A/N This is something a little different. Inspired by Things no Longer Allowed Involving Shipgirls, I decided to try my hand at a daily post/chapter thing. Something for me to work on everyday and keep my creativity going while I plan advancements for my other two 'more series' stories. I hope some of you enjoy Zombieland Saga as much as I do.

Rule 1: Tae-chan must bathe daily

Sakura and the other girls were glad they didn't carry the reek of decay. That would have made life after death harder to bear. Yet eve so everyone enjoyed their bath time. The hot water of the shower beating down invigorated necrotic flesh, the following bath soak was relaxing, the smells of soap and shampoo and lotions was calming. Yūgiri took her hygienic habits to a ritualistic degree. Kōtarō himself was known to spend hours soaking in the tub. The one exception to the norm was Tae, who for whatever reason objected to bathe time, in her own unique fashion.

"Sakura, OHAYO GOZAIMASU!" Kōtarō 'yoinked' Sakura into a random side closet as she was walking down the hallway.

"G-good morning." The pink-haired girl replied meekly, unsure what madness the producer was about to spout on her. Kōtarō had shut the door behind them and was leaning uncomfortably close to her face. Even this close she couldn't see his eyes past his dark shades.

"Yesss g-o-o-d morning, mmm. Heyyy, can I ask you something personal?" He wasn't smiling or frowning so Sakura had no idea where this was going. Nervously she nodded her head.

"Sure. I guess-"

"WHY IS TAE-CHAN NOT BATHING? She smells like, eh, you know, BEE OH!?" He theatrically held his nose with one hand, and waved his hand in front of his face with th4e other. "Phew phew phew! Not how an idol should smell!"

"Eto... How should an idol smell?" Sakura wondered, more confused than before.

"Ahhh, well you know… Uh." Kōtarō fidgeted for a moment, caught off guard by the fair question. "Like uh, uh, NOT LIKE A ZOMBIE! BAKA! Think you're so clever with your... Your... QUESTIONS?"

"Maybe you could talk to Tae-chan about this?" Sakura shrugged. Why did Kōtarō always come to her when things in the group broke down? Saki was the leader and Yūgiri held everyone's respect. Either of them would be better to go to. Though she suspected he was a little scared of Yūgiri, and Saki could be unpredictable. Not as unpredictable as Tae, still though.

"USELESS! Worthless rotting doll! I'll handle this myself. Hm hm hm!" Kōtarō spun around to leave, his blazer flapping dramatically. It would have been a cool exit if he wasn't facing the back of the closet.

"Eto… did you mean to go this way-"

"I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING, BAKA!" His fists twitched with agitation. "Every move I make is precise and planned. I think five moves ahead on the board, something you can't do with your worthless zombie brain!" He glanced over his shoulder to see she had already left, missing his brilliant diatribe. "Uzai." He harrumphed to himself.

Operation Bath Time

Tae-chan was wandering around an empty room (of which there were several) when a fried squid smacked into the side of her face. Moving with an uncharacteristically speedy reflex, she snatched the squid out of the air before it touched the floor. She eagerly crammed the whole thing into her mouth, just as another plodded onto the floor a few feet away. Followed by another and another and so on. The trail of greasy food leading a winding route through the mansion, and ending at the bathtub, soapy water spilling over the top as the faucet had been left carelessly on.

"Ohayo gozaimasu, Tae-chan." Kōtarō whispered to himself smugly. "You have fallen for my wiles, yeass. Showtime." Kōtarō stepped forward quickly to push the zombie into the tub, just as she bent over to fetch a squid, and he slipped on the soapy floor, flipping over Tae and dunking himself into the bathtub. "I thought you underestimated me, but I was the one- the underesti- I WAS THE ONE-" He paused. Tae-chan, lacking interest in his rant, had wandered off again. Yūgiri and Lily, however, were peeking at him from opposite sides of the doorway.

"Kōtarō-han, do you need assistance? Are you feeling too feeble and pained to disrobe yourself?" Yūgiri questioned, her face mixed with concern and confusion.

"Maybe he's washing his clothes while he bathes." Lily suggested.

"Hmmm. Very economical of him. Is water in so short a supply in this age?"

"Get out." Kōtarō grumbled before Lily could reply. His tone was subdued but not defeated. "You are indeed worthy of the title 'legendary', but you have not yet faced my true brilliance-"

"Pardon? Did you summoned me, Kōtarō-han?" Yūgiri reappeared silently in the doorway, like magic.

"I SAID GET OUT!"

Operation Bath Time (The 2nd charge)

"He what? Ha ha ha ha! Oh Shrimpy! I wish I was you. Well, not really, I'd just have loved to see that." Saki snorted, positively rolling on the floor, her blond locks splayed out behind her. "What a dumb ass! Or Tae-chan is secretly a genius. Oi, you holding out on us, Tae-chan?"

