Hey guys :D

Just to say that this story is already fully written so I'll be uploading new chapters twice a week (Tuesdays and Thursdays). I was going to upload it as a one shot but it would have been pretty long so I've divided it into chapters :)

CHAPTER WARNINGS- Graphic self harm, Suicidal thoughts

I looked down at the shiny steel blade which was clenched between my fingers. Then pressed it into the smooth bronzed skin of my arm and dragged it across, again and again, gasping at the pain. The blood bubbled out of the fresh wounds and formed beautiful beads of deep crimson that lay on my skin like blood on sand. The beads merged and began to trickle down my arm. I lifted it to my mouth and ran my tongue along the raised skin. Iron, pain, hatred. My skin was warm and I winced as my saliva infiltrated the gashes, leaving them clean and shining, ready for more blood to fall, to catch, to savor.

Once the blood was gone the cuts remained. Beautiful reminders of my hatred and pain. Perfectly straight red lines razed through my skin on raised, lonely hills, which I know will soon mutate to far uglier scars.

I sat there for a while, just looking at them. Seeing the difference between them and my older cuts, thin white lines crisscrossing my lower arms, reminding me of all my hurt. My self-hatred, my loathing.

A knock on the door startled me and my head jerked up. I unconsciously pulled my sleeve down, covering my newest cuts.

"Marik?" A soft female voice called.

Ishizu...

"You alright in there?"

I sighed, could I never get time alone?

"Yeah, I just need to wash my hands. Give me a minute." I replied in a false cheery tone.

"Okay."

I turned on the cold tap and ran the knife under it, cleaning it of blood, which swirled down the plughole. I tucked it into my jeans pocket and glued a false smile to my face before unlocking the door and stepping into the hall where my sister was waiting.

She gave me a soft smile, which I returned, then stepped into the bathroom to take a shower.

I waited til I heard the water start running to walk to my bedroom and close the door securely behind me.

I knew she'd be at least twenty minutes, maybe longer. I sat on the edge of my bed and removed the knife again, staring at my bare wrist.

I could do it.

Two quick cuts. Vertical. Deep.

I wouldn't have to hurt anymore.

It could all be over.

I sighed. I couldn't do it. I couldn't leave Ishizu to find my body. It wasn't fair on her.

I reached under my bed until I found a small locked box, I quickly entered the code and it swung open.

It was full of blades. Pencil sharpeners. Craft knives. Nails. Screws. Drawing pins. Bent hair slides. Bits of broken glass and jagged metal. Anything that would hurt.

Sometimes I'd be at school, and I just needed something sharp, anything would do. This was the collection I had acquired. In an odd way it was impressive. In another way it was sick.

I put the knife carefully in the box, then, after making sure it was locked, slid it under my bed.