Just a note: Most of the funniest moment are taken from a song called "I Must Be Emo". If you haven't heard it, google the title and "stabby rib stab stab". Trust me, you'll find it. Just thought I'd make that clear. :)
Dear Diary,
It is I, Harry Potter. My day was terrible. First Hermione and Ron had too much SEXUAL TENSION to pay attention to me, Ginny turned into a really hot whore after I dumped her, and worst of all, I couldn't get my hair to do that flippy thing like that guy in that one band can do. You know?
I'm giving serious consideration to being emo. I've googled it quite a few times, and frankly, it seems like such a good idea. You know, if Draco dyed his hair black and started cutting, he would look so cu… EVIL! Of course, evil. That's what I said. Nothing more than enemies. Period, end of sentence, enemies.
My scar looked particularly pointy today. This new face cream is doing wonders for my complexion. Now I have to go to that one class and look mopey. Maybe I'll fall on the floor and twitch, just to freak the hell out of Ron. Why is it so fun to tease him?
Harry Potter
Dear Diary,
Got in trouble with Ginny today. She found me stealing her mascara and eyeliner again. Must remember to be more discreet next time. On the other hand, rushing to get it on DID give me that "I-look-dead-and-mopey" vibe I've been going for lately. I did some research, and found out that cutting is a very emo thing to do. I was gonna… but I got scared and started crying. That emo though, isn't it? So instead I put big red marker slashes on my arms. It looks very nice with my long black robe. Its really swishing. I feel PRETTY, OH SO PRETTY, I FEEL PRETTY AND WITTY AND… I mean, um… Shut up.
I started listening to Evanescence. They really seem to understand me, you know? Just because they wrote these lyrics thousands of miles away and years before I became emo, they know EXACTLY how I feel at this exact moment in life. Wow, that was deep. Maybe I should start playing guitar. I could write mopey suicidal love songs too. Guys dig that kind of thing. I mean, girls! Girls with their girly parts and hott girly bodies. Absolutely am a ladies man, 100 NOT gay. Period.
Well, I should go to the Owlery now, I have a few things from Hot Topic I need shipped out here immediately. Like those black wrist bands to cover my 'cuts' that I don't have. I am so emo.
Harry Potter
AUTHORS NOTE:
Okay so this is the beginning of H-emo Potter. If you were in any way, shape, or form offended by this, please feel free to complain loudly to your nearest wall, for it will care much more than I. And if you or someone you know is an emo, please, call this number. It is a problem, and the first step to recovering is admitting that you have a problem. 1-800-EMO-TEAR. Thank you for your time.