A/N: AU, RL, assuming Lambo is 18 and Reborn is uh, an adult. Inspired by ahoshi! by selandora, best RL fic IMHO (and i think i wrote this fic heavily influenced by it).
The moment I saw him I knew he was a shady character. Freaky eyes obscured suspiciously by a fedora, wearing a tuxedo all the time and not to mention his pet lizard –chameleon, whatever that is. So I just moved into this apartment block and I decided to be a good neighbour and drop by his house.
He greeted me by slamming the door right into my forehead.
"Ow, what the fuck!" I flailed around, clutching my head, mochi I was supposed to give to him soaring into the air – flying at the speed of light – and he caught it with ease. The man cocked an eyebrow at my colourful language and I eventually stopped shrieking.
"Stupid cow." With that, my new neighbour had decided on my nickname, of course, noticing my awesome cow print shirt and uh, cow slippers. I was pretty much obsessed with cows – I mean they're pretty cool with their spots and eating grass and farting methane that causes a hole in the ozone. I digress. After that I launched into a huge protest and gave him the insult treatment Lambo-style until he was begging on his knees and crying for mercy.
"Open up, evil-tuxedo-man! I'm supposed to be a good neighbour and exchange polite talk with you! Don't just slam the door on me!" I hollered, after the tuxedo-man promptly closed the door shut. He reopened it again and this time whacking my forehead for the second time, sending me sprawling on the floor.
"Shut up, you're disturbing the other neighbours. And my name is Reborn, now go away." He deadpanned, while I groaned on the ground. It was then that I met my nemesis, the evil villain in every great hero's storyline. I knew I was bound by fate to defeat this tuxedo-evil-man-Reborn, but first I'm pretty hungry so I guess- lunch first.
"Stupid Reborn, slamming his freaking door on my head twice… and not even a word of thanks for the mochi." I muttered to myself, turning on the gas stove and adding pasta. I stood there waiting for my pasta to be ready and then the phone started ringing.
"Yare yare, yes hello?" I picked up the phone impatiently. The following 20 minutes was just a blur of screeching and yelling as my mother and aunt nagged my ears off. I don't need you to tell me to change my underwear everyday, I don't need you to remind me to clean my ears after my bath, I don't need you to tell me to fold my blanket because I usually don't even bother making my bed in the first place, I don't need you to remind me to eat my – wait speaking of that, is that burning I smell? I gingerly placed the phone on the table while the nagging tirade continued and headed for the kitchen and I was almost knocked out by the terrible burning smell.
"Help help oh crap my pasta!" I ran around panicking and grabbed the pasta from the stove but I forgot that the pot was about the same temperature as the sun so the dried out pasta spilled all over the floor and if things couldn't get any worse, the fire alarm system turned on and the sprinklers started spewing water happily all over me. "Oh fuck!" when in doubt, panic and swear, and then curl up in a ball beside the kitchen counter and stare at the soggy burnt pasta all over the floor.
"What's going on in here?" a deep voice demanded and I turned around to see my not-so-friendly neighbour glowering down at me. I stopped swearing and looked up at him through my wet fringe.
"Uh..uhm…" I stuttered, embarrassed for once. Reborn sighed and removed his jacket and tie – holy, he looks amazing in that shirt –
"I was cooking, you know, my lunch." I snapped out of it, and pointed vaguely at the burnt mess on the kitchen tiles. The sprinklers finally stopped and Reborn unceremoniously grabbed a kitchen cloth and threw it in my direction, before disappearing into the toilet to look for a mop. I picked up the cloth gingerly and hissed when my burn (it was a really hot pot) came in contact with the cloth.
"Where did you hurt yourself, stupid cow?" Reborn grabbed my arm and inspected it mechanically. He discovered the angry red slash across my palms and instructed me to hold the wound under the tap while rummaging for my first aid kit. "Uh, sorry about this…I'm usually not that careless, it's just that my mum called and I'm awesome at cooking alright! That day I made –" I started rambling as usual but was cut off when owwww fuck the cream burns!
"Stay still, cow." He commanded and I settled with sniffling at the burning sensation of the cream on my burn wounds. I watched Reborn's hands apply the cream more gently now, after I've shut up and did anyone ever notice that he has such long fingers? His finger pads are awfully calloused though I don't think that would really fit the bill for a pianist, I was suddenly struck with the image of Reborn dancing along in a tutu to classical music and burst out laughing.
"Will u stay still!" the man glowered at me and made me sober up immediately. Way to go, only a few minutes of interaction and his innate asshole-ness is already in full bloom. I watched his fingers bandage my hands, with a strict precision and I fought the urge to wriggle about uncomfortably. The room was too quiet! His fingers, wrapping the bandage around – once, twice, reaching out to cut the gauze, I was hypnotized by those seasoned- snip snip, attaching the tape with ease that I (begrudgingly) would never be able to do, and then his hands retreat and I snap out from my intense-eye-makeout with his hands. Wait, why was I so fixated on his hands?
"Uh, thanks." I scratched my head absently, somehow unable to meet his eye.
"Now, clean up the rest of the mess yourself." Reborn declared, with a heartless hairflick and a throw of the mop, he went out of my apartment before I could launch into an angry tirade.