring them up to me." He commands. Chahut gulps, feeling nervous. "Uh… Sir… Your uh… Camera?" She responds softly. "Ah fuckin' shit, I forgot. Give me a second. Now how do I… Where the motherfuck…" He mutters.
Innot and Toni couldn't help but giggle. "He doesn't know how to work the Skype function?" Innot asks Chahut. Chahut elbows Innot roughly. "Don't laugh!" She snarls at Innot. Innot growls at her. "...I wouldn't do that again if I were you." Innot warns her. Toni then steps in between them, to keep the fighting down. "Now now, ladies, stop. Please don't fight…Lets not make a bad first impression…" Toni says softly.
Innot and Chahut calm down and smirk at each other. "Heh, got a lil fire in yer tank." Innot says cheekily. "Heh, so do you. Had a lot of guts to speak up to me like that." Chahut responds. After a moment more, the "priest" finally gets the camera going. "There we the motherfuck go. Now. Sister, bring them up here." He huffs.
Both Innot and Toni walk up slowly to the camera. "... What are your names?" He asks. Toni steps forward a touch. "I-i'm Toni Jerboa…" She says shakily. "And yours?" He says while pointing to Innot. "... Innot Aobrej sir." Innot had a glazed look in her eyes. She seemed rather bored. She let out a small yawn. The priest growls. "...Oh I'm sorry, do I motherfuckin bore you?" He asks gruffly. She looks up at him. "Hm? Oh sorry man, I'm just tired. I don't get good sleep." She responds while giving him a small tired look.
He snorts, before asking them a question. "Alright then, now. What in the motherfuck are you both?" He asks.
Toni steps forward gently. "W-well sir… We are both.. Uh… Jerboas." She starts out softly. "Can't hear you. Speak up!" He barks. Innot gently pulls Toni back, and walks forward. "Okay okay, we are jerboas. I don't think you have those here on your planet. But i'll be quick to explain. Jerboas are tiny jumping mouse like creatures. Thats what we are, nothing more, nothing less." She says rather quickly. "Alright…Why are you here?" He asks more.
Innot gulps, and tries to think of something on the fly. "Well sir, we are here to learn about clown church. You know, see what the hype is. Me and my sister are very interested in learning about it." She replies. "Hm.. Interesting. Alright. Sister, take them back. Let's get this on." He says while seemingly shuffling papers.
The women go back to their seats, and everyone rises and sits back on their seats. Chahut lets out a small sigh in relief. "Well.. That was close little darlin's." She says softly. The women nod at her. The church service soon starts, and the "preacher" preaches his sermon. By the time its over, everyone gets up and leaves. "So… What'd ya think darlin's?" Chahut asks both Toni and Innot.
Toni gives a small thumbs up. "Well, I think its cool! I'm not sure if its for me… But I'm willing to give it another shot!" She says with a grin. "What about you sis?" She turns to her sis. "I enjoyed it! I know I'm DEFINITELY coming back here!" She says with a grin. Chahut looks happy. "Great! I'll see you next service?" She asks. They both nod. They wave her off, and head off for back home.
Wheeeeeew shiiiit. That happened! Okay, holy balls this chapter one is long af. Sorry. Ah well, its better than nothing! I hope you guys enjoyed this, and I hope to see you in my next chapter! Bye!~