"Rrraargh?" Tae looked up from the couch she was ripping into, stuffing stuck in her teeth.

"I'm not Shrimpy, I'm Lily." The youngest member of the group pouted. "How did you know Tae-chan was there?"

"I ran into Sakura earlier." Saki replied, still laying on the floor. "She told me Slim Shady had a stick up his ass about Tae-chan."

"Kōtarō-san is going to keep going till he gets what he wants." Lily said worriedly. The combined shenanigan-ian might of Kōtarō and Tae could bring the entire house down around them, if it kept escalating.

"He can become rather fixated."Yūgiri added "I once had a similar gentleman caller…"

"Sorry to interrupt your story, Big Sis, but I will take care of this problem." Saki said, climbing to her feet and cracking her knuckles.

You're going to kill Kōtarō-san!?" Lily sounded alarmed.

"Huh? Nah. Not today anyway. I'm going to give Tae-chan a wash so he drops this." Saki replied. "Oiii, Tae-chan, stop eating the couch pleassssse. Let's go outside, okay? Come on. Let's go for a walk."

Saki's plan was much simpler in invention. Eloquently so! She was going to literally hose Tae off like a muddy tire, clothes and all. No fuss no muss. The only problem was the water wasn't coming out, for some reason. "Oi, come on now!" Saki shook the hose, but nothing happened. Saki turned up the pressure, but still no results. Throwing the hose down in frustration, she then saw the problem. "Tae-chan, you're standing on the hose. Move please." Tae looked down and, seemingly understanding, stepped aside. The sudden release of full pressure turned the garden hose into an angry, water spouting serpent. Saki made several grabs at the flailing tube, only to get herself soaking wet and smacked in the face a few times. Tae, being ever helpful, caught the hose in between her teeth subduing it easily.

"Thank you, Tae-chan." Saki almost reached the hose when the unthinkable happened. The distant sound of the Jelly Cake Truck. Dread slowly filled Saki's soul.

"Aarggrhh?" Tae got that look in her eyes. The one before she went berserk.

"Tae-chan… resist the jelly cake siren sooooong-" She didn't get to finish her comment before Tae took off, the hose still clamped in her jaws. The same water hose that had whipped around and somehow tangled itself around Saki's legs, now dragging her face-down through all the mud they had created. Of course, the hose was attached to the faucet still, so Tae quickly ran out of slack, and the rubber tube yanked away from her and sprung directly at Saki. "Oh come on…." She groaned as the hose met her muddy face...

Operation Bath Time cancelled

"Oooh what's this? The big, bad biker girl defeated by gardening equipment? The same things that defeat tanuki? Hohoho! You look like a tanuki actually." Kōtarō snickered, though he made sure to stay out of Saki's grabbing range. Yūgiri was holding an ice pack to Saki's black eye. Luckily it could be hidden by her hair if it didn't go down before the next show. "I say we take her apart and put her in the dishwasher. Hmhm!" Kōtarō crossed his arms and nodded to himself.

"Could I try to resolve this before we resort to such drastic measures?" Yūgiri quietly asked, trying to diffuse the situation before Saki started throwing things. Kōtarō was too afraid of Yūgiri for a standard mocking response, so instead he spun on his heel and left with a shit-eating grin on his face. Saki was pretty much done with the affair and didn't care, but didn't vocalize her thoughts. "Tae-han, come with me please." She took Tae hand and led her away in a fashion that was well-practiced.

The next day

Sakura hummed a song she couldn't remember the words to, a towel roll under her arm, the bathing room her destination. She didn't bother knocking. It was seven AM, this shower was hers for an hour. "Hup!" She gasped in shock, dropping her bathing materials. "Tae-chan?" Tae was in the shower, chewing a bottle of shampoo. "I'm sorry - I'm sorry - I'm sorry" Sakura blushed hard, backing out of the room fast.

"Ohayo gozaimasu, Sakura. You look more lost than normal. Hm-hm-hm" Kōtarō smirked, stepping into the bathroom regardless of it being her time. "WAAAAAAAH?" He screamed before the sound of someone falling on the floor. Sakura decided to take her shower later in the morning.

"How did you get Tae-san to like showers?" Lily asked as she and Yūgiri set the table for breakfast.

"I was educated in many arts and practices." Yūgiri replied mysteriously. "Do you want to wake up Saki-han for breakfast?"

"Okay!" Lily replied cheerfully.

Needless to say getting Tae to bathe was no longer an issue. Now if only everyone could keep to their appointed shower times.

["Ai here. Daily hygiene practices are an important part of any idols day, so make sure to take care of yourself, because you're someone's idol! Still, it would be nice if we weren't stuck in this house all the time. I want to see how the outside world has changed! Next time on Zombie Land Saga: 'Don't let Junko-chan become a shut-in!' See you then."